Page 82 of Timeless: Encore

“Hold up, Meems. Let me get it.” She stands behind me when I open the door for Ronni and her little sons. I pick up the closest boy. “Get your ass in here. Aren’t you two of the most handsome boys?”

“Can the twins play in my room?” My adorable daughter looks up at me from under her bangs. She’s the double of Zane. Jesus.

I can see Ronnie’s uncomfortable, so I use the age-old mothering tactic of diversion. “Meems, how about we put up the baby gate in the kitchen? The three of you can hang out in the sitting room where we set up the Play-Doh and racetrack. You can put on a movie too if you want. Then Aunt Ronni and I can be in the kitchen in case you need us.”

Ten minutes later, the kids are settled and wine is poured. Ronni and I sit at my kitchen island to catch up a bit. She fills me in on the latest with her and Connor’s shocking scandal. Her lawsuit. Their new house. I catch her up on the latest with my restaurant. The Xanax disaster. Therapy.

Before I know it, a couple hours have passed and we’ve gone deep on so many subjects. Our friendship is so natural. We’re two women who have a lot in common, but don’t trust easily. She’s becoming such a close friend, I’m looking forward to spending time with her now that she’s relocated to the Seattle area on a permanent basis.

We clink our glasses. “To surviving.”

“To overcoming misogyny.” She fans herself, smirking.

“Fuck the patriarchy.” I slap my hand on the counter. “You did the world a service taking that asshole down. And that nanny too.”

Olga has the night off since she’s taking Mia to Mom’s tomorrow, so we constantly check on the kids. Mia’s got the boys handled, though. She adores Tristan and Torin. When I see her with them, it makes me long to give her some siblings. Zane wants kids so badly. So do I.

“She’ll be a great babysitter when we’re all on the road,” I toss out to Ronni. Zane is at Connor’s tonight with Jace, giving them a little preview of tomorrow’s potential shit show. “If the boys can get their shit together, that is.”

Ronni studies me. I can tell she’s treading lightly. I guess my attempt at neutrality hasn’t masked my lingering anger at Ty—and Zoey, who hasn’t returned any of my texts since we left Arizona. “Hopefully the three of them will get their game plan together. Tomorrow’s a big day. Connor’s convinced Ty’s going to quit.”

“God, I’m trying not to be a bitch. It’s just that Zane has suffered so much.” I can’t divulge too much about the planned meeting. Before he left for Connor’s house, Zane and I agreed to honor Ty and Zoey’s wishes to let them deliver the news. So, I divert with a little dose of truth. “I know Carter’s bullshit is not Ty’s fault. I’m disappointed in Zoey. I thought we’d become close. It hurts she hasn’t returned my texts.”

It’s hard to tell If Ronni picks up on my evasiveness. “She’s not been in touch with me either. Or Alex. I’m keeping an open mind. I understand needing a break. Connor mentioned Zane saw Ty—oh, God. Tell me if I’m prying.”

God. Ronni has proven to be trustworthy. I simply can’t hold back. “No, it’s fine. Yeah, Zane’s been in a couple sessions with Ty and Carter. They’re trying to work things out. Zane’s in a bit of a regression when it comes to his dad. He’s trying desperately not to be resentful, but their history is very—um—challenged.”

“Because of Carter’s addiction issues?” Ronni is concerned, not judgy.

“Yeah, that comes into play. It’s about abandonment, though. I mean, he and I were six—about Mia’s age—when we saw Carter overdose in the park. That night at The Mission? Serious flashbacks for me when I saw Carter unconscious in the ambulance. I shut down.” I think about the big blow up during our session. We all have our own perspectives. “Anyway, when Lianne and Zane moved to Denver, I saw more of Carter than Zane did for years. He’s working through it. Well, we all are. At least, I hope we are.”

“Will you reopen Gus soon?” Ronni brings up the million-dollar question.

“Oh. Yeah…” I’m still unsure about the exact details. “Maybe. I’m not going to count my chickens. Let’s get through tomorrow and see if we’re going to be band widows.”

“Well, I hope you do. I also hope you’ll be on the road with us so we can hang out.” Ronni shows me some pictures on her phone. “Did you get a bus customized? Ours will be ready by March. We’re psyched to tour as a family.”

“I haven’t had time. Wow. This is super fancy, Ronni. Well done.” I’m pleasantly surprised at the cool design. I’ve always thought these custom buses were a waste of money, considering the odds of all of us women touring for months on end with the guys are slim. On the other hand, this bus is phenomenal. Like a mini-house. Maybe it would be worth it… “Are you on board with going on the road with the band though? I mean, don’t you have a ton of projects in the works?”

Ronni sips her wine, then speaks thoughtfully. “When we were filming the show in Vancouver before all of the lawsuit madness, I was miserable knowing that Connor got to spend all day with our sons while I worked. After what we’ve been through this year, I realized I needed a break. A huge, huge break. This Kircher bullshit has taken its toll. The videos put me over the edge. The band stuff hasn’t helped. On the glass is half-full side, it’s also forced me to take stock of my life. It’s funny. I’m seriously questioning whether this industry fulfills me.”

“Well, I don’t know if I want to take Mia out on the road.” I’m glad to have another wife to talk this out with. “She loves her school. Her friends. Plus, I’ve not had my chance yet. All of you ladies have amazing careers. I want to live my own dream.”

“You deserve that, Fee.” Ronnie’s raises her glass.

“Although … God, look at them.” I gaze down at the kids, who are watching a show. Mia’s cuddling both boys. I love this more than words could ever say.

Ronni swoons. “See? That’s what I want my boys to have. Family. We’re all family.”

“Yeah.” Realization dawns and makes me trepidatious for all that still lies ahead. “We are.”

Ronni clasps my shoulder. “Fee, are you okay? Tell me the truth.”

Her question hits me in a soft spot. “I don’t … know.” I look up to the ceiling. As if the answer is in the air. “Ronni, I’m going to confide in you. I’ve been wallowing. I’m still angry. I’m trying to be rainbows and puppies, but I worked so hard on Gus. I’m bitter. It’s hard not to be resentful. I want to follow my dreams, but I truthfully don’t know if I have the energy to do it all again. Or if it’s worth the investment of time. Money. Zane and I spent a small fortune on the renovations for the club. My restaurant …”

It’s too much. Overwhelming. I can’t stop the waterworks. Ronni’s there for me. I sob against her shoulder. “I’m sorry, I think I just needed to vent.”

“Don’t apologize for having feelings. Better out than in.” Ronni pats my back soothingly.

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