Page 94 of Shameless

I feel sick to my stomach. “I really was just a meal ticket to you.”

She shrugs. “Aren’t you happy that you’re off the hook now? Thank fuck my influencer business is taking off and I signed a couple of great deals. I’ll have my lawyer call yours about our contract. You don’t owe me anymore money and you don’t have to stay here. I’ll make sure Jenna is ok. That’s why I didn’t want to let you see her, by the way. Once it was over between us, I didn’t think it was right to burden you with her.”

I’ve never wanted to hit a woman until now. I didn’t really want to hit Jasmine, not even when I found her cheating. I was close to it when she threatened Lula, but now I have to clench my fists. I have to remind myself that she’s pregnant.

“Don’t you dare call our daughter a burden.” I seethe.

“My daughter.” She corrects me for the second time. “Weren’t you listening to the doctor first and to everything I said? I was four weeks pregnant when I met you. I started sleeping with you on purpose so I could say that you knocked me up. Jenna isn’t yours.”

I hate myself for crying in front of Jasmine, but I’m in so much pain. “Sheismy daughter, Jaz. From the moment I held her in the delivery room, she’s been mine. I live for her little smiles, for when she calls me Daddy. The fact that she doesn’t share my DNA, means nothing to me. I’ve raised her and I love her with all my heart and she loves me too.”

My ex-wife looks at me as if I had sprouted a second head. “Are you insane? If someone told me that she isn’t mine, I’d be out of here faster than lightning. So what? Are you going to keep paying me child support?” she snorts.

“Yeah.” I nod. “Nothing has to change. I have the money to honor our agreement. As long as you let me have joint custody, I?—”

“No, Jules. This is fucking weird and it’s the shock talking. I don’t trust that once Jenna is out of the woods, once you’ve had time to think this through, you’ll sue me for every cent you’ve ever given me.”

I fight the urge to yell. The nurse at the reception desk is already looking at me with a scowl and I don’t want to be kicked out. “We can put it in writing that as long as you guarantee me joint custody, our financial agreement still stands and I’m not going to claim any money back. My name is on Jenna’s birth certificate, so as far as the law is concerned, I’m her father.”

Jasmine doesn’t budge. “No. I’m going to be financially independent with the new deal I just signed for my social media presence. All it’s going to take is a DNA test to get the judge to give me custody. You and I are done, Jules.”

Why is she doing this to me? My eyes fill with tears. “Please Jaz,” I beg. “Don’t do this. Jenna is my daughter and I’m the only father she’s ever known. Her world has already been turned upside down when we separated. Please don’t put her through more trauma by taking me away from her.”

She shakes her head. “Jenna is three. Kids at that age are like goldfish. Give her two weeks, she’ll have forgotten who you are.”

My fists are clenched so tightly that my knuckles have turned white. “You can’t be serious right now. I was the one who took care of her ninety percent of the time. I fed her, changed her, bathed her. I put her to bed and read her bedtime stories every night. I was the one who got up if she had a bad dream. I’m her father.”

Jasmine has made up her mind. “No, you’re not. I’ve had enough of you and your family telling me what to do. Your parents have been judging me since the second you brought me home to meet them. They’ve been judging me as a person and as a mother. I’m done with this shit. Jenna is mine and I want you all out of here. Especially her.”

She points her finger at Lula.

My stepsister tightens the foil blanket around herself, as if that could protect her from my ex’s fury.

I’m about to argue that I’m not leaving. Not now, not ever.

“Mr. and Mrs. Cutler,” the ER doctor comes out for the treatment area, followed by Tom. “Jenna received the blood Mr. Turner has kindly donated. We had to give her several internal and external stitches, but she’s stable and we’re confident she’s going to make a full recovery. Of course the cut on Jenna’s leg isn’t her only injury. She also has a concussion and we’d like to keep her overnight for observation. If there aren’t any setbacks, we might release her tomorrow.”

Thank fuck.

Part of the tension and the adrenaline that has been coursing through me dissipates. “Can I see her?”

The doctor looks uncertain. “Sure. She’s being moved into the pediatric ward right now. One parent can stay the night, if you want.”

I have no hesitation. “I’ll stay.”

“No, you won’t.” Jasmine is adamant. “I’m going to see her, you can go home. Jenna is no longer your concern, Jules. I mean it. Go or I’ll call the cops.”

I’m about to argue with her. I need to see Jenna and she needs me. She’s always wanted me when she was sick or scared.

“Let’s go home, Jules.” Mom’s hand brushes against my bicep. “Jenna is in good hands and there’s nothing we can do right now. It’s been a long day and an even longer night. We’re all tired and cranky. Things might look different tomorrow morning, after a good night's sleep.”

I’m about to argue that I’m not going to change my mind about Jenna. Then I look at my pregnant ex-wife and I reconsider.

Maybe Mom is right. Jasmine has always left me to deal with any ailments Jenna had. She begrudged having to care for her, especially if that meant losing sleep.

One night in an uncomfortable hospital chair, might help Jasmine look at being a single parent under a different perspective.

My heart hurts that I don’t get to see my daughter. I hope she doesn’t think her daddy doesn’t care.

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