Page 21 of Shameless

I roll my eyes. I’ve witnessed Tiff’s lectures to Lula my whole life. “A rich husband for Lula?”

Tom nods. “Bingo. If Lula and Evan had truly been dating, my ex-wife would have encouraged it.”

I still don’t get it. “But then why? Why did you pretend you didn’t believe her?”

“Because you know Tiffany. If I had argued with her version of the facts in any way, she wouldn’t have sent Lula here and I wanted to have her back. To protect her. I was afraid that if Lula knew I believed her, she would have confronted Tiffany. You know those two have always been like oil and water.”

I know. And Tom isn’t completely wrong that Lula would have gone on the offensive with her mother if she thought she had someone on her side.

“I get it, but it’s still fucked up.” I sigh.

Tom barks out a mirthless laugh. “Welcome to adulthood, Stefan. Life is fucked up. If you haven’t learned yet that things aren’t always black or white, you better catch up fast.”

Yeah, no shit.

“Why are you here, Tom?” I ask, realizing that he came from literally nowhere when he should be loading Mom and Tilly into his car and be already on the ferry back to the mainland.

“Because I need your help, Stef. Like you just said, Evan Johnston is a threat. Have you seen the way he was looking at Lula earlier? I need your help to make sure Lula has alwayssomeone by her side. We need to keep Evan away from her until either the police solve the case, and Tiffany and her stepson can go back East, or Howard’s campaign comes to an end he needs his props back for voting week.”

There’s no need to ask me that.

It goes without saying that I would protect Lula with my dying breath.

But I can’t resist the urge to poke the bear. “So after years of hating me and trying to keep me away from Lula, now you want me to stick closer to her? I guess you think I’mthe lesser of two evils, like you said before.”

Tom shakes his head, confused. “Hate you? What are you talking about? I don’t hate you.”

“Coulda fooled me,” I snort. “Come on, Tom. You have been giving me the stink eye every time I even smiled at Lula, since we were in diapers.”

Lula’s Dad lowers his gaze for a second, before meeting my gaze again. “I’m sorry about that, Stefan. I have no excuse except maybe one. I don’t expect you to understand until maybe one day, when you’re a dad yourself. I think Jules will probably know what I’m talking about.”

I roll my eyes again. “Right. I wouldn’t understand. Whatever.”

He sighs. “I’m gonna sound like a complete jerk and it’s hard to explain but I guess you could say I was jealous.”

This is getting weirder with every passing second. “Jealous? Of me?”

Tom nods. “You have to understand the feeling a man has when he holds his baby for the first time. Especially with a little girl? Man, it’s overwhelming. You’re responsible for that perfect little life that you made. You want to protect her and when she looks at you like you’re her whole world? You’re done for.”

I shrug. “It doesn’t sound that weird and you’re right, Jules described the way he feels about Jenna pretty much the same way. But I still don’t see what that has to do with me. I would never hurt Lula and I can’t believe you’d think that.”

“I wouldn’t.” Tom explains. “But put yourself in my shoes for a second. You and Lula were always together, even sleeping in the same crib the first summer Tiffany and I came to spend the summer with your family after Lula was born. She was literally just a couple of weeks old and you were only a handful of months older than her.”

“So? I still don’t get it.”

Tom looks at me with a lopsided smile. “I didn’t notice until the year after. The second you and Lula saw each other again, that was it. She looked at you the same way she looked at me. Actually, it wasn’t even comparable. Lula loved you more than anyone else in the world. And you loved her even more if possible. We even call her Lula because of you. Tiffany was adamant we’d call her Tally, but you were close to eighteen-months-old and you couldn’t say Tally. You used to cry every time any of us picked up Lula even to feed her or change her. You were literally joined at the hip. And this one time, Tiff picked Lula up from your crib and you started screamingNo, no, Lula. Lula. It stuck ever since.”

I’ve heard that story a few times. “Yeah, Mom told us so many times. I still don’t understand why that would make you jealous.”

Tom claps me on the shoulder. “At first it was just that you monopolized Lula for the entire summer. It was the only real time off I got with my family when college was on summer break and I would join Tiff and Lula in Star Cove. I kept telling myself that you were a kid and it was stupid to be jealous. Until a few years later. I think you were five or six. We were at the pier and you kids had gotten ice cream. Lula dropped hers and started crying. Naturally, I ran back to the ice cream stand to get her another one, but by the time I came back, you gave up your ice cream for her. I’ll never forget that I praised you for being so generous and offered you the new one. Do you know what you said to me?”

I think about it for a second. I have a vague memory of something like that, but it’s faded, like one of the old photographs from Mom’s childhood. With reddish, weird color and low definition. “Something like, I love her?”

Tom nods. “Yeah, you said that. And then you added‘One day I’m going to marry Lula.’”

I can’t help the grin that fights its way to the surface. “That sounds like something I would say. And I’m going to be honest, Tom. I couldn’t care less if you think I’m not good enough for Lula. I still feel the same way. One day I’ll marry your daughter.”

To my surprise, Tom laughs, squeezing my shoulder. “That was exactly why I started acting like a jealous jerk. I believed you, Stefan. I couldn’t stop thinking that you would marry Lula and since at the time my family was still based in New York, I felt likeyou’d take my daughter away from me. I know it’s irrational, but I couldn’t fight that feeling in the pit of my stomach.”

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