Page 43 of Surprise Baby for the Enemy

I don’t blame him, but I also don’tcare. It’s way past time for me to fucking go. In fact, I should’ve left yesterday. All this bullshit I told myself about cleaning up my own messes has only made things worse. I provoked Silver, I got myself caught by Derrick, I lost my head in his arms, and couldn’t even hide my dreams of fleeing the country with a potential baby growing inside me. I’ve been a fool, failed in every way possible.

All that’s left for me is to run. I can’t undo my mistakes or take down Silver, but I can still do what’s best for my baby. The only way to give this child a safe, worry-free life is to leave. It’s the one thing I can control. Thomas will come around eventually, I hope. Derrick is a different story. But no matter what, this baby will be safe and happy- even if it means leaving behind everything I’ve ever known.

Finally, Derrick takes a step toward me. His voice shakes with repressed rage when he speaks. “If you think I’m letting you take off withno planand the chance thatmy baby’sinside you, you’re more insane than I ever imagined Raleigh Warwick.”

My whole body shivers.My baby. The words are like a plucked string in my gut. I have to force myself to ignore the hum of it.

“I’m way more insane than that,” I spit. “I’m leaving, Derrick. I don’t care if you don’t like it. If there’s a baby, it’ll have nothing to do with you-”

He crosses the rest of the distance between us in three angry strides. “Nothing to do with me?!” he demands. He’s still not shouting, but the throbbing vein in his temple tells me it’s taking all his control not to. “How the fuck can you say that? How thefuckcan you just decide without saying a goddamn word to me that a baby that wouldn’t exist withoutmehas nothing to do with me? You’d rather fly around the world with no plan than ask me what the hell I think?”

“Yeah, that’s right. Because I don’t give a shit what you think!”

“Well bad news, Raleigh,” Derrick snarls. “I’m your only set of wheels, and I’ll be dead before I take you to the fucking airport so you can fly off to fucking nowhere if you’re carryingmy baby-”

My baby, my baby, my baby

“It’s not your decision!” I scream. “It’s your accident, Derrick. You didn’t plan for this! You didn’t ask for it. And you don't get to control what happens next. This is my choice- my body, my life, my future.”

“Then let me have a choice-”

“No.”

That one word drops between us like a wall. Derrick lifts his chin, staring down at me with eyes that are totally empty. With a jolt, I realize he’s replaced his mask, the one he wears for everyone but me.

I don’t care. I don’t care, I don’t care, Idon’t.

“You want to tell me what I did to you to make you hate me this much?” he asks, slowly and evenly.

Nothing. He did nothing but hold me close, speak kindly to me, make me feel safe and heard, and fill my world with a life I never expected. Both in my heart and, hopefully, inside my belly.

“You double-crossed my family,” I say, just as evenly.

The corner of Derrick’s mouth quirks. It’s the most bitter disbelief I’ve ever seen, and it’s gone in the blink of an eye.

“The family you don’t even want to go home to?” he presses. “The one you’re not even willing to confide in about your possible pregnancy? Weird that you still hold their grudges for them. I’d understand if you wanted me to take you back to them. Hell, I probably would too, if you asked. But you’d rather burn every last bridge and be totally alone than go back there or stay with me-”

“Shut up.”

He does, but it doesn’t feel like a victory. It feels like pity.

After a moment of silence, he says, “I’m going to clean the glass out of the car, then we can get back on the road.”

“Youcan. I’ll walk back if you won’t drive me,” I tell him.

Wordlessly, Derrick reaches for his belt and pulls out a pair of handcuffs.

It feels like a slap when he holds them up in warning, because the last time I wore them, I’d voluntarily shackled myself to him.

To prove… I wouldn’t run off again.

I want to scream, but my throat closes. I want to cry, but I’m so, so tired. I turn my back to him, because it’s all I can do, but I don’t walk away.

Where the fuck would I go, even if I could?

I hear Derrick open the back door of the cruiser behind me, and Chance and Justice leap out for some much needed stretching and peeing on the curb, but they’re smart enough to stick close to the car and not wander into the road. After a moment, I sit in the grass, not caring that it’s still cold and wet with dew, and stare blankly down the empty highway.

I just want to disappear. I want to be anywhere but here.

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