Page 22 of Hold Me Today

To:Nick Stamos

From:Mina Pappas

Subject Line:Renovation Details + Your Dating Show

Hey!You know, in all these years I don’t think I’ve ever emailed you? Not that email is athinganymore but (confession: please scope out my email addy. How cool, right!?) you’re officially the FIRST person whose ever recieved an email from me. Count yourself as blessed.

Also, excuse all typos. Sending this while I’m on the way into the salon on the T. Trains + keyboard typing are not a match-made in heaven.

Speaking of match-making in heaven . . . I saw you’re face on TV last night. You looked—well, I’m hoping that you smiled at least ONCE when you were trying to woo the bachelorette? (Say yes). Am I not supposed to call her the bachelorette if it’s a different show? Did you get roses? Those delicious candy ring-pops from the vending machines? **GASPS** Chastity belts in case someone was feeling frisky while you traveled the world? (I’m a little jealous of the last one. I haven’t left the country since the last time we went to Greece together. Oh, what a trip.)

I’ve attached all the materials that were chosen for Agape to this email. Can we set up a time for you to come by so we can look at the space together? Decide on how much I need of everything before I buy it and cry into my empty bank account?

Not-a-hug,

Mina

P.S., I know how much hugs don’t do it for you. Hope this works instead.

To:Mina Pappas

From:Nick Stamos

Re: Subject Line:Renovations Details + Your Dating Show

First email recipient ever, huh? I’m not sure if I’d count myself as blessed but I’ve tagged this message so it’ll always be remembered. When you’re old and graying and thinking about your youth, feel free to let me know and I’ll pull this baby right out for you, typos and all.

Please don’t tell me you’re a secretThe Bachelorfangirl. I thought so highly of you, Ermione, and you’re crushing all my expectations. No, we didn’t get roses. And hell no to the chastity belts. There wasonevirgin on the show though. Man’s gonna have a field day when the episodes start airing.

How about I come by tomorrow? Got a meeting early in the morning, but I’m free around noon. Let me know if that works for your schedule—and hold off on the tears until I get a look at the space. I’ll bring tissues in case you start leaking.

P.S., What gave you the impression that I don’t like hugs?

P.P.S., For the record, not all Greek men are tiny down under.

P.P.P.S., Care to cut my hair tomorrow while we’re at it? Pro bono, and all.

To:Nick Stamos

From:Mina Pappas

Re: Re: Subject Line:Renovation Details + Your Dating Show

OMG, you are just sokind.Not that I’m trying to inflate your ego or anything because let’s face it, it’s already rivaling Mercury, at least, in terms of girth. *rolls eyes* Old and gray. You really know how to throw that sugar around, Saint Nick. I’m tasting the sweetness through every period and comma you’re throwing at me.

ANYWAY, I’ll admit to nothing. Pleading the fifth. Although I’m very curious about this virgin. Was their a sacrifice? A de-virgining ceremony with whips and chains and at least one condom? If not,myexpectations are clearly not low enough.

Noon works for me.

P.S., In over twenty years, you’ve hugged me exactly two times. I suppose I’ll have to wait till the end of my thirties to earn another. Although I remember them being rather . . . limp. I’m sure they’ve improved since then . . .

P.P.S., If you say so.

P.P.P.S., YES. How do you feel about going bald? Wanna pull off the Vin Diesel look? You could rock it.

To:Mina Pappas

From:Nick Stamos

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