Page 107 of Hold Me Today

When we stepped into this room yesterday, I’d envisioned telling Mina I loved her a million different ways. All of them had a single thing in common: she threw her arms around me as soon as I said the words.

Stupid. Maláka. Fucking fanciful, romantic bullshit.

Voice gritty like gravel, I grunt, “You look like you want torun, Mina.” Changing trajectories, I grab my duffel from the floor and stuff yesterday’s clothes inside the top flap. “I can handle being the only one saying I love you, but I’ve been down this path before and I’m not gonna ignore the signs again that are telling me we’re on a ticking clock.”

“I’m not Brynn.”

I meet her gaze and let it all out. “No, you’re not.” I hook the duffel bag’s strap over my shoulder. “But I can’t . . . I’m going to be blunt here, Mina. You think I looked broken when you found me after the wedding? How I felt in that moment would be unicorns and rainbows to how I’d be ifyouwere the one to leaveme at the altar. I’m not looking for a repeat situation. You need time to really think about what you want from me, from us, and I’m not gonna sit here and make you feel guilty for not sayin’ the words back.”

Her brows furrow together. “So you’re doing the walking first this time? Is that how this is going to play out? You scurry off because you’re worried that I’ll do what Brynn did to you?”

“You already ran, Ermione. You might be standing right here in front of me but, mentally, you’ve checked out because you’re scared.” I stare down into her honey eyes. “You know I’m right.”

She sucks in a harsh, reedy breath. “Please don’t give up on me. I need to—I need to . . .”

Against my better judgment, I lean down and brush a soft kiss to her forehead. I soak up her scent, wishing that I could rewind tonight and hit PLAY with her shirtless in front of me and stars in her eyes. I feel her fingers grip the fabric of my shirt.

Give her space. Let her think.

This doesn’t have to be the end—even if it sure as hell feels that way.

I skirt past her on my way to the door, where I glance over my shoulder to look back at her. “S’agapo,Ermione.”I love you. “But I can’t be the one to tell you why loving me back scares you; only you can figure that out. When you do . . . come find me. I’ll wait. I’ll always wait.”

Fisting the knob, I pull open the door.

“I wish it didn’t terrify me,” she whispers raggedly from behind me.

My shoulders pull up. “Kai ego, agape mou, kai ego.”Me too, my love, me too.

Dom says nothing when I knock on his door two minutes later. He only looks from my bag hooked over my shoulder to my face, then backs up wordlessly to let me inside the room. His is smaller than the one I shared with Mina, and while he climbs back into bed, I sprawl out on the floor with a spare duvet and a pillow.

There’s no fireplace to keep the space warm, and soon the chill of Mina’s emotional mountains seep into my bones. The icy night keeps me company into the early morning while sleep proves completely elusive.

I never break hearts—but tonight I broke two.

36

Nick

“Where is he?”

Balancing the sledgehammer’s wooden handle on my palm, I lean back from where I’ve been going to town on age-old drywall, and eye Vince, who’s standing closest to the museum’s front door. “Don’t let her in.”

He gives me a side-eye to rival all side-eyes, his hand already reaching out to the doorknob. “I don’t have a death wish.”

I chuckle, low. “Effie’s not gonna kill you, Miceli.”

“I’m going to kill you all if you don’t open this door right now!”

Mark doesn’t even bother to disguise his snicker. “She sounds pissed, boss man.”

That’s because Effieispissed. After an awkwardly silent three-hour car ride back to Boston from Bethel, Mina asked for me to drop her off at my sister’s house instead of at her parents’.

It took approximately twenty-three minutes after that for Effie to blow up my phone with texts that can be summed up by the following:

What are you, a MONSTER? Who walks away from a girl like Mina, huh?

I can’t believe you left her high and dry.

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