Page 19 of Tender Temptation

eight

Cillian

A Few Hours Later

God, I need adrink.

I’m having second thoughts. Third thoughts. What the fuck am I doing?

Pulling into the familiar confines of my building’s garage, I’m like a live wire. The apprehension’s been intensifying throughout the drive home.

All morning there was one problem after the other on the jobsite, yet the image of Ivy’s smile, how we danced—how we fucked—replayed incessantly in my mind. Mydick was at half-mast for most of the day, which was annoying AF. I’ve never caught feelings for someone I picked up at the pub before. It freaked me out and, at some point today, doubt crept in.

I’m so goddamn stupid. I can’t go out of town with some woman I met last night.

Woman.Hah!

Ivy Davies is twenty-fucking-four. Far too young for me. It’s not like we have a future, she’s moving to California in a few weeks. Our timing sucks. She’s only beginning to explore adult life, while I’m buried in responsibilities and feel stretched thin. I don’t have any space for…whatever might be blooming between us.

I need to nip this in the bud.

I kill the engine to my truck and sit for a moment, trying to sort out my thoughts. I’m a no-strings, no-complicated-entanglement kind of guy.Fuck it, I’m canceling. I’ll tell her I didn’t book anything yet and let her down by claiming I couldn’t get a reservation.

There’s no need to hurt her. She can go home and this madness between us can fade into the ether.

My phone buzzes as I make my way from the parking garage to the coffee shop next door, where Ivy is waiting.

Ivy:Still feeling you from last night…I’m ready for a repeat. ;)

Jesus fuck. My dick springs to life from her flirty text. I promised this sweet Ivy a getaway and she’s probably been excited all day. Meanwhile, I’ve spent the past couple hours scheming how to get out of it.

The rational part of me knows, without a shadow of doubt, all the reasons why letting this continue is a mistake. The bottom line is, I’m not the guy for her. Last night I had too much to drink. I didn’t even bother with protection. I’m clean, but gave no thought to the potential consequences in my rush to get my dick wet.

She said she’s on birth control, but maybe she lied.

Fuck. Ivy could be pregnant.

I’m not ready to be a father.

Why would she lie about it, though? I can’t imagine someone as genuine as Ivy would be less than truthful. Pretending to spend the night at a friend’s aside… But, I’m a friend, right?

We’ll go with that.

Yeah. I’m spinning. Like I always do if someone outside my family threatens to get close.

Let’s be honest. Despite the swirling doubts and panic, an inherent, truer part of me yearns for this to be real. Everything in my being wants to hang out with her some more.Get to know her. Hold her hand. Run my fingers through her hair. Wrap her in my arms by a roaring fire. Watch her come apart every time I fuck her.

Jesus.Shut. The. Fuck. Up.

Each step toward the coffee shop is a battle between my desires and my fears. Then I catch a glimpse of Ivy standing on the patio.

She’s bathed in the soft afternoon light, her white dress catches the breeze—it’s a vision. Ivy is so starkly beautiful it’s like a punch to my gut. With a small, pink overnight bag at her side, Ivy waits. Blonde hair glimmering with golden highlights. She turns her clear, turquoise eyes toward me and smiles, and it’s as though my world reorients itself around her.

Only her.

All the arguments, all the reasons why this shouldn’t happen, fade into insignificance. The sight of her wipes clean any doubt. She’s what matters to me now.

Mine.