Page 56 of InfraRed

Get it together. You are better at lying than this.

I pull my attention back to him, staring him… well, not in the eyes. Never the eyes. I always stare at the space between his brows, hoping it looks like I’m making eye contact. “It’s nothing, Dad. Just some things that I’ve had on my mind.”

“Casey, if this is about Graham…” His teeth grit as he scrubs his hand over his face.

“It’s not.” The lie tastes bitter.

“I almost lost you because of—”

“Oh, my God, Dad!” My hands fly in the air as I leap from the chair, my parfait hitting the floor, making a colossal mess I don’t even care about at the moment. “How many times are you going to say that? He’s been back for three weeks, and I swear it’s been part of every conversation we’ve had.” Even I can hear the defensiveness in my voice, and the warning bells in my head tell me to pull back. The thing is, even if I weren’t hiding something, he would still ask because it’s been every single time we’ve met these past few weeks. “And for the record, you didn’t almost lose me because of him. It was me, Dad. Place the blame where it belongs because I’m the one who ran the car off the road that night.” My fists clench at my sides as my chest rises and falls with quick pants. Fire engulfs my face as annoyance andirritation eat away at me, but soon enough, the guilt returns, and the heat is from embarrassment and shame for lying to him—for yelling.

Dad’s hands come up as he takes a step forward as if he’s approaching a feral cat. “All right, Case. You’re right, I’ve picked at it too much. I’m just worried about you.”

“Stop,” I snap, and his brows fly to his forehead.

For a second, I expect a reprimand and a lecture about respect. When he wraps his arms around me, I wish he would’ve yelled because this is worse. “I’m your dad, Casey. Maybe I wasn’t the best one, but the worry didn’t end just because you grew up. I’ll never stop loving you, which means I’ll never stop worrying about you.”

Great, now my eyes are leaking.

My arms wrap around his big body as I bury my face in his shoulder. “I’m sorry, Daddy.”

“For what? Reminding me that I’m a pain in the ass sometime?”

I chuckle and step back. “You’re not any more a pain than I am. I know I don’t make things easy on you.”

“All I want is for you to talk to me, Casey.”

I nod, knowing I can’t give him what he wants because everything I have to tell him will hurt or disappoint him. Fortunately, before I can make promises I won’t keep, his door opens. I swipe away a stray tear and turn to find Lily standing in thigh-high boots and what looks like leather underwear with only the smallest scraps covering the goodies.

“What in the hell are you wearing?” Dad growls.

Lily props a hand on her as she sticks out one booted foot. “You demanded approval on my wardrobe for the video; well, here I am.” With one arm over my chest holding the other arm’s elbow,I cover my mouth to contain my laughter because Lily looks ready to go to war.

“Aliana, so help me God, I’m going to bend you—”

“Nope!” My hands fly to cover my ears. “Do not finish that sentence. My ears can’t handle the trauma.” I bend over quickly to grab my bag and scurry as fast as I can out of the office, slamming the door shut behind me. I barely make it two steps when I’m snatched into a dark room. Heavy breaths fan over my face as I’m caged between a door and a hard body vibrating with anger. Rage ripples in the air like a miasma, stealing the oxygen from the room. Fiery fury heats the space until sweat trickles down my temples and spine.

“What did he mean I am the reason he almost lost you?” He growls the words as the tension continues to seep from his body, but I still hear the pain.

My eyes close as I take a deep breath. Guilt bathes me in its unending abyss of regret and remorse. “Graham,” I whisper, my voice cracking with a plea.

“No. Whatever you’re thinking of saying or doing to deflect, don’t. Tell me what he meant.”

I allow a single tear to slip past my lashes, then force the rest to evaporate. I look up, finding his eyes in the darkness, and lift my hand to his face. “The night I kissed you… The night of my accident…” I shake my head, square my shoulders, and rip the Band-Aid. “It wasn’t an accident. I ran the car off the road on purpose.”

He steps back, bringing both hands to his head. His eyes look tormented as he puts the pieces together. “You…” He stumbles over the word, his voice breaking. He clears his throat, drags a hand over his face, and points at me. “You did it on purpose? B-because of me?”

Whoever said the truth will set you free is a bold-faced liar because this doesn’t feel like freedom. It feels like torture. “Yes, I did it on purpose, but not because of you. Th-that’s just what I told Dad.” My head hangs as the shame I’ve carried for four years overflows.

“I don’t… That’s why he wouldn’t let me see you when you woke up, isn’t it?” I nod, unable to lift my head. “Why would you…” Thick fingers grip my jaw, tilting my head until I’m staring at his stormy eyes. “What the fuck did she do?”

Stupid tears fall the second the words leave his lips because I didn’t have to tell him. He just knows. I swipe at them viciously, then throw my arms around him. “I’m sorry.

He strokes his fingers through my hair, planning soft kisses to my crown. “You don’t have to apologize, Sunflower. Just tell me what she did.”

“It doesn’t matter anymore.”

His chest rumbles. He doesn’t like my answer, but the way he releases a long breath tells me he’ll let it go for now. “Why didn’t you let Will drive you this morning?”

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