Page 87 of The Break Out

“I know, I just,” she takes a shaky breath, burying her head tighter against me. “I want a real family.”

Her words are like a dagger to my chest. I lost my family the day I lost my brother, and there have been times I wished for the same thing, but I can tell it’s not in the same way as Brynn. I don’t think she’s ever had the family she wants.

“You do. You have your siblings. You have Chandler and your friends. That counts as family.”

She shakes her head. “No. I don’t have my siblings. I have Brent, yeah, but Bryson barely talks to me, he is so focused on his own life, acting like he’s having fun partying and doing things I don’t even want to know about. Bailey doesn’t talk to any of us anymore. She used to, but it became less and less and now I feel like she’s doing everything she can to distance herself from all of us to forget we even exist. I know I have my friends, but it’s not the same. I,” she sighs. “I don’t want to be so broken.”

“You’re not broken. You could never be broken,” I tell her seriously.

My words only make her cry harder, and all I can do is hold her.

When her crying slows, I hear her soft voice speak almost too quiet for me to hear, “You’re not who I thought you were.”

I don’t have it in me to tell her, that’s not true. I’m exactly who she thought I was, but because of her that’s changing because now I want to be a man who actually deserves her. Theonlyman that deserves her.

39

It’s New Year’s Eve and my brother is hosting a party at his house for the whole team and their significant others for the holiday. I tried to tell him I didn’t fall into either category, but he said I’m family and that counts.

I haven’t seen Colton since he left after our emotional conversation the day after Christmas. We’ve texted, but he’s been busy with hockey and for the first time I didn’t want the distance from him. Something changed that morning and I know there’s no going back.

Yesterday while we were texting, I asked about the New Year’s party.

Brynn: Did Brent invite you to the party tomorrow?

Colton: Unfortunately, last I checked I’m on the team, so yeah, he did.

Brynn: You can knock off the act, I know you don’t mind yournew team now.

Colton: I better see you there. I need to taste you again. And my cock misses you.

Brynn: Just your cock?

Colton: I guess the rest of me may miss you too.

I smiled at our exchange, though I didn’t know what to say back. I miss him too, but my fear holds me back from telling him. I feel like once I say something that shows how I’m really feeling about him everything is going to explode in my face.

I get to the house early because I want to see Evie and make sure Chandler doesn’t need any help beforehand. She has all three of the guys put to work setting things up while she cares for their child. Audrey is directing all the guys like a drill sergeant and I’m pretty sure her boyfriend is just drooling over her instead of whatever he’s supposed to be doing.

Spencer said she was coming with Jared and I’m excited to spend some time with her, but I can’t deny that I also want to sneak off with Colton at some point.

“Matt, what the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Audrey snaps just as I walk into the living room.

“Moving the table where you told me to,” Matt replies, his tone extremely annoyed.

“No, I told you to put it over there.” She points to a corner. “That’s the other direction. You get hit in the head with the puck lately?”

“Mann not fucking you good enough? Because you’re being a real b–”

“Finish that sentence McQuaid I fucking dare you,” Charlie chimes in, wrapping an arm around Audrey’s shoulders.

“Don’t be mad because you don’t know how to listen,” Vince says to Matt, shaking his head.

“Okay fuck all of you.” Matt points around the room.

“Just put the table where she told you to, it’s not that fucking hard.” Vince rolls his eyes before resuming setting up the kitchen island.

“Who put you in charge anyway?” Matt grumbles, picking up the table once again.

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