Page 65 of The Power Play

“What brings you here this evening?” she asks, sitting back on the couch, tucking her legs underneath her.

“Obviously seeing your beautiful self, what else?”

She chuckles, “Are you saying you missed me?”

“And if I am?”

I see her hesitate at that. She wasn’t expecting me to agree and the drop in her character is noticeable. I know I’ve stepped over an invisible line. I was walking a thin one with her lately because she freaked out the other day and I tried to make her feel better, but this isn’t doing that.

She sighs and looks down, brushing off her leg, but I don’t think anything was there.

“Char–” she starts, but I cut her off.

“Lacey,”I bring her back to this moment. Here. As our personas because I know she was about to call me Charlie. “What would be so bad about me missing you?”

“It would mean you are getting attached and I don’t want to hurt you,” she murmurs, not looking at the camera.

“We went over this. I’m a big boy, and you’re not going to hurt me. I know what we are doing and I’m happy with it. Aren’t you?”

“Yeah, I mean, it’s fun. I can’t be your forever.”

“I’m not asking you to be.”

“But you miss me.”

“Are you saying there’s not a single part of you that misses me? Because if not that’s okay, but if you say no then I also know you’re lying.” I want to move the camera so she can see my face, but I won’t. I feel like this may be easier if she can’t see me.

“I mean,” she sighs again, this time in defeat. “Yeah, part of me kind of misses you.”

“See, that’s not so hard, is it?”

“No, I just…I really meant what I said. I don’t do relationships. Ican’t.”

“Why? You say that, and that’s fine. But you haven’t told me why.”

“I wouldn’t be good at it. I like my freedom. I like being able to do whatever I want, be whoever I want to be. I don’t want anyone taking that away from me. I had my entire life controlled to the point of suffocation until I was eighteen. I refuse to give anyone that power again.” She doesn’t look up the entire time she speaks. Almost like she can pretend I’m not here.

“I think the right relationship wouldn’t be controlling. Whoever you’re with should build you up, not try to hold you down.”

“Well, I’m not sure if that’s possible and I don’t want to get hurt or hurt anyone while trying to figure it out.” I hear the words she’s not saying.I don’t want to hurt you.

“Listen,” I start, and she finally looks back up to the screen. Even though she can’t see my face she’s looking at me. I’m tempted to move the camera up, but I’m wanting to keep us in this bubble for the duration of this conversation. “I’m not trying to push you for more. I like what we are doing. I want to keep doing it. What about you?”

She nods slowly, “I like what we are doing too.”

“So, let’s not think too much about it. Let’s not freak out and let’s just enjoy what this is, okay?”

Her lips quirk slightly. “Okay.”

“Good. Also, I don’t think it’s controlling for me to say that I can’t stand the thought of another man touching you while we are doing whatever this is,” I think about the night at the club. That asshole’s hands on her. We may not have a label or be exclusive, but I need that out there.

She hesitates before responding and when she does it’s so quiet, I almost miss it, “I don’t want anyone else to touch me anyway.”

We move on from the heavy conversation, now that the air is cleared between us everything turns more playful. I’m keeping her in the call longer than usual, but I don’t want to let her go and she doesn’t seem to be complaining.

Plus, I’m paying and I know she’s making a good chunk of money from me right now, but that’s okay. I would hand over my entire bank account to her if she would accept it.

Because that’s a totally casual, okay with this situation, thought.

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