Page 96 of Shameless

Stefan traces my jaw with gentle fingers, his voice low and soft. “If we don’t know what happened, we can’t protect you. All we want is for you to be safe, Jumps.”

I swallow the thick lump that burns in my throat, fighting the tears that well in my eyes.

I’m surprisingly embarrassed about what happened. Ashamed that I was caught off guard, that I couldn’t defend myself better.

It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault.

I tell that to myself over and over, trying to gather the courage to tell them. I know they’ll believe me.

That’s the problem.

I’m afraid of what they’re going to do when they know. At the same time though I know that if roles were reversed, I would want to know.

It’s time to show these three men that I mean it when I say that I trust them.

“When I was looking for Jenna, I went toward the boathouse. I didn’t think she’d be in there but the door was unlocked and…”

I tell them everything about the attack, how I thought Evan was going to get what he wanted and then kill me.

How I fought him off with everything I had and I conclude my story with how Napoleon came to the rescue, how fiercely he protected me.

“Napoleon wanted me to follow him and he led me to Jenna. Crew caught up with us a few minutes later.”

My story is met with silence.

“Jumps,” Stefan’s voice is rough, as if he were fighting tears too. “I’m so sorry. We were worried about Jenna and we didn’t fucking think. We shouldn’t have left you by yourself. If you hadn’t gotten away from him, I don’t think I could have forgiven myself.”

It’s my turn to comfort him. “No, Stef. It’s not your fault. Finding Jenna was the most important thing and no one could have predicted that Evan would take that opportunity to attack me.”

Jules is still by the door, his tall frame filling the space. “I never thought I’d say this, but thank fuck Napoleon had your back. I’m gonna get the little guy some steak, he earned it. But I agree with Stefan. We should have kept you with one of us. I’m so sorry, Luls.”

I close my eyes, soaking up the warmth of Stefan’s fingers against my face. I lean against his touch, using it like a lifeline to keep me tethered to the fact that I escaped Evan pretty much unscathed. “I don’t hold you responsible for the actions of that monster. Besides, between Napoleon’s sharp teeth and my kick, hopefully that asshole is going to be sore for a few days.”

Crew’s fingers trace one of the worst bruises on the side of my neck. “We can’t let him get away with this though. Shall we call the sheriff or do we pay that motherfucker a visit?”

Panic takes my breath away, making me tremble with the effort to keep breathing normally. “No. Please I don’t want you to do anything. Even if the sheriff believed me, my stepfather wouldfind a way to make this go away. He could get away with murder.”

Stefan’s hand moves to the back of my head, tilting my face up to make me look at him. “But we can’t not do anything.”

His eyes are full of determination, but also love, respect and compassion.

“I know it’s difficult to accept it,” I say. “But people like Evan and his father have connections that protect them from the consequences that normal people have to deal with. Even if one of them had killed Eddie, Trevor and Maura, I wouldn’t be surprised if they managed to cover it up. A part of me wishes that Evan had done it and we could prove it. But I couldn’t even get him to pay for assaulting me the first time. I’m under no illusion that things would be any different now. He would say it was consensual and that I like it rough. He would make people doubt me like he did three years ago. No, I think we should keep the deal we made with him. At least like that, Crew’s problem will be solved.”

Crew’s lips trace the shell of my ear, his fingers brushing my hair away. “Don’t worry about me, baby. It’s more important to get Evan to pay for what he did to you. No one hurts my girl and walks away scot free.”

They don’t understand. “He isn’t worth it.” I snap, frustrated. “All we would achieve if you guys kicked his ass like you want, is to get you a criminal record. Then Evan would have no obstacles to get what he wants.”

They can argue all they want, but they know I’m right.

“So what do you propose we do?” Jules asks.

“You let him drive that boat after he gives you that signed agreement. So Crew will be done with him and Evan will leave me alone.”

Jules shakes his head. “How can you believe he’ll honor any agreement after what he did to you tonight?”A muscle in his jaw is popping in the typical telltale sign that he’s furious.

If possible, his night has been worse than mine.

“He told me he would. He wanted to ‘seal the deal’ before he signed the agreement.”

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