Page 114 of The Hat Trick

“Chandler? You got a boyfriend you don’t want us to know about?”

I scoff, shaking my head not even wanting to give him the satisfaction of knowing anything about my life. Unfortunately, it’s probably the anger he’s already brought out, the simmering rage that makes me want him to know he couldhavea better life if he just tried.

“She’s a woman, and she doesn’t concern you.”

“Isshewhy you won’t help me? Some gold digging slut fucking you for your money so you can’t even help your family?”

“You don’t know anything. And you haven’t been my family for a long fucking time,” I seethe. I hate that he’s pushing my buttons. I pride myself on remaining calm and collected at all times, but not right now. He’s pushing me toward my limit, and I know I need to leave.

“If that’s not the case, then fuckinghelp me.”

“You know what, Brandon?” I say, taking a deep breath and preparing myself for what I’m about to say to him. “I will never be able to help you because you’re not able to help yourself. And it sucks that you don’t see it that way. It sucks you think the only way for you to get sober is for everyone else to do the work for you, but that’s not the case. And you’re going to die sad and alone.”

I turn around and leave him standing there because I don’t know what I expected from this, but a small part of me hoped maybe he would be different, but that illusion is gone.

“You know whatHotshot,”he calls after me, mocking the name Brynn calls me. I turn around, already worried about the eyes that are already starting to look in our direction. “I hope you get to see what it’s like to lose everything and have no one there for you too. Then maybe you’ll know what it’s like. It’s a long fucking way down from the top, big brother.”

I ignore him, walking back to the car. Once I’m safely inside, I take my phone out to see some texts in the group chat. A small smile finds my lips, but it’s not enough to fully erase what just happened.

It does remind me what I have though, Chandler, my team. Things that make me happy. I don’t need my brother if he doesn’t want to help himself. At the end of the day, it’s on him and we each made our own choices. Mine led me to hockey. His led him to follow in our parent’s footsteps.

With that, I pull away from the old movie theater and go to my last stop before I head back to the hotel. Brandon made his way closer to my car, and I see the look of pure hatred on his face, watching me as I drive away.

* * *

The rundown housefrom my childhood comes into view, and the feeling of unease finds its way under my skin. There’s garbage and debris all around the manufactured home that has seen better days. I’m talking about better days over thirty years ago because it was definitely not in good condition when I was living here and growing up either.

My original plan was to go up to the front door, make sure my parents were still pieces of shit before leaving town. Now, I can’t even bring myself to do that.

I park on the street before walking up to the house, looking around the perimeter. There’s mold growing around the entire thing, overgrown plants, I’m shocked the roof hasn’t caved in by the amount of moss up there.

This is where I came from.

I end up peeking in through a window only to see what I expected. My parents. Both in their fifties now, still living in filth. My dad is sprawled on the couch, probably passed out. Mom in a chair staring out into nothing. I would almost think she’s dead if it weren’t for the fact that I saw her blink.

My regret is instant for coming here, only confirming what I already knew. I did what I could to raise my siblings and the fact that more of them didn’t end up like Brandon is probably a fucking miracle. I hate that this is where I came from. I hate that this was the life I was given, but I did something to change it.

I made something of myself, and despite still struggling with things because of my upbringing I know I’ve come farther than others. So, without hanging out at the decrepit place any longer I go back to the rental car and drive back toward the city.

During my drive my thoughts are consumed by Chandler. I haven’t called her back or responded to the text messages and I can’t bring myself to do either right now. Not after I was just reminded of where I came from, what my life could have been.

She’s too good, she deserves someone like Dumont who comes from a good family, has great relationships with everyone in said family and became who he is because of pure love of the game and not because for him it was do or die to be the best.

Even McQuaid, he came from money and status, he could give her the life she deserves. It doesn’t matter that I may have those things now, they could go away in a second.

Yet, there’s no way I would let her go. I’m too far gone for her, and I know losing her would be worse than anything else. I’ll just have to prove to her every day that no matter where I came from I will always do better and make sure to never end up like them. I’ll have to show her how much I care about her.

I can’t lose her; I know it would break me.

37

My newly started business is way busier than I expected it to be for just starting out. I know Audrey is one of the big contributors since she talked to every single person she knows in the cam business and asked if they wanted help with redesigning their website or any of their ads or marketing materials on social media.

I’ve also had a couple other small business owners reach out asking for quotes and considering they had to do with sports in some capacity, I know the guys had their hand in those. I haven’t said anything and neither have they, so I’m choosing to leave it alone for now. It’s not like I’m taking some sort of hand out from them. I’m doing the work and trying to get my name out there.

Ever since their week off ended they’ve been slammed with games and practices. They are on track to make the playoffs and since my hockey knowledge is fairly limited, I know that leads into the Stanley Cup and that is something they want.

They are all working hard and it’s showing because they’ve only lost a couple games in recent weeks. I’ve only gone to one game since they’ve been back from their break because I’ve been busy and also because being around the WAGs can be uncomfortable for me. Even though Audrey comes with me, I don’t like the looks that are sent in my direction.

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