Page 21 of Fated Guardian

The nightmare with the jaguar shifter is pretty much on repeat. I have it every night, waking up in the guest room that I chose, shaking. Every night, Nolan is there to hold me close and soothe me, and I fall asleep to the smell of oak and sage.

I remember the kiss, in those moments, too.

Remembering the kiss almost makes it worse, because then I want Nolan more than just for comfort. I want to kiss him again.

Relationships are not something I’m good at. I got along fine with other faeries. I had a hard time with my parents. I cared for them, and they cared for me, before they were killed.

They were both wind-spirits and could literally dance in midair. Romantic, but impractical.

The hive in Seattle raised me more than they did, because they were in another world from me a lot of the time. Many of ushad an affinity for plants, in different ways, and it’s where I felt accepted, loved, and cherished.

And they all died. All of them.

Since then, I haven’t really had relationships. I haven’t even had a kiss prior to the one I plopped on Nolan’s lips a month ago. I definitely haven’t had sex with anyone as an adult. My teenage fumbling, in my mind, is literally a lifetime ago.

Feeling all of this for Nolan, now, is so… new. Everything feels exciting. Every single thing that he does makes my heart ache and my blood heat.

I know that he said that he would kiss me again. But I’m kind of wondering now if that’s true.

“He holds me every night,” I murmur to the pumpkins that I’m currently supporting as they stretch upwards toward the sky. “That means something. Right?”

The pumpkins don’t respond. They don’t feel love like I do. But they’re sending out little vines to wrap around my wrists, so I know that they’re trying to comfort me. A little.

I’m trying to work out what it might mean when I hear the pine trees out front announce a visitor. This one, though, I like.

I skip around to the front of the house. “Lyra!” I say, calling out to my friend.

Lyra grins. “Coral. Oh, my goodness. You look… wow.”

I know.

“Come back to the garden,” I say, dragging her back with me.

Lyra laughs and indulges me. I show off the garden, pointing out all the different vegetables that I’ve grown in just the month that I’ve been here.

“Coral. This is incredible. I know that you probably miss the meadow and the cottage, but this… you’re in your element.”

I can’t lie to her. I don’t want to, for one thing. For another, I just… Well, I can’t.

“I love it here. I think I like it the same amount as my meadow. And the house…” I sigh out a huge sigh of relief. “It’s built inside the ground. Do you know how well I can hear all the trees around me inside of the ground?”

“Really well?”

I shut my eyes, thinking of the trees. “Really, really well.”

“It’s been nice to be here with Nolan?”

I crack an eye at her. “Yes.”

“Even though he always has… visitors?”

I open both eyes at that and look over at her. “Sort of.”

People really are always coming by to see Nolan. I’ve met Amara, his sister, who I like very much, and Jasper. They’re fated mates, which I know is a very big thing for the shifter community, but mostly, it’s just clear to me that they like each other a lot. Love each other, very, very deeply. And that they’re basically perfect for each other.

I’ve met other people, too. Other people who are enforcers for Thorne, such as his brother, Evander, the beta. Members of the pack who just come to check in and say hi to Nolan.

Some of them are women, and I try not to be jealous of them. They all seem really standoffish, like they’re looking at me with something I can’t really put my finger on.

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