Page 88 of Alik

Roman?

His brother was on the same job I was. He was Vitaly’s friend too, up until Vitaly got him killed.

“If Nikita wasn’t taking heat, we wouldn’t be discussing this,” Mikhail, a lieutenant with a tattoo of a snake wrapped around his arm says. “The Bratva is in trouble.”

“The DEA has been on our asses for months,” Boris agrees. “If they’re taking Nikita today, they’ll be hauling us in tomorrow.”

“He’s probably giving us up right now,” another lieutenant mutters.

“Enough.” Maksim steps between Roman and I, blocking him from my view. He looks at me with a seriousness that sobers my anger.

For years, I’ve respected this man. Now … I have to say I’m let down.

“Alik, just tell us. Did you find Vitaly or not?”

I raise my chin. “Yes. And I’m sorry to snuff out your hopes and dreams, but by now, he’s dead. Nikita sent assassins after him the moment I gave him the info.”

Silence overtakes the room, barring the few sighs. Looks are exchanged. Roman slinks into his chair.

No one is surprised, although what Nikita did is certainly frowned upon.

“We’ll find a way to get Nikita out,” I say, getting no response. “In the meantime, we’ll survive without a leader bystaying low and not losing our god damn minds with foolish ideas.”

Roman points a glare my way but doesn’t say anything. I have a feeling that when I leave, the roars will erupt. I turn on my heel and storm away without a dismissal. I can’t bring myself to fake respect for my lieutenants.

Fucking cowards.

21

OLIVE

The pharmacy lights feel too bright.

I have a hoodie pulled over my head and sunglasses shielding my eyes, but still, a spotlight blinds me as I wait in line behind the other patrons, my foot tapping, my hands raking up and down my arms.

I’m pretending to study a display of toothpaste when the woman in front of me turns to give me a judgmental stare. When she faces forward, I force my hands to lower to my sides and focus on pulling even breaths into my lungs.

Breathe. Just breathe, Olive.

There are no criminals out to get you here. No one at the pharmacy wants you dead.

Just … chill. You’re safe. You need to be here. It’s worth it.

It is.

Once Alik left, I spent the next few hours drawing in my sketchbook. First, I focused on a sketch of a mountainous terrain and a bear standing atop a cliff. It was nice… Kind of boring.

But then my mind drifted, and my creativity took me someplace dark.

I was barely conscious as I took to the page, and by the time I was finished with the graphic depiction of my worst nightmare,it was mid-afternoon. I’d covered my mouth, staring at the pool of blood my black and white self was drowning in, only half my arm visible, reaching for a helping hand that would never come. My mom, dad, brother, and sister hung from a clothesline above the pool. Their eyes had been pulled out. Most were gone from the page, but my sister’s dangled from her sockets, and their legs had been sawed off at the knees. Someone had dug beneath their skin and pulled out their veins one by one, letting them dangle over the pool to fill it up with their blood, as if their sawed legs weren’t producing enough.

Alik stood off to the side with his arms crossed and his lips thinned in disapproval, and I stood next to him with a smirk on my face. Except, of course, it wasn’t really me. It washer. I was the one drowning.

I tore the paper to pieces and stuffed the evidence in the garbage disposal before throwing up in the sink.

It isn’t that it’s uncommon for me to have dark thoughts. But it feels almost as if she’s speaking to me. Warning me of what’s to come.

I need help. Ineedher gone.

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