Page 76 of The Break Out

“You ready to go home?” he asks, and my shoulders that I didn’t even realize were hiked up, deflate.

I thought maybe he would share something with me. Share a part of himself with me that could show that he’s a human under his tough exterior. A human with feelings and that those feelings could maybe be shared with another person. But he doesn’t. He shuts down just like I do, which is why I can’t even be upset about it.

The only thing I can say is, “Yeah.”

He doesn’t follow me when I go back to his bedroom to change back into my clothes. Though part of me wants to keep his t-shirt on, I reluctantly change back into my own sweater. When I walk out to find Colton, I see him staring at the painting in his living room again. I don’t think he notices me yet, so I just take a second to look at him.

His light brown hair is slicked back and slightly damp from the shower he clearly took after practice. I can see the bulge of his muscles underneath his hoodie as his arms are crossed acrosshis chest. The sweatpants he’s wearing hug his thick thighs. While his body is mouthwatering as always, I’m drawn to his eyes staring at the splattered colors. His silver eyes look conflicted while lost in thought.

I shift on my feet, and a floorboard creaks, making myself known. He looks over at me, but the look on his face doesn’t change.

“You ready?” His tone is flat.

“Yeah.”

We go to his garage and I’m a little surprised he still wants to take his motorcycle; I figure he would want some distance from me with the way he’s acting. Even after he helps put my helmet on and we’re on the bike I try not to be plastered against him, but he grabs the backs of my knees and pulls me forward so I’m as close to him as possible.

When I wrap my arms around his middle, I rest my helmet against his back and try not to think about how disappointed I would be if this was the last time I got to feel him.

We get to my apartment sooner than I would like but I pretend like I’m okay like I always do. I’m standing when I hand my helmet to him, and he has taken his off as well and takes mine.

“See ya around I guess,” I say when the silence between us has gotten awkward.

I turn to walk away, but I’m stopped with a warm hand on my wrist. He doesn’t say anything, just pulls me back toward him.

Giving him an expectant look because he’s giving me mixed signals right now, I realize I should probably apologize, and I start to do just that when he finally speaks.

“I’m not mad at you.”

“You seem like it,” I retort, automatically regretting it. I don’t mean to be bitchy with him. I’m the one who messed up here.

He just shakes his head. “I’m not, I just,” he sighs, “I don’t talk about him. With anyone.”

I can’t help it; I close the small distance between us so I’m standing right in front of him as he still straddles the bike. Lifting my hand, I brush my fingers through his hair softly.

“Maybe you should,” I tell him. Fully realizing the giant hypocrite I’m being right now. “It could help.”

“If I don’t talk about him, then sometimes I can pretend he’s still here.” His deep voice sounds so vulnerable, and it makes my heart crack for this giant man in front of me.

“I understand. I really do,” I agree. I never forget that Brandon is gone, but if I don’t think about things too deeply, or talk about them I can pretend my family isn’t so broken.

He brings his hand up to the back of my neck, pulling me down the couple inches to meet his mouth in a gentle kiss. Just a simple pressing of lips. His tongue teases mine slightly when I open for him, but everything about this kiss is delicate. Even his grip on the back of my neck isn’t rough, but more comforting.

“Come to my game tomorrow.” It’s not a question, but I nod anyway.

With another kiss I’m tempted to invite him inside, but I know that’s not a good idea. Clearly, we are both in weird headspaces now and I’m still not supposed to want him. We break apart and he gives my neck one final squeeze before letting me go. I instantly miss the warmth, and only grow colder each step I take away from him and I don’t even think it has anything to do with the weather.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Princess. I want to see you in a jersey, preferably mine,” he calls after me and the side of my mouth kicks up in a smile, noticing his teasing is back.

“You’ll get what you get, Wheeler. You’ll be lucky if I even show up,” I sass.

He smiles, pulling his helmet over his head and kicking the bike into gear. I turn to walk into my building when I hear him rev the engine and then take off. Finally feeling like I can catch my breath.

One thing is for sure, there’s no way I can show up tomorrow wearing his jersey. We both know it, but I do have an idea that might make it fun to mess with him a little bit.

“Brynn!”Audrey greets as I step into the friends and family suite at the Dragon’s game. She’s wearing one of Charlie’s jerseys like a dress with black boots that reach over her knees.

“You look amazing,” I tell her. I wish I had the confidence to pull off what she’s wearing. Since I’m on the taller side even anoversized jersey would be way too short on me. Which is why I have leggings under the Collee jersey I’m wearing, paired with black ankle boots.

---