Page 100 of The Roommate Lie

“No, ma’am. Not if she’s a legal adult.”

“It’s late, anyway,” my mother chimes in. “It’s probably for the best. We can talk about this tomorrow.”

My father isn’t so sure. I can tell he’s a little more frustrated with me than she is, a little more Team Emma. Meanwhile, I just wish there weren’t teams at all.

We’re Kilpatricks. If there’s one thing we’re good at, it’s always being on the same team, even when we’re mad at each other. Until I ruined it.

Charlie’s mom tries to help smooth things over next. “You’re all welcome to stay with me and Bill while you’re in town, if you want. We have plenty of space. Or”—she pauses, reading my father like a book—“you could stay at the bed-and-breakfast next door. With Jason. So you can make him suffer.”

My father’s eyes gleam. Jason has always been scared of him, and my dad likes it that way.

Muriel nods. “We have plenty of room. I could even call him down to the front desk to make him fill out some ‘paperwork’ while you’re checking in. It’ll be a nice little jump scare.”

Sold.

Emma makes a big scene about me needing to stay at the bed-and-breakfast too, but everyone ignores her. I stay at Charlie’s, where I want to be, and after a not-so-subtle nudge from Nicki, he invites her to stay with us too.

Once my parents leave with Emma and Muriel, Charlie walks his mom out to her car, and I retreat to the guest room with Lydia and my sister. They argue over who gets to sleep on the couch—both of them fighting to be the Nice One Who Makes Sacrifices. Lydia wins.

She gets settled on the couch, and Nicki and I take the bed. It’s been a long day, and my sister falls asleep quick, but I’m a lost cause. My mind is churning, my guilt amped up to a thousand, and I’m too full of regrets to settle down.

The guest room windows are open, but I never hear Charlie come back inside after his mom drives away. The exhaust fan in his art shed starts humming instead, and maybe he’s having trouble settling down tonight too.

I listen to that steady sound for a long time, the way it mingles with the crickets outside and the light babble of the creek in his backyard. Whole hours pass before I get up. Before my worries get the better of me, and I feel like I’ll drown if I stay still much longer.

I want a distraction. I need to forget. And even though things have been weird between us all day, Charlie’s my only hope.

He’s finishing up when I arrive. Right as I walk in, he puts whatever he was working on into his kiln for the night. I can’t see what it is. I catch a faint glimpse of green, and then it’s gone, that glass item disappearing so fast, it’s almost like he didn’t want me to see it.

“You okay?” he asks as I walk in.

I’m not, but I don’t want to say that. I want to have a light and fluffy conversation about nothing, or I want him to flirt withme like he did in the kitchen last night. Suggest another one of his dangerous games.

Except I’m me.

An awkward, anxious mess who is the opposite of light and fluffy.

His eyes are so gentle right now, so worried. He asks the question again, softer this time, and I’m not used to men being this careful with me, this kind and genuine. My chin quivers, and it’s all over.

So long, light and fluffy. Goodbye, dangerous fun.

“I just—I messed up a lot of things at home. I shouldn’t have kept Nicki’s condition a secret, and Emma’s never going to forgive me, and?—”

Charlie rests his hands on my shoulders, centering me instantly. All that care and concern in his eyes travels through me, carried by the gentle weight of his touch.

“Listen, Carrots,” he says. “I’ve been here; you know I have. Family secrets. All the guilt. I know exactly how this feels.”

I’d forgotten about his past—I always do when we’re together—and I nod. Grateful that he understands.

“I had to go to a lot of therapy before I felt better—years. But I’m going to Cliff’s Note it for you. I’m going to tell you the one thing you really need to know. Are you ready?”

I nod again, and his eyes get even softer as they lock on mine. Impossibly soft.

“You did the best you could. You had to make a tough decision while you were worried about your sister, and you did the best you could. Just because you made a bad choice doesn’t mean you’re a bad person.”

It’s the look in his eyes that gets me, that finally makes me break. Charlie gazes down at me with so much tenderness, it fractures my heart. Or maybe my heart is already fractured, and he’s just piecing it back together.

Either way, I fall apart, and he wraps his arms around me, hugging me tight. Letting me cry as long as I want without ever judging me for it. He’s kind of the best that way.

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