Page 52 of Surprise Baby for the Enemy

She could be mocking me, but it doesn’t feel that way. She’s teasing, trying to lighten what’s become a very heavy mood.

It feels like… an olive branch.

“I love this place,” Raleigh suddenly declares. “I love the house, I love the quiet, I love the big fields. I even love all the freakishly large animals wandering everywhere.”

I laugh again, and a smile flashes across her mouth. She hesitates, her breath catching, then she seems to force the words out. “My whole life, my entire world was the Warwick house. Everything outside those front gates? Total mystery. I had one friend, no mom, a brother I barely knew existed, and a dad who barely cared that I did.” She shrugs. “Except that I could be married off someday. I feel like I’m just now learning how… how fucking stupid he kept me, just so I wouldn’t know to want more.”

I can’t help it. I give her a wry smile. “You’ve never seemed content to me.”

She shoots me a withering look. “Yeah, because luckily dads are mortal, just like everyone else,” she says flippantly. “He kicked the bucket just before I turned twenty, and suddenly, I didn’t have a rope around my neck every second of every day. First thing I did was run.”

That makes me blink at her. She tried running away in the past? “I’m… guessing you didn’t get far.”

Raleigh shakes her head. Her eyes are suddenly very fixed on the fireplace again. “Tommy found me. Gave me a whole speech about how he was the man of the house now, so there were still rules I had to follow.” She swallows hard enough that I see her throat work. “He was grieving, in his own way. Our dad may have locked him away even worse than me, but Tommy still ended up with all the power when he died. That kind of whiplash would fuck anyone up. Plus he was probably feeling responsible for me, since I was the only family he had left.”

Her fingers tighten a little in Justice’s fur. “But I was definitelynotable to think about it like that back then. We barely knew each other, and suddenly this guy was showing up andsaying I had to do what he said?No way. We had a huge fight, and it kinda set the tone for our relationship going forward. He was constantly trying to get me to stay put, and I was constantly looking for ways to leave.”

No wonder she feels like such a disappointment to her family. No wonder she chases off after every new idea without considering the consequences. Every step she tried to take toward freedom was condemned, and that just made her run all the faster. And while I can’t say I blame Thomas for trying to protect his little sister, it seems like his methods served neither of their best interests. In the end, their relationship was fractured, and Raleigh’s sense of self crumbled.

“He’s changed a lot since then,” Raleigh admits. “Ever since he fell in love with Clara, it’s like Tommy’s a whole new person. By his standards, he’s practically carefree! But that still leaves me, emotionally fifteen, physically twenty-five, with the world at my feet and nowhere to go.”

Suddenly, her gaze snaps to mine. Her hazel eyes look golden and fierce in the firelight.

“This is the first place I’ve ever felt like I’m not screaming inside,” she says bluntly. “I feel like I could run for miles, and still have room to spare. I don’t have to perform every second to prove why I should be allowed to stay here. There’s just the sun, and the grass, and huge animals, and… and your mom and you. I love… that, too.”

That sends a shock of pain through my chest. I can see the truth of it in her eyes. When I introduced her to my mother yesterday morning, I had no idea the effect it would have on her.

No mom. No explanation, but enough was said. Her mother is gone, has been since the beginning, and Raleigh carries that void with her everywhere she goes. Here, my own darling mother is happy to step right into that space and take the entire thing up. Of course Raleigh would cling to that feeling.

It occurs to me, at last, that I’m seeing the real Raleigh. Headstrong, fiercely affectionate, starving to experience every aspect of life. And, above all, desperately alone.

I shift closer to her on the couch. Justice, realizing he’s being crowded out of his spot, climbs off her lap and hops down to find a new comfy spot by the fire. Raleigh’s steely expression falters, her eyes widening just a little. But she doesn’t move away.

I want to be the one to relieve her loneliness. I want my family to be the one she finds sanctuary in. And more than anything else, I want that family to grow, with the two of us at its center.

My hand reaches out, knuckles brushing Raleigh’s flushed cheek. She shudders, but still, she doesn’t shy away. Breath held, I lean in and kiss her softly.

Raleigh shivers again, her back softens, then stiffens. I press closer, but she’s suddenly gone. She leaps up from the couch and marches toward the stairs.

“I’m going to bed,” she announces, but I know what she should be saying.

I’m running away. From you. From this. From everything I just told you I wanted.

I’m not going to let her do that anymore.

CHAPTER 28

Raleigh

I hearDerrick’s footsteps following behind me up the stairs. For one childish moment, I consider closing the door to our room in his face, but I don’t. I’m running, but I have nowhere to run to. Even as I do it, I know it’s pointless.

What else is new?

Still, I press the heels of my hands into my eyes, like I’m hiding from a monster. I don’t turn around when Derrick closes the door behind me, don’t turn as I listen to him approach. I can block out the sight of him, but not the heat of him on my back, or the thrill his words send down my spine.

“I want to stay with you, Raleigh.”

“Well I don’t!” I snap back, my words shaking. “I don’t want you- I don’t want this!”

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