Page 86 of The Break Out

She swallows roughly, and I give her hand a squeeze. “But I need you to have some clothes on because you’re too fucking tempting lying next to me with your sweet pussy so close.”

Chuckling, she rolls her eyes and moves to get off the bed. I watch her bare back as she stretches her arms up and continue to watch as she gets up and goes to her dresser tograb clothes. I can’t help but think about how my cum is still inside her and how I want nothing more than to fill her up again.

But this is more important. She needs to know everything if there’s any chance of this becoming more than just sex. I want her to know me. Then, maybe she‘ll let me know more of her as well.

She’s in an oversized hoodie, some cotton shorts, and fuzzy socks as she curls up on her living room couch. I threw on my t-shirt and boxers to join her. I can see her nerves written all over her face, and I’m not sure if it’s because she’s afraid of how I’ll react considering what happened when I found her looking at the picture of Josh and me. I never react well when people learn about him. I’m protective of him, even now, and I never know how to talk about him.

Brynn wraps her arms around her legs that are up by her chest, and she waits for me to talk.

I sigh. “Josh is my younger brother,” my mouth already feels dry, “he died when he was ten.”

She hugs her legs tighter, and I already see the pain on her face. “What happened?” her voice cracks.

Running my hand through my hair as I prepare to tell a story I have never told anyone before.

“He was born with a heart defect that required him to have surgery right after he was born. It was a success at the time and growing up he got to have a normal life. We would play hockey, though my parents didn’t like it because it was too dangerous for him according to them. I was four years older, and never playedtoo rough, but I also never let him win.” I smile at the memories of us playing together.

“When he was nine, it got worse. He needed a transplant and was put on the list and would always say he would get his new heart. We talked about all the things we could do with his new heart. Even as he grew weaker, he was so determined to get that heart.” I shake my head. “He didn’t get one. His heart grew weaker until it just couldn’t handle it anymore and he had to let go.”

Brynn’s eyes are filled with tears that match my own. I want to pull her into my arms and hold her, but I need to finish first.

“He told me to live for him. Those were the last words he said to me, and it’s something I promised I would do. That’s why I have the words tattooed over my heart, a constant reminder of that promise.”

Tears fell down her cheeks, and I pulled her into my lap because mine are about to do the same and I want her as close as possible to me. She doesn’t fight it, instead, she wraps her arms around my neck as she melts into me, and she cries against my shoulder.

I don’t fight my own tears as they fall like I usually do, because right now my main concern is comforting her.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers.

“No need for you to be sorry,” I tell her.

She pulls back, wiping her eyes as she looks at me. The green irises seem so much brighter from her tears, and I can’t help but wipe the wet remnants of her grief for me from under her eyes.

“I lost my brother too,” she whispers so softly, almost like she doesn’t want me to hear her.

“What?”

“Three years ago. My older brother.”

“I thought it was just Brent and you?”

She shakes her head. “No. We have two other brothers and a sister. Well, I guess we had two other brothers. Bryson, Brandon, and Bailey.”

“Why do you all have B names?”

That makes her chuckle lightly, “Not sure, my parents were always drunk or high so I’m sure it had something to do with that.”

Her statement surprises me. I figured the Collees came from privilege like a lot of us have. My parents may have neglected me after Josh was gone, too lost in their own grief it’s like they forgot I even existed. But there’s no denying I had access to anything and everything I wanted and needed.

“What happened?” I ask, brushing her hair behind her shoulder, gripping the back of her neck and rubbing gently.

“Brandon always struggled with things. Brent practically raised us because he’s the oldest, but those two were only two years apart and never got along. I don’t know when Brandon turned to drugs exactly, but I know he never turned back.” She’s crying again and I wipe the tears streaming down her face because I want to just take all her pain away.

“I tried to help, I wanted to help so badly. I wanted Brent to help. I know he did what he could, but I just wish there was something that could have saved him.”

Her sobs start and I pull her closer, burying her head in my shoulder, just holding her as she cries. I may have wanted there to be more for Josh, the anger I had about him not getting a heart in time has consumed me before, but at the end of the day I know there was nothing we could do. I can’t imagine how she feels thinking maybe her brother could have been helped.

“Addiction is a disease, baby, an awful disease and there’s nothing you could have done if he wasn’t going to put in the work,” I try to soothe her.

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