Page 85 of The Roommate Lie

“It’s just a kiss,” I tell him. “How hard could it be?”

I’m all talk, though, all unearned bravado. Sure, I’ve kissed guys before, but I’ve never been the one to initiate the first kiss. Or the second. Or the third. I’m a “follow his lead” girl until I get nice and comfortable, and a spark of panic flares in my chest.

But sometimes, a little panic is worth it.

I shift to stand in front of him. He’s still leaning back against the barrier, and part of me hopes he’ll join in. That he’ll loop his arms around my waist and pull me toward him or rest his hands on my hips.Something.

It looks like he wants to, but he bites his lip again and shakes his head. As if he can tell what I’m thinking. “You’re in charge,” he says. “I’m just along for the ride.”

He’s enjoying this too much, watching me squirm. I try not to smile or egg him on, but I also try not to pass out, anxiety thrumming in my chest like a nuclear reactor.

I hesitate, and my false bravado falters. “Is this too soon? Should we practice first?”

Charlie only shrugs. “Practice is overrated. I’m sure you’re a natural.”

Rake.

I hide another smile and place my hands on his shoulders. Touching him feels better than it should, the hard curve of his muscles and the warmth of his body. Everything that’s waiting for me under the soft fabric of his shirt.

Charlie grips the railing behind him. There’s something almost desperate about how he’s holding on, and I can’t shake the feeling that he knows exactly what he’d do if he could. That he knows exactly how he’d hold on to me.

I wish he would. My skin hums for his touch, a desperation of my own coursing through me that I’ve never felt until now. Before I can make my big move, anxiety gets the better of me for good. Any courage I had fades, and I’m just a girl who doesn’t know what she’s doing. Standing in front of a guy who always knows what to do.

Suddenly, even having my hands on his shoulders feels like a mistake, how close I’m standing. I’m so awkward and clumsy, soAlice. “I’m doing this wrong,” I mutter. “Is this weird? Am I messing this up?”

The only thing more embarrassing than feeling this way is admitting it out loud, but Charlie doesn’t judge me. He rests his forehead against mine, gazing down at me with soft eyes.

“You’re doing great,” he whispers. “I promise.”

Those words calm me instantly, the look in his eyes, and I tilt my chin. As the distance between us slims, he hesitates. There’s no flirt in his eyes now, no rakishness. Just a certain honest something I can’t put my finger on.

“Are you sure about this, Carrots?” he murmurs, and that’s all it takes. I hear that word, that perfect nickname, and nothing else matters.

I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.

Chapter Forty-Five

CHARLIE

Alice’s lips tease against mine. It’s the softest brush of contact, barely a whisper, but that’s all it takes.

I give up. Forget the railing. Forget keeping my hands to myself and letting her be the only rake—forget our big plan. Who cares about my reputation?

Instinct takes over, and I cup her face in my hands, tilting her chin to get the angle just right. But I don’t pull her completely into my arms; it’s too dangerous. She sighs against my lips, and I fight to hold on to my last ounce of restraint.

She isn’t mine.

She’s leaving.

Alice will be gone in a few days. Maybe that should make me keep my distance, but it doesn’t. I can see the end right in front of me, yet I don’t shy away from her like I should. This is my chance. This is all I’m going to get, but it’s mine.

Still, I try to let her stay in control and make the choices she wants to make, to take this kiss wherever she wants it to go. Alice is pretty hot when she’s in charge.

Her bottom lip nudges against mine, and I try not to growl as she kisses me a little harder. But I don’t let it deepen any morethan that. I don’t think I could handle it if it did. Especially once she’s gone.

Alice smells like strawberries again, and I’d swear she tastes like them too. She grips my shoulders as her body presses lightly against mine, the heat of that contact making me dizzy, and I breathe her in. When she finally pulls away, that scent lingers, and it’s going to torment me for the rest of my life. Wherever I go, whatever happens next, the smell of strawberries is always going to remind me of Alice.

“How was that, Blythe?” she whispers as she rests her forehead back against mine. And it takes me a second to catch my breath, the pressure of that kiss still haunting my lips.

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