Page 90 of Knot the One They Want

Which makes me feel even worse.

"Did you… mark her?" The words are brittle and dry in her throat.

I want to reach out, to touch her and tell her she doesn't have to worry about her place in this pack. Not anymore. But I know those words would probably ring hollow coming from me, at least until she understands.

And she needs to know. Deserves to. Then and only then can she make an informed decision about the pack. Aboutme.

I swallow hard, the weight of the truth pressing down on me. "Yes, we marked her. We had a full mating ceremony, everything. It was... it was supposed to be forever."

Evie's eyes widen, a flicker of pain crossing her face before she masks it. I hate that I've caused her more hurt, but she deserves to know everything.

"When she first left, we thought she just needed time. That the pressure of being the Blackwood omega was too much, especially with our families disapproving of the match. Daria was an outsider. Philanthropy and event planning weren't really her thing, and I don't think she realized how much was going tobe expected of her as a member of the pack. We gave her space, believing she'd come back to us eventually."

The memory of those days, the hope that slowly turned to despair, still burns. Mostly because of the toll I saw it taking on my pack mates. "But then... we felt it. The mark breaking. She'd chosen another alpha, severing our bond completely."

Evie gasps softly, her hand flying to her throat. "That's... that's possible? I thought only alphas could break a bond."

I give a dry laugh. Of course they wouldn't tell a sheltered omega like her that. They wouldn't want them to know how much power they hold over us. But she deserves to know that, too. "Oh, it goes both ways. And it nearly killed us. Lake... Lake took it the hardest. He ended up in the hospital."

Understanding dawns in Evie's eyes, followed quickly by sympathy I don't deserve. "So that's why you hated me," she whispers. "You still want Daria."

The words hit me like a physical blow, and I realize the revelation I had on the walk is true.

Somewhere along the way, Ididstop wanting Daria.

Or maybe I never really wanted her in the first place. It felt so intense, so real, I thought it was love. But now, in the wake of these emotions I feel for the woman sitting across from me, I'm not sure anymore. Maybe it was just obsession.

Whatever I'm feeling for Evie is different.

So different, it can't possibly be the same thing.

But as much as it's driving me to claim her, to take the mate I should have accepted and cherished from the beginning, there's a part of me that knows it might be too late.

A part of me that cares too much for her to try to force her to accept me the way I was so eager to do with Daria. Not because I want Evie any less, but because for the first time in my life, I want something more than my own selfish ambitions and alpha pride.

"No," I finally say, meeting her gaze. "I did. And for a long time, I couldn't let go. I wouldn't let the pack move on. But Evie, you have to understand, what I said at the hospital was the honest truth. The others wanted you from the beginning. They were against rejecting you. All of this, the way you've been treated... it's on me. Not them."

Evie's lips purse, processing my words. I can virtually see the wheels turning in her mind, reevaluating everything she thought she knew about our pack dynamics.

All I can do is hope she finally believes me.

"I know it doesn't excuse my behavior," I continue, the words pouring out of me now. "Nothing can. But I need you to know that if me walking away from the pack is what it takes to make you feel safe, to let you move forward with them... I'll do it."

Shock flashes across Evie's face. "What?"

"I mean it," I say, my voice low. "You deserve to be happy, Evie. To feel loved and cherished by your alphas. If my presence is preventing that, I'll remove myself from the equation."

"You already marked me," she protests, her fair brows furrowing.

"And the otherscompletedtheir marks," I remind her. I can feel it. It's strange, like a chasm has opened up between us. But I can already see their marks solidified on her skin, and I can feel them through our bond. It's a bittersweet knowledge. And I have only myself to blame. "If you take another alpha, it would sever our bond completely. I know they wouldn't fight you on it, if it's what you wanted, and believe me when I say any alpha in the coalition would jump at the chance."

Any alpha but the dumbass standing in front of her.

The fact that's changed doesn't mean I deserve her. Even if the words feel like acid leaving my throat and the thought of another alpha touching her is so abhorrent that I know I'm goingto have to leave the damn country, let alone the pack, just to keep myself from rending him limb from limb.

The silence that follows is deafening. Evie stares at me, her expression unreadable. I brace myself for her response, half-expecting her to jump at the chance to be rid of me.

But when she speaks, her voice is soft, almost hesitant. "Sounds like you have it all planned out. Am I really that distasteful to you?" Her voice is raw, vulnerable in a way I haven't seen her since I rejected her on our mating night. "That you'd walk away from your own pack just to be rid of me?"

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