Page 116 of The Hat Trick

“Are you okay?” she asks then shakes her head. “No, of course you’re not. That was a stupid question. What do you need?”

I stare at my phone, willing one of the guys to call me, even though I know they won’t, and I just shake my head at her. “I don’t know.”

“Should we go there?” she asks.

“No, it won’t help, it could make everything worse, actually.”

“True, fuck, Chan, who would do this to you guys?”

“I don’t know, but does it even really matter? It’s done.”

“Do you think the guys will help fix this?”

“I hope so. This is going to be awful for them too. They didn’t ask for any of this, is it my fault?” I ask, the tears coming back even stronger the more I think about this.

Was this all my fault? Is this all happening because I’ve been selfish and couldn’t just be content with having Vince all to myself. I had to tempt fate and when the others showed interest, I dove headfirst. I knew this couldn’t last. I knew there would be consequences and now it’s all my fault.

“This isn’t your fault,” Audrey pulls me out of my spiraling thoughts.

“Isn’t it, though?”

“No, they all knew what they were doing too, andnoneof you wanted this to happen. This isn’t anyone’s fault other than the low life who decided to fuck with my best friend.”

“What are you going to do? Hunt them down? And then what? Kidnap and kill them?”

She looks at me deadpan. “If that’s what it takes.”

I let out a choked chuckle. My best friend is the only person who could make me actually laugh right now. “I love you, but I don’t think murder is going to help this situation.”

“You’re probably right,” she sighs. “I’m here for whatever you want to do, though.”

The tears are coming again, this time I can’t stop them because I know exactly what it is I’m going to need to do. I know the best thing for all of us is going to be to deny and end this now before it gets worse.

They are going to have hockey and playoffs to focus on. I have my new business. I knew this wouldn’t last and that something was going to cause this to end. Despite me not wanting it to be something so public I know it’s going to be best for all of us.

Too bad the thought makes me curl over at the stabbing pain in my stomach when I think of losing them and the hot tears drowning my cheeks. Because despite me thinking this is the rational solution and the fact that I have been in denial about the extent of my feelings for them they are still there. My feelings run way deeper than I thought they ever would, and they can never know that I actually have somehow fallen in love with all of them.

38

We are all in the zone for this game. We are playing one of our rivals, the Phoenix’s. We are the top two teams in our division right now and all of us are expecting this to be intense. Coach gave his pregame speech that included telling us to avoid dumb penalties, but then said something he rarely says, “I’m not telling you to start any fights, but I am telling you to finish them.”

The locker room erupts in cheers as we finish up the last bit of our pregame rituals before heading out to the ice for the game to begin. The tension was high even during warmups with the dirty looks sent across the ice, but we all just tried to keep to ourselves and focus on warming up for the game. But I definitely slapped some pucks a bit harder than necessary to make a point.

We get into position for the first puck drop and the second the clock starts, and the game begins, we are giving it our all. Metaphorically, the gloves are off, though I’m sure at some point they will be off for real.

I get off the ice after my first shift, already dripping in sweat. I watch my teammates as we continue to get the puck, only to have it stolen back. There aren’t many shots on the goal yet because no one has had a great chance to shoot since this game is already so physical.

Finally, the play is called offside, and I hop back onto the ice for a shift again. As I’m getting into position one of the guys on the other team says something that makes me stop.

“How’s the team whore doing?”

I narrow my eyes at the asshole. “The fuck are you talking about?”

He just laughs before skating into his own position.

“Dumont!” I hear Coach yell, clearly mad I’m the reason the puck drop is being held up. I shake off the comment as soon as the play starts again and focus back on the game.

We continue playing throughout the first period, the level of intensity doesn’t let up. When we are getting ready for another play, the same guy starts chirping again.

---