Page 62 of The Vampire's Mate

Instead, I closed my eyes and centered on that ache in my chest. Thinking his name made it fade, even if just a little. So I let myself daydream. His face came into view, and I relaxed even more.That crooked grin he gave me when I said something ridiculous made me smile. His red-tinted eyes sent a wave of warmth through my body despite the cold, intensifying when I remembered what it felt like to have his hands on me. They started in my hair, and I wondered if it would feel the same after my haircut. The tension in my muscles uncoiled with every inch his hands discovered. They smoothed over my shoulders, one grazing down my chest and stomach while the other wrapped around me, held me close.

Fuck, I missed him.

In an effort to push the pain away, I kept going with my imagination. For once, my fantasy didn’t turn sexual. I simply pictured James holding me close, silently offering reassurances as I worked through the confusing feelings that had taken up residence in my brain.

The bar used to be my happy place. It didn’t matter what I had going on in my life, I knew I could set it all aside when I was behind the counter. My emotions poured into the drinks I made, my anger taken out on the lids of the shakers. The sounds of the ice and the blenders were enough to drown out my problems. Somewhere along the line that all changed, and I couldn’t pinpoint when it happened.

Surrounded by the icy cold air, I felt nothing but James’s warmth. Nothing but comfort as I pictured my new happy place, one that brought me a sense of comfort I’d never felt:Jameswas my safe space now. And for the first time, I allowed myself to feel good about it.

That cozy feeling grew stronger by the second, almost to the point where I couldn’t stand it. My skin tingled, and a chill zipped down my spine. It felt like I’d had the wind knocked out of me, and I didn’t need to open my eyes to know what I’d see. My vampire had found me.

My first instinct was to run. Though, I was used to runningawayfrom him, and now I wanted to runtohim. To throw my arms around him, beg him to hold me tight—just like I’d been picturing.

I never wanted him to let go.

But I squashed that feeling down, along with everything else I’d realized about myself. And it made me feel sick.

“How did you find me?” I asked. Dark, heavy storm clouds had begun to roll in, and the change in the wind meant rain was inevitable.

“The bond.”

I already knew that would be the answer. I knew it the minute he walked up behind me.

“And Hannah might have helped,” he confessed.

“The same Hannah who sent me out here in the first place?”

“Unless you know of another.”

All I could do was shake my head. Well played, kid. “I told you I needed space.”

“You didn’ttellme anything. You ran.”

“Did that not say it clearly enough?”

“No!” James’s voice thundered over the wind, and I flinched. I hadn’t heard him lose his cool before. “I’m not letting you run anymore, Ryder. I’m sick of enabling your escapism. You said you wouldn’t run, and that’s exactly what you did. If you need something, you’re going to have to use your big boy words and tell me.”

I tightened my fists until my nails dug into my palms, the pain a welcome distraction from the emotions swirling inside me—eerily similar to the storm brewing in the sky.

As the first drops of rain fell, I turned and started up the stairs.

“Ryder, stop walking away from me!”

I spun to snap back, only to come face to face with James. “Then tell me what you want so I can have the space to think.”

“I want to talk,” he said, finally lowering his voice.

“I’m through talking.”

“Funny, you’ve hardly said a word to me about how you feel since we talked about being fated.”

“Because I still feel the same as I did then: I’m terrified. Nothing’s changed. Telling you that over and over doesn’t fix anything.” I started to shiver, and I wasn’t sure whether it was from my out-of-control emotions or the cold that seeped into my bones with every drop of rain. Most rolled off my jacket, but they fell into my collar and soaked my jeans when the wind blew. “I’m cold, and wet, and… sad, so can you please leave me alone?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because you don’t have to do this alone anymore. That’s what I’ve been trying to get you to see this whole time.”

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