Page 5 of Marrying Off My Husband

“I didn’t go back on it.” I wagged a finger at her. “I just…Lou, I’m not going to date whatever bimbo signs up on your online dating site.”

“I’m not using an online site. I’m using my God-given brains to sort this out for you. Don’t you trust me, sugar?”

I grinned at her. I did not trust her with this. Not at all. She’d pull out all the stops, but I’d end up on a long string of awful social outings that made me want to disappear into my own gaming world for the rest of my life.

“Of course, I do,” I said with that fake smile still on my face. “But the real question is…do you trust me?”

She stared at me, her eyes searching my face. “Do I trust you for what?”

I straightened, lifting my chin. “I’m going to do the same thing for you.”

She wrinkled her nose, her top lip rippling upward. “You want to find me a new husband?”

“Yes,” I said with a nod. “We’ll each find the other a new spouse. What do you say?”

“I say…no. Spence, I have no problem searching for love myself. You, on the other hand, will shut yourself up in this big old place and never be seen or heard from again.”

“Not true. I’m planning on attending your next wedding.”

“Oh, yes, you will. With a date on your arm.” She rose from her seat, signaling the end of the conversation. “Don’t you gocreating a dating profile for me, Spence. You are not cleared to do this.”

“Louise Montgomery,” I called after her as she sauntered from the kitchen, “sassy Southerner who enjoys long walks on the beach, fruity concoctions, and shopping. Must love life as much as she does.”

“Don’t do it, Spence!” she answered before the door banged shut.

I chuckled. I had my leverage. If she wasn’t going to let me help her, I wasn’t going to let her help me. We were stalemated. And that was just fine by me.

I sipped at my coffee again, my mind wandering to our unique situation. Our marriage of convenience had served its purpose for Louise.

A frown settled on my lips as I stared out over the rolling landscape that led to the sea. With me, she was trapped, doomed to a life without romantic love and that had never been our plan.

A pang of guilt sliced through me as I shifted my weight from foot to foot. Clinging to Louise because of the shield she provided was wrong. I knew that. I just had to figure out how to convince her to leave me to my own devices.

My life wouldn’t be so bad, I thought as I shuffled to my in-home office overlooking the crashing waves. I’d just…stay in a lot. I hated parties, anyway. And after the divorce, I’d have to deal with the pitying looks, the attempts to set me up with the future Mrs. Whitaker.

“Pass,” I said as I settled into my desk chair and tugged open the lid of my laptop. I stared at the code I’d been writing, another installment of my wildly popular video game.

I clacked at the keys, but soon found my mind wandering. After a few more minutes, my gaze didn’t even stare at the screen, but instead through the window behind it.

Louise had been a nice distraction, but we didn’t belong together. Sometimes, she drove me insane with her overwhelming vivaciousness. She always wanted to gab about something or go out somewhere. She’d dragged me to more than enough parties in our six short months of marriage.

She really did deserve someone suited to her personality—and I sure wasn’t it.

I pulled my phone from my pocket and studied my distorted reflection in the dark screen. With a nervous glance over my shoulder, I toggled on my display and downloaded one of those dating apps.

My nose wrinkled as I filled out the profile, foregoing the picture and as many details as I could. I was just curious. And maybe if I made Louise think I was trying, she’d let me slide on this whole dating thing and just move on.

My thumb hovered over the ‘Submit’ button, a sense of dread mixed with curiosity settling over me. What if Louise was right?

I chewed my lower lip and tapped the big red button shaped like a heart, rolling my eyes at how on the nose it all was.

The first profile that popped up made me grimace. Holly enjoyed extreme tarantula breeding–not exactly my cup of tea. I swiped left.

I perused the next profile, my lips falling open as I tried to make sense of the self-described psychedelic artist who appeared to live on a different planet.

With another swipe left, I sent her spiraling away to meet Tammy who appeared to have no interests at all outside of plastic surgery.

Each swipe left was a reminder of how out of place I felt in the dating world. Holly’s profile with her tarantulas made me shudder, not just from disgust but from a deeper loneliness. Was there no one out there who shared my disdain for surface-level existence?

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