Page 78 of The Power Play

“Where else would you like to play?”

“I think I’d like to play for any Canadian team if I had to pick anywhere else. Or maybe in Washington, it’s gorgeous there.”

I nod in response and for some reason the thought of him having to leave to play for a different team hits me in a way I don’t like.

We are fully holding hands now and I’m not panicking. I’m not rushing to pull apart. I’m not uncomfortable. In fact, I kind of like it and it is only solidifying the feelings that are building inside of me. The ones I keep continuously pushing down. And it’s not even because I’m afraid of getting hurt. What I told Charlie before is true, I don’t want anyone to have the power to control me. But it’s not just that, with him my fear is hurting him.

Because a man like him is too sweet and too good for a woman like me, and I know it’s just a matter of time before I break his heart.

30

Neither of us acknowledge the fact that we are holding hands through the remainder of our walk. The tough subject aside, our conversation has been a bit more surface level and it’s been nice. I feel like I’m seeing a side to Audrey that not a lot of people see. She’s carefree and so fucking beautiful it almost hurts to look at her for too long because then I’m tempted to kiss her again.

And when we kiss, God, I just want to fall into her every single time. I want to be completely consumed by her in every way possible. I’m so far gone for her I don’t see myself being able to turn around. Which is why I ended up inviting her to Thanksgiving. Though, what I said about my mom is partly true. But really, I invited her because I couldn’t stand the thought of her spending the holiday in my condo all alone when she should be next to me at my family’s table.

I’m breaking every rule she set in place about feelings, and I don’t even care.

We finally make our way back to my car as the sun is setting and I take her to the next destination, which is dinner. It’s one of my favorite pizza places that is up this far north so I don’t get to go that often.

Our conversation continues to stay light and I’m having such a good time with her, making her laugh is probably my new favorite thing to do. And she does it so freely. It’s amazing when I really think about how the woman in front of me has consumed my mind for the last four years and I didn’t even really know her.

And now that I do, she has me in the palm of her hand.

“What are you thinking right now?” she asks playfully as we wait for our waitress to bring back my card after I insisted on paying.

My answer is anything but playful, but I know that if I were to tell her the truth then she could shut down the fun atmosphere we have going and run away out of fear.

“Just appreciating how fucking gorgeous you are,” I say, giving her a half truth.

She leans back in her chair and taps her stomach. “Yeah? Watching me devour three massive slices of pizza really got you going?”

“You’ve found another one of my kinks, what can I say?” I joke.

She leans forward on the table and lowers her voice, “Well, I think we need to discover evenmore.”

“Whatever you want, pretty girl.”

For my laststop of the day, now that the sun is completely set, I drive us up to lookout mountain. I used to come up here a lot at night to just take in the lights of Denver. I’ve never brought anyone up here with me before.

Audrey hops out of the car and walks around to the hood to get a better view. I follow and when I step up behind her, I wrap my arms around her middle, resting my chin on top of her head. She melts back into me, and I tighten my hold.

It’s only us up here, and we are so high up the sounds of the bustling city below are muted. The lights sparkle against the night sky and yet my mind is only focused on the woman in my arms.

“I had a really good day today,” she says softly.

“Me too,” I graze my lips against her hair.

Audrey turns around in my arms, wrapping hers around my torso and looking up at me. “Thank you.”

I run the pads of my fingers across her jaw, then tangle them in the hair on the back of her head. Bringing my face down to hers I don’t kiss her yet. I just linger with our lips almost touching, our breaths mingling together as I take her in.

There’s so much I want to say to her. So much that will scare her off and I would rather jump off this cliff than scare her away in any way, so instead of saying any of the many things I’m thinking I whisper, “You’re welcome.” Before sealing my mouth to hers.

Unlike our kiss at the lake, this one is unhurried and passionate. She opens for me almost instantly to deepen the kiss and I do. Thoroughly running my tongue along hers and pouring everything I want to portray to her in our kiss.

I want you.

I want to keep you.

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