Page 28 of Body Check

All I want is a bed, some pillows to smash my face against, and a shower—not exactly in that order.

“How do you think we did without Adam tonight?” Carmen asks as we lug our equipment through the rotating front doors. “I know you usually don’t hop on sound.”

She’s right.

As Carter Photography has grown over the years, I’ve expanded my knowledge to more than photography. I can work a camera just as well as any other videographer and know how to edit footage and get the best shots. Sound, however, has never been a passion of mine. In comes Adam, our resident sound mixer.

“We did fine.” Shouldering my heavy backpack, I rearrange my grip on the equipment that wouldn’t fit in our bags—my tripod and light reflector—and duck my head as we enter the hotel’s lobby. “Plus, Adam would have been with us if he could.”

“You mean it’s not every day his wife gives birth to their first child?”

I grin at Carmen’s teasing. “Just think, maybe if Sports 24/7 had approached us months ago like they did for the rest of the team, we could have told Adam to strap up one last time to keep the little guys from zipping to ground zero.”

Carmen doesn’t even bat an eye. “We’re talking about his sperm now, aren’t we?”

With the heavy weight on my back, I can’t even roll my shoulders in a shrug. “More like we’re talking about him deciding the wrong time to have sex. He should have waited for a full moon or the sign of a new zodiac or—”

“Waiting on an astrological sign to decide when to forego the condom? I know whyI’mchildless, but now it all makes sense for you.”

Jackson and I were always way too busy with our careers to even think about adding a baby into the mix. Still, I only laugh off Carmen’s comment, knowing that her teasing doesn’t come from a place of ill-will, as we wait for the elevator toding!and open up its glossy, reflective doors.

Turning my back on the elevator, I skim my gaze over the lobby. For a cheapo airport hotel, this one isn’t too shabby. During my marriage, I stayed in countless throughout the country while I tagged along for game after game. It’s my first time visiting this one.

A beautiful fountain bubbles to life to my right, positioned beneath a skylight some four stories above. Stone benches sit around it, as though encouraging visitors to take a seat and bask in the tranquil sounds of the fountain. Beyond it, a floor-to-ceiling window awaits, overlooking a gorgeous pool that I noted when we first arrived. Now, in the darkness, fairy lights twinkle outside the window, and I can almost imagine late-night swimmers paddling about in the pool.

Off to my left is a restaurant, and beside it, a bar.

My grip tightens on the tripod as I note the single figure seated at the far end. With his back to me, there’s nothing particularly identifiable about him. Solid black T-shirt, backward ball-cap—solid black, too—gray sweatpants that could just as easily be from Walmart as they could be a designer brand.

I see nothing of his profile from where I stand.

And yet I know instinctively that it’s him—Jackson—and I must be crazy because the only thought crossing my mind as I stare at him is,He looks so lonely sitting there by himself.

“Holly?”

My shoulders flinch at Carmen’s inquiring tone. “Go up without me,” I hear myself say, even though internally I’m shouting,Stop what you’re doing! Nuh-uh, don’t do it, don’t you do it.I do it. “I need to . . .”—think!—“change my tampon.”

Oh. Good. Lord.

“You can’t wait until you get to your room?”

The elevator alerts its arrival with ading!that sounds altogether more damning than me admitting, out loud, that seeing Jackson by himself at the bar twists at my insides in a way that I wish I could ignore.

“It’s real heavy this month.”

“At least you know you can’t be pregnant.”

I whip my head around to look at Carmen. “How would I be pregnant? I haven’t had sex since Jackson—”

“Let me rephrase,” she murmurs, a sly smile curving her lips, “at least you know that when you walk over to that bar and sit down next to that man you’re eyeing, you can’t have sex. We both know how you feel about getting it on when you’re on your period.”

I want to die of mortification, both because Carmen caught me staring at Jackson—though I guess I should feel thankful that she didn’t recognize him—and since she’s well-aware of the fact that when my period has taken up residency, my vagina gets a DO NOT DISTURB sign in the interim.

What can I say?

IfIdon’t want to be down there during this time of the month, I don’t want anyone else to be down there either.

When the elevator doors begin to slip shut, Carmen shoves an arm out to stop them. She walks backward into the brightly lit space, never taking her eyes off my face. “Do what you gotta do, girl,” she tells me after reaching forward to hit the floor button she needs. “No judgment here.”

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