As she gathers her things to leave, I find myself wanting to say something, anything, to keep her here. To keep her safe.
But I remain silent, watching as she walks away. The door closes behind her, and I'm left alone with my thoughts.
What the fuck am I doing? I'm supposed to be overseeing these trials, not getting attached to a human. But the thought of Lyra facing the next challenge, of her possibly not surviving... It fills me with a feeling I've never experienced before.
Regret.
9
LYRA
Istand on the edge of the platform, my heart hammering against my ribs. The wind tugs at my hair, whipping it across my face. I brush it away impatiently, trying to focus on the task ahead.
The phantom wings on my back feel strange - weightless yet somehow heavy with responsibility. I can fly, but it's not real. Not yet. It's a cruel tease of what I'm fighting for. They said it's to train for another possibility of the trials, but I think it's to entice — or discourage us.
I glance around, noting the thinned ranks of my fellow candidates. Lena catches my eye and gives me a tight smile. I return it, grateful for her presence. Mira and Kai's absence is a stark reminder of how far we've come - and how much further we have to go.
It was hard for me to stomach it after the first trial, returning to the rooms and finding that they didn't make it. But Lena and I have stayed friendly, even if we aren't really training together.
The xaphan instructors hover nearby, their real wings a painful reminder of what we lack. I spot Sariel among them,his golden eyes fixed on me with an intensity that makes my stomach flip.
"Lyra," he calls out, his voice carrying easily over the wind. "You're up."
I take a deep breath, steeling myself. The maneuver ahead is complex - a series of loops and dives that will test my ability to use these phantom wings. One wrong move and I'll plummet to the ground.
I step off the platform, the phantom wings catching the air. For a moment, I'm falling, and panic claws at my throat. Then muscle memory kicks in, and I'm soaring upward.
The wind rushes past me as I climb higher and higher. The ground below becomes a patchwork of colors, the people mere specks. Up here, it's just me and the sky.
I reach the apex of my climb and pause for a heartbeat. Then I tuck my wings and dive. The world blurs around me as I pick up speed. At the last second, I unfurl my wings, pulling out of the dive and into a tight loop.
I twist my body, preparing to catch an updraft and soar higher. It's a move I've practiced countless times. But something's off. My heart races, a sudden panic gripping me as I realize I'm not in control.
My muscles scream in protest, fatigue from the endless trials weighing me down like lead. Days of pushing myself to the limit have taken their toll, and now, when I need my strength the most, it fails me.
A sudden gust of wind hits me from the side, throwing off my balance. The air whooshes past my ears, drowning out my startled gasp. I try to compensate, my phantom wings flailing desperately, but it's too late.
Instead of rising, I'm falling. The ground rushes up to meet me, a patchwork of colors blurring into a dizzying mess. My stomach lurches, and for a moment, I'm paralyzed with fear.This can't be happening. Not now, not when I'm so close to proving myself.
Panic floods my system as the ground rushes up to meet me. My heart pounds in my ears, drowning out everything else. I flail my arms, desperately trying to regain control of the phantom wings, but they're unresponsive.
"No, no, no," I gasp, terror clawing at my throat.
The world spins around me, a dizzying blur of colors. I can't tell up from down anymore. My stomach lurches, and for a moment, I think I might be sick.
Time slows to a crawl as I plummet towards the ground. The wind howls in my ears, drowning out the screams from below. I catch glimpses of horrified faces, growing larger with each passing second. My fellow candidates, the instructors, Sariel - all watching my descent with wide eyes and open mouths.
In these terrifying moments, my life flashes before my eyes. I see my parents' disappointed faces, hear their harsh words echoing in my mind. The weight of their expectations crushes me more than the impending impact ever could.
I remember the countless nights spent training in secret, pushing my body to its limits. The bruises, the aching muscles, the tears shed in frustration - all for nothing. My dreams of earning wings, of lifting my family out of poverty, of finally proving my worth - they're slipping away faster than I'm falling.
Every stolen moment, every ounce of determination I poured into this goal flashes before me. All those sacrifices, all that pain and hope - it feels so meaningless now as the ground rushes up to meet me.
A crushing sense of failure overwhelms me. I'm going to die without achieving my goal. All those years of struggle, of enduring abuse and neglect, of clinging to hope when everything seemed hopeless - it was all for nothing.
I think of Lena, Mira, and Kai. Of the bonds we formed, the support we gave each other. I wonder if Lena will mourn me the way we did for Mira and Kai or if she'll be too focused — if everyone watching will be too focused — on their own survival to spare a thought for another fallen candidate.
As the ground rushes up to meet me, I can't help but think of Sariel. His golden eyes, his cruel words, the way he pushed me harder than anyone else. I wanted to prove him wrong, to show him that humans were worthy. Now, I'll never get the chance.