Page 48 of The Widow and the Orcs

Oh.Oh, gods.AndasLouisastared atUlfarr, suddenly there was only sympathy, shot through with grief and misery and stark, sweeping regret.She’ddone this.She’dkept her truth fromUlfarr, and she’d hurt him, and brought him sadness and pain.Andhe hadn’t at all deserved it, especially after he’d given her such a lovely day, after he’d so kindly shown her the beautiful place he longed for as his home.Andnow this, she’d left him with this, alone, all damned day.

Killikhad scarcely said a word toLouisaduring the entire walk here, but now he clasped her arm, his jaw set. “Ihave already spoken to him,” he told her, his voice low. “Andhe said he has forgiven me, for howIkept our truth from him.ButIken” — his eyes angled narrow toward her — “it is also yet your truth to speak, woman.”

Hertruth to speak.Louisaswallowed and nodded, and then lurched forward without thinking, without waiting forKillikbehind her.Justneeding to speak withUlfarr, to touch him, to help him…

Shehurled herself onto the bed beside him, snatching up his heavy hand into hers.Andin return, he shifted and started, jerking around to look — and nowLouisacould see his face.Hispale, haggard-looking face, with his bleary, blinking eyes, his grim twisting mouth.

“Oh, sweetheart,”Louisagulped, and though she tried to smile, she was miserably failing, almost about to weep. “I’mso, so sorry.Forgiveme.”

Hervoice scraped through the air, too loud, too presumptuous, too — ridiculous.Andno wonderUlfarrwas staring back at her like that, with such blank disbelief in his eyes — andLouisaabruptly released his hand, shaking her head.Oh, gods, what was she doing, what if she’d already ruined this beyond repair, what if he hadn’t wanted to see her and now — now —

Killik.Killik, swinging himself onto the bed onUlfarr’sother side, and grasping firmly atLouisa’sshoulder.Holdingher there, letting his claws dig in, as his eyes briefly caught, flared, on hers.Asif he was saying —stay.

“Ach, you ought to beg my wolf’s forgiveness, woman,” he said coolly, as his hand dropped from her shoulder, and patted atUlfarr’spale cheek. “Andafter this, mayhap you shall offer to suck his prick, also.”

What?Louisagaped at him, her heart skipping — while between them,Ulfarrshoved onto his back, so he could blink blearily atKillik, too. “Killik,” he said, sharp, almost a reprimand. “Didyou compel her to come here?Youcannot ask her to —”

ButKillikcut in with a growl, and a cool smile towardLouisa. “Ach,Ican ask her whateverIwish,” he said coldly, “for she has brought me naught but trouble all this day!Nowspeak, woman.Tellhim yourtruth, as you promised you would.”

Louisabetrayed a faint flinch, and shot a baleful glare atKillik’ssmug, infuriating face.Atwhere — for the briefest of instants — something again caught, glimmered, in those eyes.Asif… as if… he was giving her a challenge.Anopening.

Showme.Provethis to me.

SoLouisadropped her gaze back toUlfarr’swary face, and drew in a slow, shaky breath. “Right,” she began, hoarse. “I—Ireally am sorry about today, sweetheart.Inever, never meant to hurt you, or keep the truth from you.Butyes” — she swallowed hard — “Idid askKillikto abstain from — er —beddingyou.Duringour time together.”

Shecouldn’t read that look inUlfarr’seyes, but it might have been hurt, or resignation — and she drew in another breath, made herself keep talking. “NotbecauseIhad a problem with it!Orwith you two enjoying one another.Butonly because” — she shot another dark look atKillik— “Killikwon’t stay out of everyoneelse’sbed!AndIdon’twanteveryone else in my bed!Ijust want you and him, and not —”

Butwait.Wait, damn it, what had she just said, andKillik’seyes widened on hers, his nostrils flaring.Asif he was scenting it, scenting the truth of it, oh gods, andLouisasnapped her eyes back toUlfarr, dragged up more words, the rest of the shameful miserable truth.Shewould be honest, just for a moment, and then she would forget it again, forever…

“It’sjust — my husband,” she croaked, too fast, no, no, no. “LordScall.Hewas never faithful, he was always bedding other women, from the earliest days of our marriage.Buthe still expected me to — pushed me to — well.AndIwas too young and afraid to refuse, and twice,Icaught — infections from him, and the second time, it was so seriousIalmost —Icouldn’t — after thatI—”

Sheclamped her mouth shut, whipping her head back and forth, her eyes blinking hard.No.No.Shehad to escape it, forget it,LordScallwas dead.Dead,dead…

“Sothat’s whyIaskedKillik— not to touch you, during our nights together,” she gritted out. “Itruly wasn’t trying to hide it from you, sweetheart, or hurt you, or deny you something you longed for.Itwas just me being — scared.Selfish.”

Hervoice cracked, her mouth contorting into a wobbly, pathetic attempt at a smile.Butbeneath her,Ulfarrwasn’t speaking, or smiling back.Instead, his face looked even harder than before, his dark eyes dangerously flashing — andLouisabraced herself, awaiting his censure, his judgement, his…

Hishand.Hisbig, warm, safe hand, slipping up to curve against her cheek, wiping the foolish streaking wetness away. “Ach, this was not selfish,Louisa,” he said, low and rough. “Iam sorry you needed to bear this.”

What?He— meant that?Butyes, yes, he just kept looking at her like that, touching her like that, and oh, it was so kind, and so generous — and it felt almost painful, cracking and swaying inLouisa’schest.Sostrong she couldn’t stop the sniff from her nose, the streak of new water from her eyes.

“Oh, don’t say that, sweetheart,” she gulped. “NotwhenI’mthe one who should be apologizing to you.Itruly didn’t want to hurt you.”

ButUlfarrdidn’t stop stroking her face, his eyes still glimmering with such palpable sympathy.Whilebeside him,Killikhuffed a loud, impatient sigh, and gave a longsuffering roll of his eyes. “Thereis no need to weep over this, woman,” he said flatly. “ThoughIcannot fathom why you did not just tell us this from the start!AndthenImay not have raged at you so much, or thought you such a jealous harpy!Andalso” — he jabbed a finger toward her — “our mountain’s healer was at the camp today, and he said orcs cannot even carry thispox!AndIam aperfect specimen of health!”

Louisatwitched and frowned back atKillik, but suddenly it somehow felt easier to breathe, easier to choke down the lump in her throat. “Well, then why didn’t you look into that from the start!” she snapped back. “Andas if you weren’t a jealous ogre yourself!Andyoucould have been clearer withmethatUlfarractuallywantedyou in his bed!Howthe hell wasIsupposed to know you were a good enough lover that he would actually miss you?”

Killik’sscoff was loud and affronted this time, but his eyes were dancing on hers, his clawed hand blatantly sliding, spreading, againstUlfarr’sbroad bare chest. “Howcould he not miss me?” he demanded. “Skaiknow pleasure better than any others in our mountain, andI” — he waggled his black brows as he glanced betweenUlfarrandLouisa— “am amagnificentSkai.Ach,Wolf?”

Louisacouldn’t stop her snort of laughter, or her disbelieving glance down atUlfarr’sface.Atwhere his bleary eyes were now darting back and forth between her andKillik, looking both chagrined and surprised, and maybe even… curious.

“Magnificent, my arse,”Louisashot back atKillik, even as she gaveUlfarrher sweetest smile. “Hashe always been this full of codswallop, sweetheart?I’msure you only missed him averylittle, between all his whining and posturing and raging —”

Killikcut her off with another loud scoff, and a purposeful jerk of his head towardUlfarr’sfront.Downto where — oh, hell — he’d somehow already takenUlfarr’scock out of his trousers, and was brazenly… fondling him.Hishand sliding and caressing over that soft scarred bulge, moving with surprising gentleness.Andbeneath his careful strokes,Ulfarrwas… shuddering.Swelling.

Louisa’sbreath caught, her heartbeat skipping, her eyes darting wide and panicked at the room around them.Atthe half-closed curtain, mostly blocking off the bed from view, but anyone could still walk around at any moment, and see this.Although, they could already see —Louisa’sbreath caught — the situation in the next bed over, wherePolly’sskirts were now rucked up around her waist, while her bare-arsed orc rapidly pumped his hips over her.

Louisawatched them for an instant too long, her eyes frozen onPolly’sflushed face, on her hand scraping against her orc’s sweaty back.Asif she truly didn’t care, as if none of them cared — and oh,Killikcertainly didn’t care, smirking like that atLouisaas he kept blatantly strokingUlfarr’sgrowing, shuddering cock.

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