Page 20 of Alik

“Well, please, Roman, tell me what you really think,” Nikita singsongs, stepping closer to his lieutenant.

I look away again before I watch him pull the knife out.

This is my fault.

I should’ve killed the girl.

I fucked up.

It isn’t just Roman’s life on the line. It’s the entire Bratva’s. If Nikita goes so far as to kill Roman to make his point, he’ll make his move against the DEA before the night is through.

It’s my mistake.

I have to fix it.

“I think if you do this, you don’t care about your own people,” Roman spits.

“Has that not been obvious?” Nikita laughs.

I flex my hands and sigh. “We don’t need to kill the special agent because I never killed the daughter.”

All eyes move to me as silence permeates the room. They all wear the same confused look on their faces.

I tuck my hands into my pockets and clear my throat. “The other night, I thought I had a better idea. I took her to one of the Irish drug houses, shot her up, fired out the windows then left her there… I thought her being picked up at a crime scene would be plenty to piss the special agent off. I thought it would bemoreeffective even, but…” I leave my mouth open for a moment, watching as their expressions remain unchanged. They’re still confused, and I can’t blame them. My actions made sense to me at the time, but now that none of it worked, I question the merit of any of my decisions that night.

“It wasn’t,” Maksim finishes for me.

I slide a hand over the back of my neck and nod. “I can finish the job tonight. It’ll be no problem.”

Nikita huffs, shaking his head in disgust. “No problem? Does it seem like we have no problems to you?”

“You’re right, sir.” I nod my agreement. “I made a mistake that cost us. Please, give me the chance to fix it before you make your decision on how I should be punished.”

Silence.

He stares at me for a long time before standing straighter, his cane digging into the carpet as he seems to have made a decision. It isn’t until it’s out of his mouth that I know what it is.

“You acted with authority you’ll never have. You don’t deserve an opportunity for redemption.”

My breathing falters for a moment before I force its return to normal.

Everyone watches me carefully as I pull my gun from behind my back, the metal heavier than I remember. I’m not afraid of death, but I’m having a hard time questioning my judgment after everything that’s happened. I only get one shot at keeping my life. And I’m using it to bluff.

“You’re right, sir,” I say in an even tone while holding out my gun for him.

I keep my face neutral, ensuring there’s no challenge to be found in my posture, my voice, hopefully my eyes. This isn’t about challenging him. It’s about respect. It’s about proving that I’m a soldier capable of following the Bratva to the edge of the Earth and then stepping off.

Loyalty.

Respect.

They don’t come cheaply to a leader like Nikita. I’ve been his most trusted soldier for quite some time now, and it all comes down to my ruthless obedience for his asinine requests,unwavering allegiance despite the lines he’s crossed and lack of fear for him that he seems to appreciate.

I broke his trust, but it’s time to remind him I’m still all the things he’s trusted me to be in the past.

“I trust your judgment, Pakhan.” I continue holding out the gun while he looks between me and the metal, his lips spread thin.

When his eyes roll, I lower the piece.

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