Page 62 of The Widow and the Orcs

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TheOrcMountainNewMateExperiencewas,Louisasoon discovered, an actual plan.Anintroductory guided tour which had been personally developed byRosaherself, and served as a complement to her related written publication, which was apparently titledTheOrcMountainManualforModernMates.

“Assoon asIheardKillikwas seeing you,Igave him a copy, too,”RosainformedLouisa, as they walked through the lamplit corridor. “Ihope he passed it on to you for review, and answered any questions you had?”

Louisatwitched, because the thought ofKillikpassing on an informative publication for her review — let alone answering her questions from it — seemed utterly laughable, and she couldn’t quite hide the quiver on her mouth, or her brief glance at an equally amused-lookingJule. “Er, no,I’mafraidKillikdidn’t mention it,” she replied, as steadily as she could. “Perhapshe just — forgot?”

ButRosahuffed an irritated growl, and threw both her hands in the air. “ThatstubbornSkai,” she snapped. “Hisperpetual blatant contempt toward the written word is foolish, and short-sighted, and utterly unconscionable!Istill can’t tell whether he really is that ignorant, or whether he just enjoys provoking me, and obstructing anyKa-esh attempts at our mountain’s betterment!”

She’dbeen speaking very quickly, her voice high-pitched, andLouisabelatedly recalled thatRosa’sorc mate — and therefore her clan — wasKa-esh.Thesame clanKillikhad complained about several times, right?Andalso, the clan who hadn’t been able to send anyone to guide the camp’s tunnel-digging efforts.

“Er, well,Iwonder if it might just be that they need help digging some tunnels?”Louisacarefully replied. “Iknow they were very eager to have that done, out at their camp.”

“Oh,that,”Rosasaid, with a sigh, and a wrinkle of her nose. “Ido agree that the delays are deeply unfortunate, but our engineers do have a process, and an extensive waiting list full of urgent matters!AndevenJohn-Ka— my mate,I’msure you remember — isn’t able to sway that list.WhichItriedtellingKillik, but he only sneered at me, and told me the list was aSkai-shafting scam, and ought to be shoved up the engineers’ tightKa-esh arses!Whichwas a highly unnecessary comment, and which still” — she drew in breath, and frowned atLouisa— “has no bearing whatsoever on why he didn’t give you myManualforModernMates!”

Right.Louisa’smouth was twitching again, and she fought to suppress it, to say what she should have said from the start of all this. “Uh, well, it’s probably also becauseI’mnot actually anyone’s —mate,” she replied. “We’rejust — friends, that’s all.SoperhapsKillikthought giving it to me might imply that —”

ButRosaloudly scoffed again, and onLouisa’sother side,Julesnorted, too. “Sodamned typical,”Rosasaid, with a roll of her eyes. “Theynever learn!AndthoseSkaiare perpetually the worst!Letme guess,Killikoffered you some sort of agreement?Somekind of limited-time deal, so he could enjoy the benefits and pleasures of your company, without actually having to offer up any commitment or vulnerability or emotional investment of his own?”

Louisa’ssteps faltered, her eyes snapped wide onRosa’sface — how did sheknow? — andRosagave her a sympathetic glance, and a reassuring pat to her arm. “Justignore them,” she said crisply. “IfKillik’snot your mate already, he will be soon — if you really can bear him, that is.Andin the meantime, if you’d like to give him a taste of his own foolishness, or move things along” — her eyes glinted — “feel free to try to leave him, or go spend some quality time with another orc instead.Now, why don’t we make some introductions?Andproperly start ourNewMateExperiencehere?”

Louisawas still fighting through her clamouring thoughts —Rosawas certainly mistaken on this, there was absolutely no wayKillikwould ever become hermate, right? — but she gave a belated nod back, and allowed herself to be drawn intoRosa’sgrand tour ofOrcMountain.

Andjust like the camp,OrcMountainwasn’t at all whatLouisahad expected.Itwas impossibly large, extending both above ground and below, and it was made up of multiple corridors and rooms, each one more astonishing than the next.Therewere bedrooms, meeting-rooms, common-rooms, sparring-rooms, forges, shrines, and spring-fed baths.Andeven a large, clean central kitchen, where three lovely women of varying ages offeredLouisaa delicious meal of tender meat and fresh-baked bread.

Italso turned out thatOrcMountainwas divided into five sections, one for each of the five clans of orcs —Ash-Kai,Bautul,Skai,Ka-esh, andGrisk.Andnot only was each section unique, with distinctly different lighting and layouts, but each clan’s orcs seemed to share common characteristics, too.TheAsh-KaiandBautulorcs tended to be big and bulky and carefully courteous, while theGrisk— the clanSune’sfriendTimobelonged to, apparently — were generally both smaller and kinder.AndRosa’sKa-esh clan, who lived deepest beneath the mountain, indeed seemed to be comprised mostly of scholars — some polite, some uninterested, and several just as cheerfully chatty asRosa.

Butmost intriguing of all — and perhaps most confusing — were the otherSkaiorcs.TheSkaiclan’s wing was situated nearer to the top of the mountain, and it was darker than many of the other sections, with narrower, twistier corridors.AndasRosaandJuleledLouisathrough the corridors, making introductions to variousSkaiorcs they met along the way,Louisafound herself faced with a bizarre array of greetings in return.SomeSkaiwere friendly and welcoming, while others responded far more likeSimonhad — frowning at her, and looking alarmed, or surprised, or even troubled.Again, almost as if…Louisawasn’t welcome.Asif she wasn’t supposed to be here.

ButifRosaandJulenoticed, they didn’t mention it, and they merrily kept on with their tour.NextshowingLouisathe admittedly impressiveSkaibath, made of a thundering waterfall pouring from the ceiling, and then the huge, echoingSkaiarena, and then theSkaiforge.Wherethey met a burly, bearded, silver-haired smith by the vaguely familiar-sounding name ofArgarr, who greetedLouisawith genuine-seeming kindness — even as he pulled over what appeared to be a waiting orc client, and yanked down his trousers.

“Argarr!”Rosayelped, wrinkling her nose toward him. “Notin public, remember?!AndLouisa’sourguest!”

ButthisArgarronly shrugged, flashedRosaa devious smile, and then proceeded to bend his quarry over his workbench, before pulling down his own trousers to reveal his scarred, dripping prick. “Ach, and this woman is aSkai, with my brothers’ scent fresh upon her, soIken she is not easily frightened,” he said with a wink towardLouisa, as he began casually feeding himself into the orc’s upraised backside, while the orc shuddered and moaned. “Andwe are notpublic, for you are inmyforge, ach?Howare you to question howIdo my work?AndifVoggrhere” — he slapped the bent-over orc’s arse — “wishes for his blade today, then he is free to move himself to the top of my list, ach?”

Rosascoffed and muttered something about highly unethical list management, butJuleonly rolled her eyes, and looked wryly resigned.AndLouisa— while still rather shocked by this development — had finally remembered where she’d heard the nameArgarrbefore, and couldn’t help a flustered-feeling smile toward him as she yanked her knife from her belt.

“You’rethe one who fixed my knife, right?” she said, holding it out between them. “Itreally was impressive work.Thankyou.”

Shemeant it — the knife really had been much improved — andArgarrlooked distinctly pleased as he inclined his head, and kept grinding into the orc’s upraised rump. “Ach,Iam glad this was of worth to you, woman.Iwish my brothers’ mates to be kept safe with goodSkaisteel.”

Thematething again.Thatsomehow seemed more disconcerting than his steady circles into his moaning client’s backside, andLouisastill felt hot and unsettled as they traipsed back into the corridor again.SurelyKillikandUlfarr— especiallyKillik— didn’t see her that way, right?Itwas only a deal, she wasn’t even supposed to be here…

No, woman.Fivemore nights.Provethis to me…

“Now,I’msure you’d like to see our new communications office next!”Rosaannounced, with an excited grin towardLouisa. “I’msure you remember the informational campaignsIlaunched when we first met, right?Andyou must have noticed our ongoing outreach efforts, too.”

Shehad?Louisafought to cast her overwhelmed brain backwards, dredging up the memories of howRosa— during the timeLouisahad helped her — had begun creating and distributing informative pamphlets throughout the province, seeking to correct human misconceptions about orcs.Tothe point whereLouisahad introducedRosato several printers and distributors she’d known from her life asLadyScall, and she’d even offered them initial payments from her rapidly dwindling coffers, too.

“Yes, of courseIremember,”Louisareplied, though it sounded slightly forced. “Andwait” — more awareness was slowly dawning — “all that community service the orcs have been doing around the province… is thatyouroutreach?Theroad clearing, and the like?”

Rosa’seyes lit up, her head rapidly nodding, and she eagerly commenced a detailed explanation of all the orcs’ ongoing outreach activities.Whichapparently not only included the road clearing, bridge building, and various odd jobs upon request, but also regular orc participation in markets and fairs, and attendance at community meetings.Allof it supported by a constant rotation of flyers and pamphlets, which were all now printed here inRosa’snew communications office, by several steel contraptions calledhand-presses.

Ittruly was an impressive endeavour, andLouisapraised it as enthusiastically as she could, even as her head began to ache from the smell of the ink permeating the room.Andher unhelpful thoughts kept wandering toKillik, who would long ago have rolled his eyes at all this, and left.Butno, she shouldn’t think ofKillik, he didn’t want her here, and…

“So, how about the school next?”Rosasaid brightly, once she’d finally guidedLouisaback out into the corridor. “Youcan see whereKillikteaches!Andhe’s part of our advisory committee too —I’msure he’s told you about it?TheOrcMountainEducationalCongress?”

Thewhat?Louisa’sscrambled thoughts were struggling to catch up again, because yes,Killikhad told her about his teaching, right?Buthe’d never actually mentioned an actualschool… had he?Letalone theOrcMountainEducationalCongress?

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