Page 46 of Tender Temptation

Love her.

Tonight, in this fragile bubble of time, nothing else matters. It’s Ivy and me.

She’sreal. This is real. We’re all we need.

Tomorrow, however, I know what must be done.

twenty-one

Ivy

The Next Morning

I’m truly home.

Sunlight filters through the blinds, casting a soft glow across the room. I wake up in Cillian’s arms, his warmth enveloping me. I’m fucking happy. Everything feels perfect, like we’ve found our way back to each other. I smile, nuzzling closer, inhaling his familiar, woodsy scent. Reaching down between us, I grip his semi-hard cock and stroke him lovingly.

Cillian’s lips curve into my favorite expression, a pleasurable smile. His hips swivel as he bucks into myhand. Then, as if a bolt of lightning zaps him, his eyes fly open and he sees me grinning up at him. The atmosphere abruptly shifts. His body tenses and he quickly disentangles himself, sitting up and throwing his legs over the side of the bed.

He rubs his temples, muttering, “Fuck.”

“Morning.” I reach out and touch his arm.

He flinches, but doesn’t turn around. “Morning.”

My heart lodges in my throat. I’m not sure what’s happening. Last night, he fucked me until dawn. Usually, no matter how many times we do it, we’re unable to keep our hands off each other when we wake up. I thought everything was fine. Why is he being weird?

It’s awkward. Uncomfortable.

I’ve got to get things back on track. My life depends on it.

“Cillian, about last night.” My voice trembles. “Thank you for letting me explain. I meant every word. I love you and I know we can figure this out.”

He finally flicks his gaze toward me, his hazel eyes filled with sorrow. Guilt. “Ivy, this is no excuse, but I was loaded drunk. Not thinking straight. We shouldn’t have… Look, I don’t want to hurt you.”

“What do you mean?” I tilt my head as dread settles like a boiling vat of acid into my gut.

He pinches his nose with his fingers. “Ican’tbe with you. I didn’t mean for,uh…anything to happen.”

Ihold up my hand as tears spill down my cheeks. “No. Don’t say that. You wanted it too. We both did. Please, Cillian, it’ll be okay. It doesn’t matter how old I am, I know I want to be with you.”

“You don’t know shit, Ivy. You’re eighteen..” He stands and pulls on his jeans. Then runs a hand through his hair. “You have your whole life ahead of you. You’re infatuated. I was your first. But, you’re going to Stanford. You should not be focusing on me. And I, most definitely, should not be focusing on you.”

His words cut me to the core, but I’m not a quitter.

Wrapping the sheet around me, I approach him, placing a hand on his chest. “I’mnotsome little girl who’s infatuated. Please don’t diminish my feelings. I’ve essentially been an adult since my brother died and I’m a legal adult who can make my own decisions. I loveyou, Cillian. Age doesn’t matter. What we have isreal.”

He steps back, recoiling from my touch. “Stop. Itdoesmatter. It matters a lot. I promised myself I wouldn’t let this happen again and yet…” He shakes his head, agonized. “I’m a weak man. I can’t resist you. No, that’s fucked up. This isnotyour fault. I’m the one who’s taken advantage of you.Again.”

“Taken advantage?” My voice rises in frustration. “I was the one who pursuedyou! I lied about my age because I knew you’d never give us a chance if you knew the truth. Iwantedyou, Cillian. I still do. I showed up here last night to make sure you knew you did nothing wrong.”

“You tricked me into taking your virginity on the day you turned eighteen. Can’t you understand it makes me feel like a fucking creep? A thirty-two-year-old man fucking an eighteen-year-old girl?God.” His voice cracks, like he’s as anguished as me. “And seeing you at your father’s office. It was mortifying for both of us, listening to the truth—knowing what we did all summer while your father stood thereoblivious.”

Crying harder, I try to take his hand but he yanks it away. “I’m sorry, I know I messed up. You have to know lying to you killed me. I agonized over it every single day. I wanted to tell you, Idid. But, you thought twenty-four was too young, what was I supposed to do? After everything we meant to each other, I was scared of losing you.”

“What were you supposed to do? Try telling the truth. How can Ieverbelieve you now? About anything?” His shoulders sag. “I’ve taken the job with your dad, Ivy. Try to understand, whatever we have—had—it’s over. You need to live your life and let me move on. You’re beautiful. Smart. Funny. Sweet. You’ve got everything going for you. Learn from this and your next boyfriend will be the luckiest man in the world.”

My heart shatters into a zillion pieces. I’m desperate. Without thinking, I drop my sheet and stand naked and vulnerablebefore him. “Please, Cillian. Look at me. My face. My tits. My pussy. I’myours. Don’t do this. You’re the only one who’s ever really known me. Don’t throw me away. I don’t want anyone else but you toevertouch me.”

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