Page 64 of Reverse Perspective

“I’d hope so at least,” I say. “I’m sorry that happened to you.”

“Me too. I was close to him like you were with Leo. The only difference is, he was my next-door neighbor.”

“Oh fuck,” I say.

“Mhmm. I saw him every single day until I left for college,” she says. “The pain will never go away, Sadie. It will hurt every single time you think about it, but over time you’ll learn how to navigate the pain so that it’s bearable. We are all here to make sure that you know you don’t have to navigate it alone. You are a survivor, baby. We both are.”

“What about getting triggered by dumb shit?” I ask.

“Oh, that’ll get easier too. Just keep reminding yourself that you are safe. Never ignore your gut feeling, but just keep it in your head that you are safe. Use the guys as a safety net. They are your backbone when you are too weak to stand up. Let them do the heavy lifting when you can’t stand, but never stop getting back up. Let them keep pulling you up, because eventually, you will learn how to pick yourself up. There’s absolutely no reason you should face this alone when you have a room full of people who want to help you.”

“Thank you,” I say.

“You’re welcome,” she smiles.

“Let’s go sit, I guess,” I say to Mason, Dean, and Lance.

We move to the front porch and when we are alone I turn to Todd. “I want to do it,” I say.

“I’m sorry?” he asks, confused.

“Paul. I want him dead,” I say. “He’s going to do it again and again. He will never leave me alone until he’s dead. I will happily risk prison if it means I never have to feel that way again.”

“Are you sure?” Dean asks.

“Yeah,” I say. “I’m not asking for anyone’s help. I’m just saying I want him dead.”

“Well, we would help you, but you need to make sure you can live with yourself tomorrow if we do this,” Lance says.

“I’d rather live as his murderer than as his victim,” I say bluntly.

“You’re not a victim, Sadie,” Mason says. “You survived him.”

“Oh, but he won’t survive me,” I say bluntly.

Yesterday I decided that I would kill my rapist. I should feel nervous, but I don’t. We talked for hours last night after everyone left about how to do this. We decided that the cabin was the best place. That camp was his downfall at every turn. It bankrupted him and he hurt me there. I get my revenge in the place he deserves to die and it will easily be labeled as a suicide.

We decided that the guys and Todd would go ahead of Stacy and me to get everything set up. By the time we walk into the cabin, he should be on the chair with the rope around his neck.My only job is to come in there and give him a choice. Suicide and keep power or let me kill him.

“Ready?” Stacy asks me.

“Yes,” I reply simply. She puts the car in park and we both get out. “God, I fucking hate this place.”

“Yeah. It’s creepy as fuck, for one,” she says.

We walk to the cabin and when we walk in, I smile. Maybe that makes me a sociopath when seeing a man with a rope about his neck makes me happy, but I’ll accept it.

“You stupid little bitch,” he barks at me.

“Well, that’s not very kind of you,” I say. “I thought you’d be happy to see me.”

“You won’t get away with this, you know,” he says.

“Yes, I will. You wanna know why?” I ask.

“Why?”

“Because you’re going to kill yourself,” I say.

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