Page 9 of The Liar

She released a shuddering breath. “Just… not tonight.”

Nausea churned in my gut. The implication was clear. She was holding onto a thread of doubt. Part of her believed I might have been with someone else. A large enough part of her to stop her from making herself vulnerable with me.

My breath caught. I wanted to scream at the unfairness of it. Of all the things she could have accused me of, infidelity was the only sin I hadn’t committed. I belonged to Joanna, heart and soul. Perhaps I couldn’t explain awaywhat she’d seen as well as I’d have liked to, but it hurt to know she thought me capable of such a betrayal.

“Can I hold you?” I asked quietly.

She nodded.

I took her hand, relieved when she let me clasp it without protest, and led her to the bedroom. With gentle touches and careful movements, I removed her clothes one item at a time. My spirit reveled in every section of skin that appeared, because even if she didn’t want to make love, she at least trusted me enough to be naked with me.

Once she stood before me, her arms wrapped around her waist, her dusky nipples peaked from the cool air, I got to work on my own clothes. First, the T-shirt came off, then I unzipped my jeans with clumsy fingers. I pushed them down, stepped out of them, tossed the shirt in the hamper and bent to fold my jeans. They went on top of the dresser.

I kept my underwear on, not wanting to make her uncomfortable. I took off my socks and tossed them in the laundry hamper, then went to my nightstand to switch on the lamp. The top drawer wasn’t quite closed all the way. I didn’t mention it, but I was almost certain she’d rifled through it when I wasn’t home.

Fair enough.

I didn’t like it, but if I’d seen her holding hands with another man, I’d have been a whole lot less calm about it than she was. I’d have marched straight in there and demanded to know why the hell he thought he could lay his hands on my wife.

All things considered, she was being quite reasonable. I was grateful for that and hated it at the same time. Grateful, because selfishly I didn’t want to lose her. But I hated it because she deserved better. She should rant and shout at me and demand to know the truth.

Once again, she was showing all the ways in which she was too good for me.

“I’ll be back in a moment,” I said, debating whether I really needed to shower. But at least one patron had spilled some of their drink on me, and I didn’t want to join her in bed while sticky and smelling of booze.

“Okay.” She didn’t tell me not to take too long or to come back to her soon, as she usually would. Nor did she offer to join me. She barely even acknowledged me.

I hurried through the fastest shower of my life, my heart racing. I strained my ears to hear any movement from the bedroom above the rush of the water, half-afraid I’d return to an empty bedroom.

As soon as the soap had been rinsed from my body, I shut off the water and toweled dry. I gave my teeth a cursory brush and opened the door to the bedroom. My shoulders relaxed. Even in the dim light, the lump beneath the blankets was obvious. She was still here.

I switched off the light and made my way carefully across the dark room. I eased under the covers and drew Joanna into my arms.

“I love you.” I nuzzled into her hair. “You’re the best part of my life.”

Her sleepy murmur went straight to my heart. I ran my hand down her side, and she allowed me to snuggle her. I listened as her breathing gradually deepened, until I was almost certain she was asleep.

It would be a long time until I calmed down enough to sleep too. I clutched her more tightly, fear clawing at me, as if I subconsciously believed she would disappear the instant I stopped touching her.

My phone buzzed. Not my day-to-day phone, but the other one.

I gritted my teeth. I didn’t want to release her for even asecond, but the message could be urgent. Gently, I disengaged myself from Joanna and reached for it. The display’s brightness was turned all the way down, so the light shouldn’t disturb her.

A:How did the meeting with Portia go?

3

JOANNA

The rich scent of coffee greeted me as I opened my eyes, and I smiled instinctively, but my smile vanished as memories from yesterday returned. No matter how sweet West might be to make sure I was caffeinated as soon as I woke, he was keeping secrets from me.

An image flashed into my mind. West’s big, strong hand wrapped around the dainty hand of the pretty blonde who’d been at the coffee shop with him. I couldn’t help wondering whether, if I’d stayed around longer, I’d have seen him kiss her.

Suddenly, the coffee didn’t smell so appealing.

With a sigh, I dragged myself out of bed. I padded across the carpet on soft feet, hoping not to alert West to the fact I was up and about. I chose a pair of long, dark pants from the closet, paired them with a navy blouse and a black blazer and dug out a set of underwear and socks from a drawer.

I shut myself in the attached bathroom and locked the door. When we’d moved in together, we’d asked why anyone would put a lock on a private bathroom, but now I wasgrateful for it, because it meant West couldn’t catch me unawares.

---