Page 6 of Dependable Cowboy

Then had come high school and hormones. For so long, she’d been sure that had been the catalyst that had made him ask her out. That and proximity. They were friends which meant that she was conveniently right there for the picking. She hadn’t thought about him that way, yet when he’d requested she go on a date with him, she’d said yes. She’d said yes again when he’d asked her to go steady. Mostly because it seemed like the logical next step.

But although she’d cared deeply for him, she hadn’t felt that spark, that spur of adventure and excitement that Wayne had brought her.

Not that sparks were the end-all be-all either, obviously.

So why couldn’t she end this fascination she seemed to have about Aaron’s life now? She could find out all about him if she wanted to. It wasn’t like her parents couldn’t fill her in. Her mom had always known everybody else’s business, and Joy was certain that hadn’t changed.

Yet, she didn’t ask. Didn’t inquire. And that wasn’t due to the strained relations between her and her folks, either. It was morebecause a part of Joy, a part not so insubstantial,didn’t wantto know.

Was afraid to know.

What if the sweet boy she’d once been so close to had become someone else? Someone she couldn’t relate to or understand? Almost automatically, she’d zeroed in on the third finger of his left hand. No ring. Not that that meant anything for sure. But it didn’t appear that he was married. He could be in a relationship, though. Could even be engaged.

Not that it mattered to her.

Why should it?

Thoughts of Aaron inevitably brought up thoughts of a youthful Wayne. She’d been so caught up with him, so lost in the whirlwind of their love. When he’d proposed six months after they met, she’d immediately said yes. Hadn’t hesitated for even a moment.

Yet it’d been her quick acceptance that had then placed a rift between her and her parents. They’d hated Wayne. Just straight up despised him. She never knew why. Other than being all up in arms about them not knowing one another long enough and being too young, that only made her more determined.

So what if Wayne hadn’t wanted to embark on a more traditional career path? He had dreams, enormous ones, and that was so much more thrilling than anything that ever occurred in Montana. That’s why she finished her beauty school certification and moved with him to California.

She and Wayne had incredible chemistry from the beginning, and she was certain he’d woo the Hollywood execs and have anacting job right off the bat. The glory, fame, and fortune never came.

When he became a server in the fine tradition of many famous people thinking that would be the answer, she’d encouraged him. Believed in him. She was thankful he was at least trying to bring in some money. He was working in an upscale place that catered to many VIPs and assumed he could charm or flirt his way into some great parts.

Then, Joy became pregnant. They were in no way prepared, but Wayne had been optimistic. His optimism had even rubbed off on her enough that she’d told her parents thinking that the news would end any animosity they might have toward her husband. She’d also thought they’d be happy to be grandparents, that they’d finally accept Wayne with open arms but that hadn’t worked out like she’d hoped.

What they’d done was beg her to come home and have the baby in Montana with them.

Which she’d of course refused to do. In hindsight, maybe she should have. Maybe it would’ve saved her a whole heap of trouble and torment.

Once Kara had been born, their debts rose substantially. It was like living in a pressure cooker. Wayne’s server pay wasn’t enough, and Joy was so thankful to find work as a hair stylist on a soap opera set. She hoped it might allow her to make some connections for Wayne, but that didn’t pan out.

They limped along financially, Wayne saying over and over that his big break had to be just around the corner. It had to be. Only it wasn’t. It’d been five years later when Joy caught him with the drugs.

His behavior became erratic and unpredictable. He’d always been high strung, but this was different. He became angry to the point of being verbally abusive. He spent their money on what she suspected was his habit rather than necessary bills. And right before Kara’s seventh birthday, he went missing.

Living with the mystery of her husband’s disappearance hanging over her like a thundercloud left her not sure what to do.

It’d been over a year since she’d last heard from her husband. Her mind went wild with speculation about what had happened. It was hard to believe that he’d abandon his daughter. So she really didn’t know what to think.

His drug abuse had gotten worse and Joy wasn’t even sure what his drug of choice had been. She didn’t really care, since no matter what it was he was dependent on it.

She’d been just about to kick him out. She didn’t want drugs or his abusive behavior around their daughter. Even now, Joy couldn’t believe thathe’dbe willing to have it around their daughter. He’d been a doting father, once upon a time. When Kara was a baby and toddler, he’d nurtured her, loved her.

At first Kara asked questions about where her father was and Joy didn’t have any answers. She couldn’t tell her the truth—she’d never put that kind of adult issue on the shoulders of a child to handle. At first she’d say that daddy had work to do so he was away for a few days. Then finally Kara’s questions just stopped. Joy was sad for her daughter, but thankful for a reprieve.

She had no clues about where he was or what had happened. No calls. No texts. No emails. No note of any kind. Nothing.

So, despite filing a missing person’s report with the LAPD, despite posting his professional actor’s headshot all over socialmedia, on people searching sites, and even on old-fashioned paper posters she’d had printed up, no sign of Wayne Randall had been found.

It was as if he’d dropped off the face of the Earth.

It felt as baffling today as it had when it’d first happened. And she’d done everything she could think of to locate him. She went through all the emotions until one day she was just empty. Tired of searching, worrying, wondering. She felt oddly relieved when she decided to move back here. What other choice did she have?

When it was time to tell Kara about their move, Joy felt like she had to tell her daughter something about her father, so she was brief but honest.

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