Page 87 of Knot the One They Want

All I know is that when we found Evie on that bathroom floor, I felt something I've never felt in my entire life. Something I never thought I was capable of.

True, actual fear.Terror.

Goddamn it.

I scrub a hand over my face. I don't know what to do. What I feel for Evie...it terrifies me. It's too intense. Too consuming. If I let myself have her, claim her completely, there will be no going back. She'll own me in a way no one else ever has. Not even Daria.

And if she betrays me, too...

I don't think I'd survive it. Not again.

Not because of what it would do to my ego, although that would definitely be a gargantuan blow. No, this time, it will be because she's taking a part of me I didn't even know existed until her. But it's a part I'm not sure I can live without.

A broken laugh escapes me. Look at me. The ruthless Damien Blackwood, master of my empire, laid low by a woman.

By an omega.

My father was right. I'm not the heir the Blackwood empire needs. I'm not the leader this pack needs.

And I'm certainly not the alpha Evie needs.

I push away from the window, restlessness driving me from the suffocating confines of my study. The mansion feels too small, too close. Evie's scent lingers everywhere, a constant reminder of what I can't have.

My feet carry me outside before I realize it. The cool night air washes over me, a balm to my fevered skin. I breathe deeply, trying to clear my head.

Where do I go from here?

The gravel crunches beneath my shoes as I walk, no destination in mind. The manicured gardens give way to wilder growth, the carefully tended paths fading into barely-there trails.

Still, I press on.

A twig snaps under my foot. I pause, realizing how far I've wandered. The lights of the mansion are a distant glow through the trees. Here, in the depths of the Blackwood estate, the night presses close. Crickets chirp, a gentle breeze rustles leaves overhead. For a moment, I'm transported back to childhood summers spent exploring these woods with my brothers.

When did I lose that sense of wonder?

That ability to find joy in simple things?

I know the answer. The day I decided being the perfect Blackwood heir was more important than being myself.

And now? Now I'm adrift. The mask I've worn for so long is cracking, revealing the uncertain man beneath. It would be so easy to retreat, to rebuild those walls higher and stronger than ever.

But Evie...

I want her. I want her with an intensity that leaves me breathless.

And that's what truly scares me.

I finally turn back toward the mansion, my pace quicker now. The feeling of being watched doesn't leave me until I step onto the manicured lawn.

It's late when I finally return, the grand clock in the foyer chiming midnight as I enter. The house is quiet, the scent of Evie's heat faded to bearable levels. She must have found relief.

My chest tightens at the thought.

Was it Asher who helped her through the first wave of her heat? Cole and Lake? All of them?

Jealousy, hot and bitter, rises in my throat. I have no right to it. I've pushed her away at every turn, too caught up in my own pain to see what was right in front of me.

Even if I pursued her now, she wouldn't want me.

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