“Can I come in?”
Vera didn’t answer straight away. Finally, once he’d nearly given up and started to turn around, she replied. “I suppose so.”
She was sitting bare-faced on the edge of her bed and wearing a set of periwinkle pajamas. Her hair was free of its ponytail.
“Vera.” He stood just inside the door, afraid to presume any farther.
One knee was drawn up to her chest, and he could see the pale skin of her thigh and its soft underside. Her head tilted to one side expectantly.
“Well?”
He crossed the room and knelt before her, almost level with her eyes. Would she let him take her hand? It would be easier to explain himself if they were touching; it’d said that in the book as well, but he hadn’t earned that yet. It wasn’t on her to make this easier for him.
“I’m sorry. I’ve been a complete buffoon. All those times you wanted to know how I felt and I just recoiled, I’m sorry. It wasn’t anything to do with you and everything to do with me. I’m working on it now, starting to. I don’t want to hide my emotions anymore.”
Her eyes were wide with surprise, her mouth parted slightly in an O. He rushed on.
“I can’t say it would be a smooth road but I can promise that I would try every single day. To be vulnerable with you, to trust you, to let you in. I know you’ve said that it’s over, and I can’t blame you for that. It’s what I deserve. But if there’s any part of you willing to take one last chance on me…” he trailed off, feeling like he’d ripped his heart from his chest and handed it to her.
Would she take it?
Chapter 15 - Vera
“Why now?” Vera searched his face for the answer. “Why now, after I’ve given up hope? Is it just because you want me wanting you? Is it no fun anymore if I’m not interested?”
He flinched. “No, it’s not like that at all. I just realized what I was throwing away all because I was frightened, and I realized I'd rather risk being hurt than losing you.”
She looked down at her hands, unable to endure the look in his eye. He’d never shared so much with her. Never revealed the emotions that ran beneath the surface. It would be too easy to slip back into their relationship, which had felt carefree and easy because he would never admit if something was bothering him. Vera didn’t want that. She wanted it to be real.
The clock ticked loudly on the wall. Her bedroom window was open, letting in the breeze from outside and the promise of rain it carried. Being in that space still felt slightly surreal, a dream she was expecting to wake up from. Like one day, she’d be back in her old house, opening her eyes in her own bedroom to the blaring alarm that heralded the start of her work day.
It was hard to believe the way her life had shifted, and it still felt like the ground was shaking beneath her. Putting her faith in a man who had proved himself changeable was a risk. What would happen the next time he decided he wasn’t willing to work on their relationship? He’d walk away again, and she’d be left homeless, jobless, with her heart once again ripped out and stomped on.
“I know you don’t have any reason to trust me. Not after I left you.” Rami seemed to read the thoughts filtering through her mind. He reached for her hand, and when she didn’t flinch back, he laced his fingers through hers. “All I can give you is my wordthat I won’t be the one to walk away again. If we do this, I’m in it for good.”
She wanted to believe him. He was offering her everything she’d been longing for since the day he’d left, but she couldn’t shake the fear that this was some sort of deception. Like a magic trick, he’d whip off the sheet and reveal the truth underneath.
“I don't trust you,” she admitted. “How can we start a relationship when I can’t even trust you?”
Rami squeezed his eyes closed. “I’ll do anything to regain your trust. Let me prove myself to you.”
If this were happening to Moira, Vera knew exactly what she’d tell her to do. Run. Don’t trust someone who has already shown themselves to be untrustworthy. It was asking to get hurt all over again, and the second time, she’d only have herself to blame. Yet at that moment, with Rami on his knees, pleading for her to try again, she couldn’t find the conviction she’d imagined having.
“Is this just because you’re afraid of the curse? Some kind of protective instinct forcing you to keep me close? Because I don’t want to base our relationship on fear, either. I don’t want it to be our mate bond driving you to do this.” Vera tightened her grip on his hand, needing the reassurance of his skin against hers. “I want it to be a decision you make purely as Rami, the human, because it’s Rami, the human issues that drove us apart.”
He took her other hand and moved closer until his forehead touched hers. His brown skin was smooth apart from the crinkles at the corners of his eyes, the sign of a life spent smiling. She found them incredibly attractive.
“Vera, I swear to you this is not just a base instinct forcing me to possess you. This is my heart crying out for you, my mate, my love.” Rami’s voice was hoarse with emotion.
Had she ever seen him so distraught? The mask of stoicism he had worn as long as she’d known him had cracked, and for the first time, she saw the depth of his feeling for her. Love. He’d never said that word to her before. Her heart gave a foolish skip at the sound of it.
“Okay,” she breathed, sealing her fate. “Okay. We can do this. But you’re on a probationary period, got it? I expect some bumps along the way, but when I tell you you’re shutting me out, I expect you to make an effort not to. I need you to talk to me, Rami. I need you to let me in.”
He took her hand and placed it against his chest, where she could feel the strong thump of his heart beneath his shirt. “You’re in. You’ve been in. That’s what made this whole thing so frightening. Having someone mean so much to me that they could hurt me is terrifying.”
“I know it is.” She knew firsthand the havoc that person could wreak on a life. Her first brush with Rami had derailed her, shaken her world, and left her reeling. “But I think it’s worth the risk.”
“So do I.”