Page 78 of Sin Bin

“No?” I poke him in the chest, then plant my hands on my hips. “For the two years that I’ve known you, Andre, you’ve slept with women without thought as to howtheymightfeel.”

“It’s not acrimeto—”

I cut him off with a wave of my hand. “No, it’s not a crime to sleep around. But you let what Hannah did to you turn you into a man who had no thought to other people’s emotions. You slept with women. You barked at the media. You gotmean, Andre. What Hannah did to you? Unforgivable. If she was still here, I’d yank her hair out. But none of her actions makeyoursacceptable.”

Our heavy breathing fills the foyer, rapid and panicked because we both know that we’re hurtling towardtheend.

We can’t come backfromthis.

“I don’t know what to say,” he rasps. “I did use you. I used a lot of women who didn’t deserveit.I—”

“What was his name?” I ask. “Yourson?”

His eyes squeeze shut before cranking open. “Aaron,” he tells me. “Hannah named himAaron.”

Aaron. I don’t ask if Hannah listed ‘Beaumont’ as the boy’s surname. Something tells me that she did. But I do shift closer to Andre, so that I cup his cheek. His stubble ticklesmypalm.

I swallow, hard. My fingers tangle in his messy hair. “I think you need to ask what kind of man Aaron would have wanted as a father. A man who spends his days living in the sin bin, even when he’s off the ice, or a man who greets life head-on, whatever it throwsathim.”

“Zoe—”

I shake my head and step back. “Just answer me this, Andre. The moment that you saw me while Hannah was still here, what was your gutresponse?”

From the way a tick pulses in his jaw and he tugs at his hair, it’s easy to see that he hates my question. In a low, gravelly tone, he answers me anyway: “I wanted to be alone. I wanted . . . Fuck, Zoe, Idon’t—”

I refuse to let the tears stinging my eyes fall. “Just say it,” I whisper, “it’sfine.”

His hands curl into fists at his sides. “Seeing Hannah, remembering everything with Aaron . . . ” His eyes slam shut. “I need more time. Right now with us, I just . . . I’m not sure I’m ready to take that leap. I thought I was, I”—his dark eyes open and hold me captive—“I care about you, Zo, I do, but Ijustneed. . . ”

“Time.” The word sounds hollow. He’s had time. He’s hadyears. “You need time, and I don’t—” I inhale sharply, struggling against the hurt. “I need someone who’s willing to take that leap with me, Andre. I need someone who’s willing to let me shoulder the hurt with them as opposed to asking me for space. I hope that you find whatyouneed.”

He steps forward, his hand wrapping around my wrist. “I’m sorry. You have to know that I didn’trealize—”

The feeling of his hand on mine is wonderful and awful all at once. “You weren’t ready for a relationship,” I finish for him, pulling away from his touch. “I heard you and I get it, but this time? This time I know what I want, Andre, and that’s to be more than friends with you. That’s what I want, and I’m not going to hide from it. Unless that’s something you can see yourself giving me, then I think . . . I think that maybe we shouldjuststop.”

I wait. God, I wait for him to say that he wants a relationship with me, that maybe nottodaybut that he will soon. He doesn’t. His expression shutters, taking on that icy mask that I loathe so much, and he steps back. Into his safety zone where women don’t pose a risk to his heart. Into his safety zone where he doesn’t have to expose himself tomorehurt.

As much as it hurts, I get it, but that doesn’t mean I have to live with it. His insecurities. The pain he’s not willing to share. The fear he’s not willing to letmeease.

“Stop living like you’re stuck in the penalty box, Andre.” I swallow past the lump in my throat, hands curling into fists against my belly. “For once, just try to take the same risks off the ice as you doonit.”

With that, I gather my things and leave, thankful for the fact that I drove over last night. I hold myself together as I head home and pull into the driveway of my new apartment. I hold myself together as I climb the steps to my third-floor apartment. I hold myself together until I step inside and realize that the place is empty and devoid of life because I’ve spent every moment with Andre since I signed mylease.

That’s when my knees buckle and I slide to the floor, my back againstthedoor.

I should have seen thiscoming.

I should have—but instead I let myself fall back in love with the one man who will never let his past go long enough to lovemeback.

ChapterTwenty-Five

ANDRE

Zero Days Left…

Shequit.

I slam my locker shut with more force than necessary. I can’t believe that Zoe quit on the last fucking day of her trial run with Golden Lights Media. It’s ridiculous, fucking ridiculous, and I am in such a foul moodthatI’m—

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