Page 111 of Shameless

Our parents are so focused on the cooking that no one notices the bag in my hands. I discreetly set it down under the table as I take a seat.

“Crew, would you like a beer?” Tom sets down a platter full of grilled meat in the middle of the table. “There’s a cooler full of light beer and a few microbrews from a new brewery in town that I’ve been excited to try. Jules, take one too. If Lula and Stefan want a beer or a wine cooler, today we’ve decided to pretend we’re in Europe. There’s no one under eighteen here, so one drink won’t kill anyone as long as you don’t plan on driving later.”

I decline politely, but accept the platter of steaks Arianna passes to me.

Lula, Stefan and Jules take a seat on my same side of the long, rectangular table, leaving our mom to sit on the other side and Tom at one end between Arianna and Lula.

Once everyone’s plates are full, Arianna lifts her glass of wine but stops short before the toast she was about to make. “Lula, Stef, are you guys ok? I can’t believe Tom just said you can have a drink and you’re not partaking. You always begged us to let you have a beer.”

Neither of them says anything in response. Silence descends on the table and I’ve never understood the expression “you could cut the tension with a knife” until this moment.

Mom looks at us, perturbed. “Is everything alright? Has anything bad happened? Is Jenna ok?”

Tom sets his fork back on his plate. “Yeah, what’s wrong? I’ve never seen you guys so quiet. And why are you all sitting in a straight line like that? It reminds me of the board of examiners when I tried to become president of faculty in New York.”

I exhale, trying to stay as calm as possible. “We were working on the new electric boat earlier with Tory and the team. We found this.”

I lift the black gym bag from the spot by my feet.

There’s no doubt that our parents are hiding something big, judging from their reactions.

Tom remains still, as if the sight of the bag had turned him into stone.

Mom covers her mouth with one hand and Arianna gulps the wine in her glass in one huge mouthful before getting a refill and drinking that too.

Tom is the first one to talk. “I assume you looked into the bag?”

Sometimes silence says more than a thousand words.

“It’s—it’s not what you think it is.” Mom’s voice is trembling.

Jules intervenes. “No? The blood on those clothes doesn’t belong to Eddie, Trevor and Maura? That phone doesn’t belong to Eddie?”

Arianna reaches for the bottle of white wine in front of her, taking it out from the ice bucket and decides to forgo the glass. “Then I guess it is what you think it is.” She drinks right from the bottle.

The sight shocks me more than anything else. I’ve seen Mom drink like that at her worst, right after Eddie left us, before she checked herself into rehab.

Arianna Cutler is usually composure personified.

She’s classy and poised and I’ve seen her send away a cocktail that wasn’t served in the right type of glass at the club.

Stefan takes the bottle from his mother. “Stop it. This isn’t the time to pretend we’re in Europe or on spring break or at a wild party. Are you seriously saying that one of you killed Eddie, Trevor and Maura Andrews?”

“That’s exactly what we’re saying.” Arianna says, looking straight at her youngest son.

“It’s all my fault. It was my idea.” Mom blurts out. “I stole that fancy shotgun from Tom’s bag while Tom and Arianna were…celebratingtheir anniversary in the private pool of their bungalow. I’m not very good at stealing though and Arianna caught me red handed.”

Jules and Stefan’s Mom nods. “Yeah, you’re not, sweetie. That’s why I decided you needed my help.”

Lula is looking at the other two women at the table like you watch a tennis match. “You did it together?”

The story they tell us is worse than anything our imagination could have fabricated.

“Eddie and I were sleeping together.” Mom says.

I don’t even try to bite my tongue. “Mom, are serious right now?”

She toys with the cut up steak on her plate, moving it nervously from side to side. “You don’t understand, Crew. Your father was my high school sweetheart. The only man I’ve ever loved.”

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