Page 81 of The Widow and the Orcs

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Louisa’strip home was thankfully, blessedly uneventful.Noorcs, noRikard, only sun and fresh air and her reliable beloved horses.

Butthe further she travelled fromOrcMountain, the more she kept glancing back toward it, fighting to ignore the tightening knot in her belly.Shemight never return there again.Mightnever seeSuneorJuleorRosaagain.Mightnever learn if she’d gained anything today, or whether they’d listened to her at all.

Andworst of all, she might never seeKillikandUlfarragain.I’llrespect whatever you decide, she’d said at the meeting, and she’d meant it — but it suddenly felt deeply unfair, like a punishment that had been thrown upon her, too.Apenance for the grievous sin of falling for a sweet, generous bedpartner, and then not even saying goodbye…

But— no.No.Shewasn’t supposed to be falling forUlfarr, and this wasn’t — anything.Onlya deal.She’donly ever had four more nights, and maybe not even that.

Itwas too much misery, too much curdling mess in her thoughts, andLouisawas deeply grateful when she finally returned home late that afternoon, back to her familiar land, her familiar house.Andbest of all, toJoanandEliseandGladysand the children, who’d all rushed outside to meet her, their faces bright with excitement and relief.

“Wewere so worried about you!”Elisegulped intoLouisa’sshoulder, squeezing her tight. “Wethought the orcsmurderedyou!”

Louisawinced and awkwardly pattedElise’sback, but beside themJoanwas wryly smiling, and shaking her head. “Yeah, and then thatHalthorrshowed up last night,” she said, with a roll of her eyes. “Andsaid he’d gotten word fromKillikthat you’d be staying overnight, so he was going to guard us in your absence.Andthen he slept right outside the damned front door, all the night through!”

Louisablinked — hadKillikreally taken the time to send word back, amidst all that? — but then chuckled, and asked whether they’d offeredHalthorrbreakfast, at least.Whichapparently they had, much to the children’s delight, because it turned outHalthorrhad forgone utensils in favour of only eating with his dagger, and had then made a show of using it to toss bits of egg into the children’s mouths, with only partial success.

Bythe end of the tale, evenElisewas reluctantly smiling, andGladysurgedLouisato come in for supper, and tell them everything she’d seen atOrcMountain. “Andalso,” she said, lookingLouisaup and down, “you need to tell us how you got all this dashing new finery!”

Louisalaughed and allowed herself to be hauled inside, and soon she was regaling them with a slightly edited version of her visit toOrcMountain, focusing particularly on all the different rooms, and the school, and the gigantic shop, and the healer she’d met who might have been magic.

Itmade for a lovely, cozy evening together, enough thatLouisacould almost forget the tightness in her belly, the quiet nagging at the back of her thoughts.Butonce they’d all finally said a cheerful goodnight, and she headed up to the attic alone, it all seemed to creep back again, bitter and lonely and sad.

Itmight be — over.Finished.Forever.Noteven four more nights.Nomore sweetUlfarr, no more snarlingKillik.Andwhy did the thought of losingKillikhurt nearly as much as the thought of losingUlfarr, and why the hell did she even care?Andwhy the hell hadKillikgone and kissed her like that today, when he damn well knew it was probably over, knew he’d never see her again…

Louisadrew in a shaky breath, rubbed at her stinging eyes — and then caught sight of her writing desk, with its ink and paper and quill.Andwait, she’d promisedKillikshe would writeUlfarra letter, and that was something, some tiny tenuous thread to cling to.Away to at least say goodbye.

Shesat down at the desk with genuine relief, and lit her lamp, drew over the quill and a fresh sheet of paper.DearsweetWolf, she wrote, her hand only slightly unsteady.Iwanted to express my deepest regrets for not saying a proper farewell to you —

Whensomething — thudded.Behindher.AndwhenLouisawhipped around, her heartbeat surging in her chest, it was —Killik.Killik, leaping through the now-open window, and landing on the floor in a smooth, graceful crouch.

Louisa’sbreath choked, her eyes locked on his familiar rising form, the daggers glinting in his hair.Andthat glint of his eyes in the shadows, too, the flash of his sharp white teeth, because he was — smiling.Smiling.Ather?

“Ach, do not look at me so shocked and blameless thus, woman,” he said. “Forwe both know what a shrewd vicious harpy you are, ach?”

What?Louisasputtered and attempted a frown at him, while her heartbeat kept kicking, her eyes roving over his lean muscled body, the gleam of his bare chest in the lamplight.Hewas here.He’dcome back.Hers.

Butno, no, that was ridiculous, and she hauled in a breath. “Ihave no idea what you’re talking about,” she snapped back. “Andhave you never heard of a door?Orof waiting to be invited inside?”

ButKillikwas still smiling, even warmer than before, and he shrugged as he sauntered over toward her. “Ach, no,” he said, as he peered over her shoulder, his eyes blatantly sweeping down her letter. “AndWolfshall be glad to see this,Iken.Finishit, andIshall take it to him this eve.”

Takeit to him this eve.Louisatwisted to better frown up atKillik’sface, at that still-twitching smile on his mouth.That… thathappiness.Asif…

“Whatdo you mean, this eve?” she demanded. “Whereis he?Shouldn’the be all the way back at the mountain?Evenyou and all your unnatural sneaking couldn’t get back there that quickly, and…”

Andoh, the way that warmth sparkled inKillik’seyes, quivered on his mouth. “Ach, but he is no more at the mountain,” he said, his voice far too light. “Heis now at the camp, withSune.Wherehe shall stay for the next fortnight, untilSimonandMariacome to visit, and review his work here.”

Atthe camp.Afortnight.UntilSimonandMariacame to visit.Louisa’sgasp sounded much like a yelp, her eyes searchingKillik’ssmug, happy face. “Youmean it?Itactuallyworked?!”

Hervoice came out far too loud, butKillikwas still smiling, and even rolling his eyes. “Ach, no, it was a rank failure, woman,” he replied. “Wolfis only here in spirit, mayhap.Ormayhap he has forever abandoned the clan, and resolved to instead become aKa-esh.”

Buteven the sarcasm sounded warm, almost soft on his voice, and without at all meaning to,Louisaleapt to her feet, and hurled her arms around him. “Oh,I’msoglad,Killik,” she said, muffled, into his chest. “Howdid it happen?Why?”

Killik’sbody briefly stiffened against hers, but even asLouisamade to back away, his hands belatedly clamped closer, stroked up and down her back. “Ach,Iwonder why,” he drawled, his voice vibrating through his chest against her, feeling almost like a chuckle. “Therewas this vicious harpy, you ken, who stood before those with the most power amongst our kin, and threatened them with ousting our camp, ifWolfcould not be there.”

Louisachoked a laugh, even as she yanked back fromKillikagain, and attempted a glare up at his face. “Ididn’t threaten them!” she protested, as primly as she could. “Ionly — informed them of my position.And— reminded them of my rights, as the owner of these lands.”

ButKilliklaughed too, low and easy and approving. “Ach, only thus, woman,” he replied. “Allthese pretty words, even speaking them with your hands,Draflisaid, whilst also gripping your knife, and reeking of rage.Anddrawing upon your kinship with the captain’s mate, and calling uponSimon’sfailings asEnforcer, and remindingMariathat she should be far gladder not to seeWolfeach day.Whilstalso” —Killik’svoice lowered — “speaking so fiercely of howWolfhas helped you, and gained your trust.Not— pushing or gaining this for him, but only speaking of what he has already done.Showinghim as strong and able and faithful, and willing to make amends.”

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