Page 32 of Boss With Benefits

Falling in love.

She stilled at the thought that darted through her head, and her whole body froze. No. That couldn’t be right. She didn’t want to be in love, ever. Look at what had happened the last time she’d tried it. Not that that had been love, she’d realised when she’d fallen out of it so swiftly. But the real thing would be even more unacceptably distracting. It would mean having to consider someone else’s feelings and wishes. It would mean compromise, sacrifice and distraction. She’d never get to the top of her profession, ideally running one of the big four firms, without total single-mindedness. She couldn’t think of anything worse than constantly battling for control of her career as her private life got increasingly complicated.

Yet, was love the extra dimension to the affair that she’d noticed following the night the hammock? The warm fuzzy feeling she’d developed? It could be. And when she thought about it, the rest of the evidence was pretty damning too. She adored sleeping with him. She couldn’t get enough of his company and she was riveted by his conversation. The minute she was in his vicinity, every sense she possessed sharpened. He blew her away with his strength, his resolve and his determination to do the right thing. He made her feel safe andprotected. He was steadfast and reliable. If she allowed him to, she had no doubt he would take on her ex and her firm, just as he’d been prepared to confront the lech in the bar who’d chatted her up the evening they’d met.

She’d always believed that she had to depend on herself and herself alone. She’d been let down so many times—by her parents, her employers, Drew—and had learned from an early age that she was her best and only champion. But she’d be able to depend on Adam. He would never let her down. He fought for the things he cared about, whether it was justice, his company or his sister. Would it really be such a bad thing to have him fight for her too? She’d been marching through life on her own for as long as she could remember, and it was exhausting. And lonely. So very, very lonely.

Perhaps she’d been ever so slightly overdramatic with the whole must-stay-single thing. Perhaps the key lay in choosing a partner who had similar values and an identical work ethic to her own. Similar drive and ambition. Someone who would totally understand when she had to stay late or work weekends because they did that too.

Adam was that man. He wouldn’t demand she make sacrifices to accommodate him. He wouldn’t feel threatened by her need for independence. He operated entirely on his own too and he wasn’t threatened by anything.

Okay, so he’d said he didn’t have time for a relationship, but everyone made time for the things they wanted to do and people they wanted to be with. She just had to show him she was one such person. They could figure out the details later. They could be great together, a power couple taking the city by storm. She could have everything she hadn’t even known she wanted.

‘I’ve been falling in love with you,’ she confessed giddily, her heart feeling too big for her chest, the wild jumble of emotions too great to contain.

Adam tensed and paled, which wasn’t very encouraging. But he had a habit of backing off when she got too close for comfort and, as he’d discovered repeatedly over the last few weeks, she was extremely tenacious, so there was no way she wasn’t going to add, ‘And I think you’ve been falling in love with me.’

He flinched as though winded and took a step back. He gave his head another sharp shake, his denial unequivocal. ‘You’re mistaken.’

‘Am I?’ she said, the image of the future they could have together so dazzlingly brilliant that she could see nothing else. ‘Do you talk about your mother with everyone? Do you resort to subterfuge and buy a private jet for all the women you sleep with? And what about the romantic dinner you arranged the night you brought Aruba to me? Is that standard practice?’

His body was now rigid with tension. His expression turned even stonier. ‘I warned you not to read more into this than there actually is, Ella.’

‘I don’t think I am.’

‘It wouldn’t be the first time you’ve made the mistake of thinking yourself in love, would it?’

At that, the dazzling future vanished. Ella stifled a gasp and reeled, his callow observation shredding her heart to ribbons. She couldn’t believe he’d said that. How dare he turn her confession on her like that? Who was this man? Where had the Adam of the past few days gone? How could she have forgotten how ruthless he could be?

‘That’s a low blow,’ she said hoarsely, her throat oddly tight. ‘And this is quite different.’

‘How?’

Well, quite. How? Her heart hammering, she mentally sifted through the last three weeks, her temperature steadily rising when she realised that itwasn’tdifferent. He’d never promised her anything. She’d just assumed. She’d done what she’d swornnot to do. She hadn’t kept it casual. She’d allowed her starry-eyed self to be swept off her feet and ended up far more invested in their affair than him. Just as she had before.

‘Are you honestly saying you feel nothing for me?’ she said, her head spinning with confusion and despair.

‘That’s exactly what I’m saying.’

For a moment, she couldn’t breathe. The ground seemed to be shaking. She felt as though he’d reached in, pulled out her heart and then trampled all over it while she lay beside it, bleeding, dying.

But what could she do? She couldn’t force him to feel the same way about her as she did about him. No amount of tenacity would make him love her. She wasn’t wanted. And that meant she couldn’t be here any more. There was only so much humiliation she could take. Only so long before her strength drained away and she collapsed into a soggy heap on the tiles.

So she lifted her chin and pulled her shoulders back, and before she lost what was left of her dignity, she said, ‘I’ll get packing right away.’

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

EMBARKINGONTHEtravel plans Maggie had discussed with him back in the office nearly six weeks ago and then followed up with an email he’d eventually opened once Ella had gone, Adam touched down in Rome first thing on Tuesday morning, certain he’d done the right thing in cutting off all prospects of a relationship with her and denying any feelings for her that he may or may not have had.

That photo had been far too close a call, he thought darkly as he listened to the plans for refurbishment outlined by the general manager of the seven-star hotel the Courtney Collection owned there. She was safe. As was he. They’d both had an incredibly lucky escape—for him that had been personal as well as professional—so he booted both her and their conversation firmly from his head with no regrets about any of it. He didn’t miss her or wonder how her promotion was going. He didn’t think of her and their three weeks together at all.

A week later, however, as he toured the factory in Hanoi, which manufactured leather goods for one of the businesses in the Collection, he had to admit he was struggling. Ella filtered into his head annoyingly often, and that scene by the pool kept nagging at his thoughts.

But he still held firm the belief that sending her home had been the best thing to do. He couldn’t have agreed to a continuation of the affair from Labor Day onwards, even though he’d had to bite back theHell yesthat had been on the tip of his tongue. She’d still strip him of control and civility and tempt him into recklessness, and from there it would be a quick descent into chaos and destruction.

It was only natural to miss her, he reflected in between meetings that felt interminable. They’d packed a lot into three weeks. The memories would soon fade. And he’d eventually shake the image of her stricken face when he’d accused her of making a mistake about her feelings for him. He had not been proud of himself for that, but he’d had to get her away before he’d caved in and agreed to—and with—everything she’d said.

But by the time he arrived in the Blue Mountains wine region of New South Wales at the end of August, he was wondering what the hell he’d done. Every moment they’d spent together and every conversation they’d ever had were etched into his head. And now, as he sat in a presentation about the projections for next year’s Shiraz sales, all he could think was, had he completely lost his mind? How could he ever have believed himself not in love with her? He was wild about her. He probably had been since the moment she’d dealt the jerk in the bar a knee in the groin and a martini down his shirt the night they’d met.

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