Page 110 of Sinful Lies

ZARA

My first ultrasound is tomorrow,and I’m yet to tell Dimitri about the pregnancy.

Nothing like waiting until the last possible second to share the news, but every time I’ve gone to tell him this week, my mouth has gone dry, and I couldn’t find the courage to admit the truth.

He thinks the nausea is down to the situation with Giovanni, and I’ve let him believe that out of selfishness.

No matter how many times Bianca assures me that Dimitri will be over the moon about becoming a father, I just can’t believe it to be true.

Perhaps I’m just self-sabotaging to try and protect my own heart from being shattered into a million pieces by the one man I never thought I would fall for.

But I’ve let myself run out of time. Tonight is the night I reveal the truth, and I just have to come to peace with the fact that I could lose Dimitri.

Raising a child together wasn’t part of the deal, and he has every right to walk away if he chooses to.

I won’t stop him.

Dimitri texted me earlier to let me know he would be home from his meetings at the Russian Tea Rooms around eight, so I spent the afternoon setting up a romantic evening for two.

I wanted to recreate my own version of the evening that he planned for me at that incredible restaurant as a way to share the news. So, I popped out during the afternoon to pick up an obscene amount of candles as well as some fresh flowers for the table and the most expensive bottle of red wine I could find, not that I can enjoy any of it. I also put in an order for his favorite carbonara dish from a small Italian restaurant around the corner as well as a double helping of their famous tiramisu for dessert.

It should be a perfect evening.

Once the food is delivered, I pop it in the oven to keep warm and get to work scattering the candles on every surface throughout the entire downstairs living area to make the large space seem more cozy.

With the huge floor to ceiling windows, the sight of the city lit up against the soft glow of the candles once the sun finally sets will be a sight to behold.

I finish off the table with some glasses for the wine—well, for him at least. I can pretend to drink until the moment I tell him—and straighten up the cutlery that I’ve laid out.

It’s not nearly up to the standard Dimitri set with hiring out an entire restaurant, but I hope he’ll appreciate the effort.

When it gets close to seven, I make my way up the stairs to start getting ready.

I’ve set aside another dark green dress as the color not only makes my eyes pop but it brings out the soft goldentones in my skin to counteract the dark circles that have taken up permanent residence beneath my eyes.

I’m almost tempted to slip on some sexy lingerie beneath my dress in case Dimitri is overjoyed by the news and wants to celebrate right there and then.

I root through the drawers in my closet, eyeing the many lacy pieces that were stocked prior to my arrival.

My cheeks heat at the skimpiness of some of the panties, but then I imagine what it would be like to have Dimitri rip them off me and take me right there on the dining room table, and my embarrassment soon turns to lust.

We haven’t slept together in almost two weeks because I’ve been feeling so ill with morning sickness, and my body is starting to crave that level of intimacy with Dimitri.

I want to lose myself in those moments with him, where nothing else matters except the pleasure that we give one another.

It's a pleasure that I never thought would be possible for me to experience. I thought I would always be too terrified to let myself fully submit to a man, to be able to relinquish complete control over my body.

But I was wrong.

Dimitri not only makes me feel so safe when I’m with him, but he brings out a level of confidence in me that I didn’t realize I had. He’s been everything I could have ever dreamed of, and I’m not ready to let him go.

I have loved waking up every morning wrapped in his arms over the past few days. I still jolt awake from the nightmares, but the moment I realize that Dimitri is the one holding me close, my body instantly relaxes, and I fall back into a dreamless sleep as he gently strokes my hair.

“Screw it.” I reach for a matching set of black lingerie. “Tonight is going to go justfine.”

A pang of guilt hits me for not having better faith in Dimitri.

He’s stuck by me even when he learned the truth of my past when many men would have run in the opposite direction, deeming me too broken to stick around for.

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