Page 59 of Shameless

“Why did you think I wanted to break up with you?”

“I don’t know,” I say with a shrug, feeling like a complete moron. “You saidwe need to talk.I thought…”

Lula shakes her head. “You thought wrong. The only way to get rid of me, is if you dump me, Stef.”

Emboldened by her words, I tell her why I thought she wanted to end things between us. “Thank fuck. I’m sorry, but when Julesasked you to hang out with him, I thought… I don’t know what the fuck I thought.”

Lula lowers her gaze, suddenly hesitant. “No, I get it. Stef, I’m in love with Jules. He loves me too. I know you two don’t always get along but he’s a part of me, the same way you are. I don’t think I could stop loving either of you.”

A part of me is jealous.

I’ve always been jealous of Jules; of the way Lula has always looked at him.

A lot of things have changed this summer though.I have changed.

“I get it. I could never ask you not to love Jules, Jumps. Or Crew for that matter. I know he told you how he feels about you.”

Lula looks uncertain. “Really? I know you and Crew were willing to coexist, at least for a while. But things between you and Jules have always been more complicated.”

“Look,” I sigh. “Jules, Crew and I talked. We can’t guarantee what the future holds, but we all love you. If being with you means coexisting, we’ll have to find a way to do just that.”

Lula brings my knuckles to her face, dragging my rougher skin against the smooth slope of her cheekbone until it gets to her lips.

There’s something in the way she kisses each of my knuckles that makes my heart soar with the confidence that we’ll never be apart again. “Would you really do that for me?”

“Jumps,” I chuckle, cupping her face with both my hands and dragging her closer. “I just told you. I’d do anything for you. AndI’m pretty sure Jules and Crew feel the same way. So if you’re in, so are we. We’ll figure out how to make things work as we go along.”

Lula’s green eyes well up with unshed tears. “What about our families? Our friends? The rest of the world might not understand.”

She isn’t wrong and I’ve been giving it some thought too. “What about them? They’ll have to deal with it if they want to be in our lives. I’m not ashamed of us.”

There’s a beat of silence, as Lula takes in my words. “I love you so much, Stefan. Especially this new, shameless version of you. I’m all in. Even if it won’t be easy to get others to accept our relationship. Dad told me to stay away from you and Jules when I got here. He’ll hit the roof when he hears about this. Especially when it comes to you. I’ll have to talk to him.”

“Tom and I already talked,” I reassure her. “He doesn’t know about Crew and Jules, but he was surprisingly ok with our feelings for each other.”

I tell her about my conversation with her father just before we left Twinberry Cove.

“He was jealous?” she sounds shocked. “He’s my dad, and despite the distance between us in the past three years, I’ll always love him. My feelings for you are completely different.”

“That’s what I told him,” I agree. “Hopefully he’ll understand about Jules and Crew.”

Lula nods. “He’ll have to. Because you’re right. I’m not ashamed about my feelings for you guys either.”

I hug Lula tighter.

There are still hurdles in our way, but as long as Crew, Jules and I can work together to keep her safe, nothing else matters.

“I’m glad we had this talk, Jumps.” I smile, finally releasing her. “Now let’s eat. The sandwiches are just at the perfect temperature not to give us first degree burns, but we don’t want them to get cold.”

Lula takes one of the grilled cheese triangles on the plate and bites into it. “Oh my God,” she moans as she chews. “You make the best grilled cheese ever, Stef. But the conversation we just had isn’t what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“No?” I ask, setting my sandwich back on the plate. “What’s up then?”

Lula stops eating too, her forehead creased with worry. “It’s about what you just told the sheriff and the deal you made with him. Mason told me how they were using Star Thunders to smuggle drugs and launder money.”

“Yeah,” I confirm. “I heard him this morning. That’s why we talked to the sheriff. Eddie’s letter said he wants to keep working with Morelli, but he didn’t explain why. If I hadn’t heard what Mason told you, we would have gotten ourselves in so much fucking trouble.”

Lula grabs my wrist, suddenly tense. “I know. But I don’t like this deal with the sheriff. Mason made it clear before that no one walks away from his family or quits theirjob. His father and his uncle would even hurt him, if he tried to walk away. They aren’t going to let Star Thunders go so easily.”

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