Page 107 of Shameless

What do I have to do to get the world to see this situation the way I see it? “It doesn’t matter, Gordon. Jenna doesn’t know any other father figure. And DNA doesn’t change the fact that I’ve loved and cared for that little girl from the second she took her first breath. Where’s the justice in taking one of her parents away from her?”

He sighs. “I don’t disagree with the merit of your position, Jules. It’s admirable that you want to step up even if you don’t have to. But my job as your attorney is to advise you against what will be a lengthy and costly legal battle with very little chance of success.”

I pinch the bridge of my nose, my head pulsing with the aggravation of this situation. “What about the fact that Jasmine has been using Jenna to extort money from me? She’s been lying to me and to my family, to the entire town for years. What does that say about her character? And she’s a terrible parent. She’s pregnant and yesterday she was drinking alcohol all day at the club. The entire fucking town saw her. I can get a number of people vouching to that. Does that mean nothing?”

Gordon repeats what he already said before Tory interrupted us. “You can sue her for damages. For all the money you paid her in child support since you separated. Maybe even for what you paid during your marriage since you married her under duplicitous circumstances. We can argue that the marriage would have never happened, had you not been told that Jasmine was pregnant with your baby. That definitely attests to your ex-wife’s character, but there’s a real chance it won’t help you get custody. Winning damages? Sure. If you press charges, we might have a case in criminal court for fraud. But the family court will still probably side with Jasmine since the two lawsuits will be separate.”

I can’t fucking believe this. “So they would rather leave my daughter with a fraudster who doesn’t care about her children's safety? Not even her unborn child?”

Gordon explains it like I’m Jenna. “First of all, the custody hearing will be happening faster than any civil or criminal suit. It’s usually urgent for the welfare of a minor, so those hearingshappen fast. If you sue your ex for damages and press charges, those cases could wait for years since the court’s dockets are always on a backlog. Even if we presented our complaints to the family court, that might still not give you the result you want. If Jasmine is found unfit to be a mother, the court might appoint another guardian or put Jenna in foster care. You don’t have any rights to her. Had you known she wasn’t your daughter, you could have adopted her while you were still married to her mother, but you had no reason to do that. One thing you could do is try to see if your ex is amenable to leaving the status quo unchanged and not remove you from Jenna’s birth certificate.”

I sigh. “I already tried. I called her first thing this morning to see if now that Jenna is doing better and the emergency is over, Jasmine could reconsider. She said no. She was actually driving to meet with her lawyer to get the ball rolling.”

Gordon’s final words are the nail in the coffin of any hope that there’s a way to fight Jasmine on this. “Then I’m afraid, my advice is unchanged.”

I don’t back down. “I still want to petition for custody.”

“You’ll lose, Jules.”

“I don’t care. Just do it.” I disconnect the call, swallowing the bitter taste this conversation has left in my mouth.

As usual Jasmine is thinking about what she wants and not what’s best for our daughter. Yes,our daughter. Learning that Jenna isn’t biologically mine doesn’t change how I feel for my little girl.

I refuse to think about what could have been if Jasmine hadn’t lied to me about her paternity. My life would have probably been simpler and I would have been at Harvard right now, possiblyentering the draft. There’s no way to know how my life would have turned out if I hadn’t married Jasmine.

I don’t regret one thing though. Not even the loveless marriage to my ex and certainly not my daughter.

The saying that everything happens for a reason in itself is complete bullshit, if you ask me. But there’s a nugget of truth in the fact that you can learn a lesson from most things in life.

I learned unconditional love from the moment I held Jenna in my arms. I learned not to take important things for granted and to fight for them with all I have.

In the end I believe you end up where you’re supposed to be.

Lula was always my destiny and maybe if I hadn’t been through what I have with Jaz, I would have never had the courage to follow my heart.

The fact that Stefan and Crew are involved just as deeply as I am is something that will take some work. Surprisingly they aren’t a deal breaker for me. What matters is that we make Lula happy.

As if summoned by my own thoughts, I see them walking down the dock toward the boathouse.

Stefan has his arm around her shoulders and Crew is flanking her other side. Napoleon is nestled in Lula’s arms.

A smile breaks on my face. This thought would have been crazy a week ago, but I’m glad they’re with her. Nothing bad can happen to her as long as we’re by her side, we would do anything to protect our girl.

Lula

They say that a killer always comes back to the scene of the crime.

I didn’t kill anyone last night, but I sure wish I had ended Evan’s miserable existence.

Now I have to come back to the boathouse where he almost raped me because I lost my phone.

I remember having it while I was looking for Jenna and using the flashlight to guide me as the club had turned off a lot of the lights to allow people to better enjoy the fireworks.

My phone was gone when I found Jenna and I needed to call an ambulance. The only reasonable explanation is that I must have dropped it when I was struggling with Evan.

Jules is right outside the boathouse. He looks engrossed in a phone call that ends a moment before we reach him.

By the way he shakes his head, clearly frustrated, I’m sure it has to do with Jasmine.

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