Page 90 of The Power Play

I can’t help but scoot closer to her, hating the distance, hating seeing her like this, hating what she’s already saying. I take her hand that’s tracing patterns on the couch cushion next to her on my own, wanting to ground her.

“Then what?” I ask softly.

Audrey meets my eyes once again, “I was abused by my parents, badly, which I told you. And today she tried to tell me thatIwas the reason for my abuse. That I asked for it.”

“What?!” I exclaim. “That’s not true, you know that’s not true, Audrey.”

She shakes her head, “I know it’s not. I’m aware of what she was doing. It just brought back everything, and I hate that one visit from her has me spiraling so bad.”

“I’m here. You don’t have to spiral alone.”

Her eyes drop again, and she continues sharing, “I remember the day I moved in with my grandparents. It was like a dream compared to my parents’ house. My grandma was your typical grandma, she had cookies made and everything,” her lips quirk, but I’m sure it’s not because of happiness, more so the irony that she was so wrong about her family member. “That first Sunday we went to church. I liked that she got me a brand-new pretty dress to wear and was so excited. I’d never been to church before. When we got there, I was so bored. I didn’t know the songs or understand anything that was being said.

“Then, when we got home, my grandma told me I had lots of sins to be forgiven for and locked me in the closet. It just got worse as I got older. I couldn’t watch the shows or movies my friends did, or read the books. Because they were the works of the Devil. I couldn’t wear what I wanted. Then every. Fucking. Sunday. I was dragged into that church and spent the entire time digging my nails into my thighs to prevent myself from screaming. I left the first moment I could.”

I sit by her frozen by her confession. I figured it was bad, I didn’t know it wasthisbad.

“So, naturally, I rebelled when I left, and I’ve been doing what I want ever since, which is the exact opposite of anything she would have wanted for me. But jokes on her, Ilovemy life. Ilove what I do, and I don’t give a shit what anyone thinks about me or my job.”

“As you should. Youshouldbe proud of everything you’ve done and who you are because you’re fucking amazing and no one should be able to take that away from you,” I tell her, confidently.

Audrey looks up at me and I see the pain written all over her face. “Thank you for saying that, but you don’t have to. I know I’m a mess. My whole life is a mess. I’m essentially homeless and currently running away from my demons. Don’t think you have to stick around just because I’m staying here. I don’t want you to feel pressured and I can always leave.”

“Stop. Iwantyou here, understand?” I snap.

She shakes her head, “You don’t have to, though, I completely get it. It’s been fun and carefree with us living in this fantasy of who you thought I am, but don’t feel pressure to stick around now that you know the truth.”

“No,” I say louder than I mean to, and she jumps, I pull her onto my lap so she’s straddling me and I cup her face in my hands forcing her to look at me. “Listen to me right now. You arenotpulling away from me, that’s not what we are doing. I’m telling you the fucking truth and you have me. You fucking have all of me, Audrey, don’t you get that? You’re stuck with that and if you want to get rid of me, you’re going to have to try a hell of a lot harder than this to do so. And you’d have to actuallymean it.”

“Charlie,” she sighs, but I don’t let her continue.

“No. You made me fall in love with you and now I can’t go back,” her mouth drops at my confession, and I’m a little surprised how easily it poured out of me. But before she canfreak out about what I just said, I continue. “You told me before that when you’re feeling out of control you need a way to regain it. So do it. You need the control? Take it from me. Take whatever you need from me, Audrey. But you’re not pulling away from me, from us. I’m fucking yours, so do what you need to do. Take it.”

I feel like I’ve gone completely insane, but I don’t care. She needs to understand that I’m here to stay, no matter what she thinks. This isn’t temporary with me, it never was. I can sense her hesitation at my confession, and I think she’s going to double down on pushing me away. Or worse, try to refute me saying that I’ve fallen for her.

But she doesn’t. I see the moment she decides, steels her spine and looks directly at me, control back in place. The confident Audrey I know sitting in front of me once again. She moves her eyes over my frame without saying anything. When her eyes meet mine again, she lifts an eyebrow.

“You sure about that?” she asks.

“Completely.”

“Okay.”

35

Ididn’t know what else to say. I’m completely spiraling and feeling more out of control than I ever have since I left. And to prove that Charlie knows me way too well, he suggested the one thing I need. The thing that will help break me from the spiral and gain back my control.

And he admitted to falling in love with me.

I really didn’t know what to say to that. I still don’t.

So, instead of thinking about it further, I’m doing exactly what I need, and we will see if he still thinks he loves me.

Standing up from the couch, I look down at Charlie who is still sitting, waiting for me to tell him what I want him to do.

“Go to your room, and get naked,” I tell him, without emotion.

He nods, standing up staying close to me, our chests almost brushing. While I’m trying to keep all my emotions pushed away, his are written all over his face. His fear of losing me and the fact that he was telling the truth on how he feels. For amoment I think he’s going to kiss me, but he doesn’t. Instead, he walks past me toward his room.

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