Page 91 of InfraRed

“Goddammit, Graham, we are not telling Casey that her little brother exists because her mom raped me. Or that it wasn’t the first time.”

My other hand comes up, covering the one already over my mouth as a choked sob burns its way up my throat. Nausea builds in my stomach, climbing up my chest. Hot tears sting my eyes as I spin away with light movements, leaving my shoes behind so I can get far away fast. When I know I’m far enough away they won’t see me, I fall on my knees.

The contents of my stomach decorate the perfectly landscaped grass until it becomes painful.

My nose burns, and scalding tears trail down my cheeks.

I sniffle and heave some more as what they said repeats in my mind.

My mom…

How could she be so…

Oh my God! Jagger.

For all the things my mom has done to me, the things I thought I deserved, I imagined nothing like this. That she would do something so vile. And he said it wasn’t the first time. How long was she hurting him? How can he stand to look at me?

“I think you could use this?” a deep voice says as a black handkerchief dangles in my vision.

I don’t look up as I accept it with a whispered thanks. I dab it around my mouth, noticing an odd smell.

I start to comment when an arm wraps around me, and the fabric gets shoved inside my mouth, choking my screams. Another cloth covers my nose as I’m lifted as if I weigh nothing. “You made this too easy, my dear.” Hot breath spreads againstmy cheek as he inhales deeply. “I like it when my job is easy.”

I thrash in the unknown man’s arms, screaming at the top of my lungs. “That’s perfect,” he chuckles. “The more you fight, the faster the chloroform will work.”

Now I understand the strange smell. I go perfectly still, but it’s too late. My lids are already heavy.

I have some awareness of being tossed on my side onto something hard, followed by a sharp prick. “Sleep tight, little ballerina,” are the last words I hear before darkness takes me.

Graham

The sounds of the party flow onto the patio as the doors open. More people flow from the ballroom outside for a breath of fresh air. I watch carefully, ensuring no one comes our way.

My brother’s pale green eyes glow under the moonlight. Despite the substance I saw him putting up his nose when I walked out here, the anger swirls, masking his high. Or maybe what I had to say ruined it.

He bares his teeth while he grips his neck, looking as if he wants to hit me. I would let him if I thought it would help.

He paces wildly and furiously back and forth in front of me. I hate seeing him like this, and I shouldn’t be pushing him so hard. The truth is, I feel like a bastard for doing it, but it’s time to face some hard truths. We’re running out of time.

“Jagger, Krista will be gone very soon. Noah will go to the nearest blood relative. That’s Casey. She cannot care for an infant.”

He spins on me, pure rage flashing in his eyes as he snarls. “So that’s what this is? You don’t want to share Casey. A kid would be a huge mood killer, right?”

I drag my hand over my mouth, trying to keep my temper in check. Of course, it’s what he would think. I’ve never given him a reason to think I consider him before her. The reality is I’m still not. I’m actually thinking about that baby, Casey, my dad, and Jagger. This is a fucking mess that will never untangle untilwe face facts. “Dammit, Jagger, no. Casey needs to heal from the damn trauma Krista has inflicted.”

He throws his hands in the air as his eyes grow. “And I don’t. Do you have any idea how I feel?”

“Jagger, I know…”

“No, you don’t. You don’t fucking know anything, Graham.”

I raise my hands in surrender. “Okay, I don’t, and I didn’t mean to negate what you went through. What you’re going through now. But with Casey, it gets complicated. Social workers get involved. You’re his fath—”

“GOD, STOP SAYING THAT!” He covers his ears and spins away from me. “I know how it makes me sound, but I don’t even want to look…” He puts his hands on his knees and bends over as if he’s having a panic attack.

“Jagger, you don’t…” I drag my hand down my face. “Dad will continue to take care of Noah. He loves him.”

“Of course, he does,” he scoffs. “It’s the fucking spawn of his bitch wife.”

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