Page 8 of Reverse Perspective

“Go,” Lance seethes.

“I suggest you leave unless you want me to let go of her,” Dean says. This threat does the job because she huffs and walks back to the parking lot. Lance takes me from Dean and wraps me in a hug.

“I’m sorry, Sadie,” he says quietly.

“It’s okay,” I sigh. He pulls away to cup my chin before turning my face so he can look at my cheek.

“Damn,” Todd says simply.

“That was… I think we should call it for the day and go get some lunch,” Mason says. “Sadie, are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” I say simply.

The way Lance is looking at me right now mixed with what Todd said about them loving me is fucking with my head and giving me hope that I have no business having. I will only ever be like a sister to them. That’s how it’s always been and how it always will be.

I pull away and grab my stuff off the table. “I’m going to the truck,” I say simply. I am still so fucking angry that she slapped me, but I am suddenly filled with fear of losing my friends because of how he just looked at me.

This only solidifies that I need to get away from them and find my own way without them. The thought of not having them in my life is physically painful, but it has to be done if I’m going to survive. If I get too much hope, I’ll only hurt worse later when I am ultimately rejected.

When the guys get into the truck, no one talks to me as I drive us to our usual diner for lunch. When we get inside, I sit between Todd and Jake to avoid sitting with any of the guys. I need space because it hurts to have them looking at me like I am the most special girl in the world when we all know I’ll never be to them what I want to be. I’ll never be the one they wish to wake up with. I won’t be the one they crave to touch when they need a release. I’ll always just be one of the guys. I’ll go down as the girl that hung out when she wasn’t really wanted around.

I don’t talk through lunch and I pick at my food, but end up not eating at all. I have a thousand different thoughts swirling in my head and it’s all surrounding one thing. Why am I alone? What is the real reason I have never found the right person to have sex with? Angela said I would never put out, almost as though she knew I’ve never had sex. I give and receive oral, but that’s it. That’s not even by choice. I don’t even think the guysknow I’m a virgin at twenty-eight. Most people would assume it’s because I grew up Southern Baptist, but it’s not. I’m not even sure I believe in God, and if there is a God, I doubt he is going to send me to hell for having sex before I’m married when there are priests who touch little boys. God has so much more to be worried about than how I have an orgasm.

By the time we get home, I am so emotionally drained that I need to be alone. I leave the guys in the truck and go inside before they can stop me. I can see it on their faces that they are worried about me.

I go to my room and gather what I need to take a shower. When I turn, the guys are in my doorway watching me. “What?” I ask.

“We just wanted to check on you,” Mason says.

“I’m fine,” I lie. “I’m going to take a shower before Alex gets here.”

“Alright,” Lance frowns.

“You could just skip the shower,” Mason laughs.

“Oh, wouldn’t that be attractive,” I say as I step past them. “That would add to my growing list of reasons I’m alone.”

“Sadie,” Lance says with a sigh. I step into the bathroom and shut the door before they can say anything else.

Chapter two

Lance

I am sitting onthe couch with Mason and Dean when Sadie walks with Alex back to her room. She is smiling as they talk, not looking at us even for a moment. “I don’t like him,” I say when her bedroom door shuts.

“None of us do,” Mason says, matching my mood. “All he’s going to do is use her and leave her. He’s done that to every girl he’s dated.”

“I wouldn’t even consider it dating,” Dean says. “He sticks around long enough to get his dick wet then never talks to them again.”

“I’m going to break his fucking legs if he hurts her,” I say. I close my eyes and lay my head back.

“I can’t figure out where her head went with the Angela bullshit,” Mason says. “Also, what the fuck were you thinking bringing her here? You know damn well that Angela was going to do what she could to hurt Sadie.”

“She fucking swore she would shut the fuck up this time. I didn’t realize Sadie could hear. She’s never said she could hear,” I explain. “Also, I didn’t know we woke her. She never said anything.”

“Well… Find some other whore to fill the void. Sadie is going to end up killing her,” Dean says. “She’s fucking strong when she’s angry.”

“I won’t lie,” Mason says with a grin. “That was kinda hot when she punched Angela.”

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