“A lot has changed since the last time we saw each other.” His voice is quieter, husky now that it’s just the two of us. My stomach flips at being this close to him, remembering the last time we were like this. Closing my eyes, I bask in his presence. Something calms within me now that he’s here and I know he’s safe.
Memories flash behind my closed eyelids. He held me, our bodies pressed together. The sound of fighting erupted around us, booted feet nearing as more soldiers came flooding into the courtyard…but my whole focus was on the man before me. His lips pressed against mine, a slight possessiveness in the way he pulled me closer,only serving to make me want him more.
Peeling open my eyes, I see he’s watching me with a predatory gleam, and I know he’s remembering the same memory as me. There is nothing I want more than to close the last couple of inches between us and relive the memory, but I know I’ll have to instigate it. In the courtyard, he kissed me, but I get the feeling he won’t do anything unless I make the first move. Awkwardness suddenly fills me as I remember what Vaeril’s lips felt like pressed against my own less than an hour ago. A blushcolours my cheeks, and I take a small step back, clearing my throat as I look away, trying to fill the silence between us.
“I’m sorry about Vaeril and the others,” I offer, still looking around the room, unable to meet his gaze. “They’re…protective.”
His light chuckle has me looking up and seeing his wry smile as he rubs a hand over his beard. “I can’t blame them.”
There’s a brief silence again, and I shift from foot to foot. He fills me with conflicting emotions I don’t know how to deal with. Part of me wants to throw myself into his arms, inhale his masculine scent, and explore his skin to discover exactly how many tattoos his clothes hide. But the more sensible side is chiding me—I am in wayover my head. Tor hasn’t kept his desires for me a secret, and I dofeel pulled towards him, but then there’s Vaeril, who just dropped the bomb that we’re mates. And I don’t even know what to think of the connection I have with Grayson.
I miss him so much. I just hope he’s safe and his connection to me doesn’t put him in danger.Closing my eyes, I reach for the link between us, stroking it gently. Two of the glowing links within me are bright, practically humming, while the one that connects me to Grayson is dim, but it’s still strong, and a feeling of reassurance reaches me as I touch it. I would know if something awful happened to him, right?
A gentle cough has me opening my eyes. Tor is watching me with an expression I can’t decipher. “Tor, why are you here?” I finally ask the question that’s been bugging me since I saw him in my doorway.
“I told you already. I had to find you,” he repeats. He doesn’t step any closer, respecting the distance I’ve put between us, but I know he wants to, I can feelhis need to be close to me.
“Why?”
“I think you know why.” He levels a look at me. “Don’t try and play dumb, Clarissa. We have theematus,” he explains,reverting to his native tongue.Ematus.The word has power, and it rolls over me, my breath hitching as my wrist glows softly as if in confirmation. “I followed it to find you. When I first met you, it flared to life within me and I knew then.”
He pauses, and I can tell he’s trying to decide how much to tell me. I hold my breath, knowing what he’s going to say. I’m not sure I can deal with that knowledge right now, and he seems to sense it, shaking his head.
“I think I know some information about your past,” he tells me instead, and my eyes widen as I remember what I learned today.
“Vaeril thinks I’m part elf!” I blurt out, and his eyebrow rises in a questioning gesture. “They think they worked out who my grandfather was. The library here is huge, there is sure to be more information.” He appears shocked, and I can’t say I blame him. “Will you help me look for it?”
“Yes, of course,” he replies instantly, and looks like he wants to say something else, but after a second, he closes his mouth and shakes his head slightly, smiling at me. “It’s good to see you again, Clarissa.”
My chest warms at his sentiment, and I’m so conflicted that instead of returning the compliment, I ask questions. “What happens now?”
Rubbing a hand through his braids, he shrugs slightly. “I meet the queen, and then I’ll begin my duties.” His expression turns serious as he pins me with his dark eyes. “But there is more we need to talk about.”
“Why can’t you tell me now?” Anxiety floods my body at the prospect. If he tells me what I think he’s going to say, then I’m going to have to choose and I don’t want to do that. Not yet…even though I can’t seem to stop myself from prodding. Wouldn’t it be better just to get it over with quickly rather thandrag it out? My heart thuds painfully in my chest even at the idea of it, but thankfully, he just shakes his head.
“Now isn’t the time, plus, the queen is expecting me,” he explains, and I nod in agreement, trying to keep the sympathetic expression off my face. Just because the queen and I don’t get on doesn’t mean Tor won’t. “I’ll see you soon, Clarissa,” he says with a smile, stepping forward and taking my face in his hands.
For a second, I think I was wrong, that he’s going to kiss me as his eyes drop to my lips. I can see the struggle in his gaze, but he lowers his lips to my forehead instead, kissing the skin there as he breathes in my scent. Without another word, he turns and leaves my room.
“Bye,” I call to the empty room a moment too late, still dazed from his presence. Staring at the door, I wrap my arms around my stomach. The room suddenly feels large and too quiet.
What have I gotten myself into?
“You need to eat more,” Eldrin grumbles from the other side of the long table in Vaeril’s chambers. He’s currently working through his huge bowl of porridge, and I can’t help watching with stunned curiosity. My own bowl is almost empty and had a portion half the size of his, sprinkled with nuts and berries. In the same time it took me to eat that, he was polishing off his third bowl. “You look tired, don’t you ever sleep?” he presses, trying to get a rise from me.
It’s the day after Tor arrived, and I barely slept last night. My mind kept running through everything that happened, replaying every single detail, so I’m sure I look like a wreck. I’m still trying to comprehend everything Master Ardeth told me, and I know I’ll have to go back to the library to speak with him soon.
“How can you eat so much?” I ask in disbelief, as I run my eyes over his body. The muscles in his arm are threatening to burst out of his sleeve as he raises the spoon to his mouth. “Where does it all go?” Eldrin, while bulkier than the others, ispure muscle, and he doesn’t look like he’s got an inch of fat on him.
“He’s a warrior. We need to eat more because of the amount of energy we burn off with our training,” Vaeril chimes in as he returns to the table with his second bowl of porridge. “And he’s right, we need to start fattening you up.” I can feel everyone’s eyes on me, making me feel self-conscious as I continue to eat. I had begun to put some weight back on at the castle thanks to Grayson, but I lost most of that while Vaeril and I were on the run. While I agree with them, I do need to get stronger, after all, I don’t like how their words make me feel insecure.
“Especially for when you start training,” Naril agrees, making my blood run cold. I’d just been thinking that I needed to get stronger, but I hadn’t meant in that way.
When I choke on my porridge, Vaeril has to pound me on the back a couple of times before I can cough out my protest. “Training?”
“You’re part elf, you should know how to fight like one,” Eldrin grits out, shaking his head in disgust as I reach forward and sip my glass of water after my coughing fit.
Vaeril nods in agreement, and I feel a flash of betrayal go through me. “I want you to know how to defend yourself if anything were to ever happen to me,” he explains. A flash of alarm makes me put my glass down firmly as I turn to face him.