Page 85 of The Widow and the Orcs

Hisvoice faded again, his eyes searching hers, clearly wanting her to corroborateKillik’sclaim.Andthank the gods,Louisacould shake her head and mean it, and give a wavering smile back toward him. “No,Killikdidn’t have anything to do with it.Buthe did take me to meet yourSkai-kesh yesterday, andIprayed, and…”

Andnow it was her own voice fading, and she drew in breath, squeezedUlfarr’shands tight. “Iwant to believe in forgiveness,” she said thickly. “Iwant to believe in redemption, and amends.AndIdidn’t think your punishment was — fair.Especiallyif they went andforgotabout it.”

Butit was perhaps too pointed, too sharp, becauseUlfarrwinced, shook his head. “ItwasSimon’sright toEnforceme as he felt best,” he replied. “Ithreatened him and his mate, and sought to steal her away from him.Andamidst this,Idivided and weakened and failed my clan, also.”

Louisaexhaled and nodded, holding his eyes. “Butyou’ve also been working so hard to make amends,” she said. “You’vefaced the pain and punishment.You’vehelped your clan, and built this beautiful camp.YouhelpedSune.YouhelpedKillik.Youhelpedme.”

Ulfarr’shands clenched back on hers, and he shook his head, made a sound much like a laugh. “ButIyet —Icannot fathom howIhave helped you,Louisa,” he said, hoarse. “Ihave not been a — a good or clever or lusty bedmate.Ihave done naught on my own to bring you joy.Ach, that first nightIranfrom you, as only a true coward would.Iknow not why you keep welcoming this from me, andIwas sure…”

Hisvoice faded again, butLouisakept waiting, kept holding both his hands, watching as he drew in another breath. “Iwas sure you only bore this for —Killik’spayment,” he continued, with a grimace. “Forhis — his coin, after these ten nights are done.”

Forthe coin.Louisa’sstomach pitched, and she squeezed her eyes shut, fought to drag in breath.Ulfarrhadn’t mentioned the coin since the beginning of all this, and she certainly hadn’t wanted to think about it, either, had she?Butof course it had still been hovering over them, whispering its dark, unhappy truth.Thisstill had a time limit, with a payment, and a very clear end.Fourmore nights.

Andgods, it just felt so damned wrong, all of it.AndagainLouisajust wanted to curseKillik, to demand he forget the deal altogether, or at least continue on after it was done — but she’d already tried asking, hadn’t she?AndKillikhad said —No.No.

Andyes, then he’d told her to show him, to prove it to him — but that still didn’t mean anything, did it?He’dstill made no commitments toLouisawhatsoever, beyond these four nights.Andwhile she could perhaps try to undermine him, or try to make her own arrangements withUlfarrafterwards, she still had no interest in trying to stealUlfarraway from him, either.Ulfarrdid needKillik.HeneededKillik’shelp,Killik’sstrength at his side.Heneeded his family, and his son.AndLouisawould not risk taking that from him.Shewould not.

Andworst of all, she still neededKillik’spayment.Sheneeded to protect her property and her people.Sheneeded to forget her past, forgetLordScall…

Butright now — she swallowed, blinked back atUlfarr’sface — she needed to face this.Sheneeded to tellUlfarrthe truth.

“Look,Ido still needKillik’shelp,” she said, holdingUlfarr’seyes, squeezing his hands. “ButIstill meant it whenItold youIwanted this, sweetheart.Iwanted — you.You’vebeen so patient, and so kind, andI—I’veliked that you haven’t always had all the answers, either.I’veliked how we’ve been learning — together.It’snot — not somethingI’veever had the chance to do before, and it really has… helped.It’sbeen… affirming, for me.Empowering.Healing.”

Gods, it sounded so ridiculous, and ifKillikwere here,Louisawould have fully expected some mocking comment in return — butUlfarrjust kept looking at her, holding her hands, as warmth and gratefulness shimmered in his eyes. “Iam honoured,Louisa,” he replied, quiet. “Youhave been such a great help to me also, and brought me this same… healing.Andif there is ever aught elseImight be able to offer you, or if you might ever wish to speak, or have an ear to listen…”

Hedidn’t finish, but his eyes kept studying hers, andLouisafought back her wince, the barbed twist in her belly.Hemeant her past, he meantLordScall, he was giving her an opportunity to face this — but no.No.Shecouldn’t bear to speak of it, she couldn’t risk it, not even with him.Sheneeded to forget it, to escape it, forever…

AndsurelyUlfarrhad caught her hesitation, her refusal — but there was no hurt or judgement in his eyes.Onlymore warmth, and maybe even sympathy, as he brought her hand back to his mouth, and gave another soft kiss against her skin. “Andalso,Louisa,” he murmured, “Ithank you for this letter you sent me, last eve.Thiswas very… lovely.”

Right.Thatdamned letter.Louisa’sface heated at even the thought of it, and she huffed a choked, relieved laugh. “Well, youcanblame that letter onKillik,” she said, with a wincing little smile. “Hesaid you would like it, and you were fine with it, but…”

Shewinced again, searchingUlfarr’seyes, but they were still so warm, so approving. “Ach, how couldInot welcome this?Itbrings me great joy to know my fierce pup has found such a good woman to welcome his strongSkaiploughing.Awoman who now scents so sweet, with his fresh scent yet upon her.”

Oh.AsifUlfarrreally thought that, really welcomed that.AndLouisagave a bemused smile back toward him, even as she kept gripping his hands, holding him here.Wantinghim to keep looking at her, to keep saying such kind things, to stay…

Whensuddenly, above them, something — rustled.Somethingin the tree, curse it, andLouisayelped and leapt backwards, craning her head up toward it.Andyes, that was someone leaping down out of the tree, his dagger flashing in his hand —

ItwasKillik.Andhe was furious.

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Killikrounded onUlfarrandLouisawith his eyes flashing, the growl burning from his throat.

“Whatis this?” he demanded at them. “Andwhat didItell you” — he pointed his dagger towardUlfarr’sface — “about running off alone thus!”

Louisabalked and stiffened all over, her heart pounding — gods, not this again, already — but then she blinked.Stared.BecausewasUlfarr… smiling?Smiling, atKillik, and then reaching his big arm to circle aroundKillik’swaist, and drawing him close.

“Thereyou are, pup,” he murmured, as he bent his head and pressed a kiss toKillik’shair, dangerously close to the blade of the dagger still in his topknot. “Knewnot where you went, this morn.”

Foran instant,Killiklooked nearly as astonished asLouisafelt — but then he jabbed his dagger towardUlfarragain, waving it before his eyes. “Hunting!” he retorted, though his voice was less sharp than before. “Youken it is always hunting, you great witless mongrel!”

Louisablinked again — had she ever heardKillikinsultUlfarrbefore? — butUlfarrwas still smiling, and even snapping his teeth atKillik’stall pointed ear. “Ach, and now you have caught your prey, pup,” he said, as he glanced overKillik’shead, and quirked his smile towardLouisa. “Whatshall you do with it next?”

Louisa’sheart skipped a beat, because, oh, gods, it was againthatUlfarr.Theeasy, commandingUlfarr, and he was even teasingKillik, and — and teasingher.Andhelikedit whenKilliktwitched and spluttered like that, and waved his dagger back at him, nearly close enough to nick the tip of his nose.

“Oh, you ken whatIshall do next,”Killikshot back, and he’d even settled his dagger againstUlfarr’smouth, kissing its sharpened tip at his lips, before trailing it down toward his throat. “Ishall truss it up, and drain it, and make itscream.”

Oh, hell.Theydidn’t mean this, they weren’t doing this, not here, not now, not in the middle of the woods like this — butKillikwas already pulling at the chain ofUlfarr’sbelt, drawing it out slow and brazen from around his waist.AndbeneathUlfarr’strousers,Louisacould see him… twitching.Swelling.EvenasKillik’sother hand kept nudging the dagger atUlfarr’sthroat, as if it was a taunt, or a caress.

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