Page 42 of Timeless: Encore

Shit. Time to dial my snark back. “Yeah, I’m finalizing the design on my tour bus. Come over. Fee’s going to be at Gus until late.”

“Great, thank you, baby. I’ll be there in a half hour.”

I change out of my stay-at-home-dad track suit, which is fucking badass because it has skulls all over. Throw on jeans and a slim-fitting black sweater. Maybe it would be fun to take Mom out to lunch. Might as well be ready. I’ve resumed picking out my bus amenities when the doorbell rings.

Lianne Rocks is stunning. She always has been. Her strawberry-blonde hair is pulled back in a low ponytail. She wears a shocking-blue cloud-like coat cinched in at the waist. Slim black pants tucked into knee-high black riding boots. I squeeze her to me. “Hi, Mom.”

“Zaney.” She clutches my cheeks and kisses both of them.

“I made coffee.” I pull away and gesture to the kitchen. She takes off her coat, revealing a long tunic sweater in the same blue hue. I hook it on the coat rack in the foyer.

We settle in the conservatory and she pulls no punches. “I want to know why you’re so angry with me.”

“Uh…” I’m a little taken aback.

“What did I do so I can fix it? I miss you.” Her eyes well up. “Ever since your wedding, I’ve seen so little of you. And when we do, you’re so distant.”

Ohmygod. I can’t take making my mom sad. I jump up and sit next to her. “No. Mom. No.” I pull her to me. “You haven’t done anything. I’m just dealing with some things …”

“Fee?” She sniffs. “Is she still upset about what happened all those years ago? I wish I could have fought harder. Made Faye see …”

Fuck. Fuck Fuck. Fuck. Fuuuuuuuck. I slump back in the couch. Bring my fists up to my eyes. Shit. Are wereallygoing into all of this? I focus on my breathing. Get my heart rate under control. When I feel calmer I place my hands in my lap and look at her. Tears stream down her face.

I make a decision. If we’re going there, it might as well be now. Get it out of my system. Maybe put it to bed. “The custody shit took a huge toll on us. Mostly Fiona, obviously. But me too.”

“Of course. I totally understand.” Mom settles back against the couch. We both turn to face each other. “Tell me what you feel safe revealing. I’d never ask you to betray her trust.”

I take another moment to think about what to say. Because it’s not all about Fee. “She went on anti-anxiety meds, and it messed her up. It scared the shit out of me. It took months to deal with, but that’s behind us. You’ve seen her, she’s better than ever. Having Gus be a real living, breathing thing to focus on has been miraculous.”

“Oh God, Zaney. That breaks my heart. Does Faye know?” Mom has always considered Fiona her daughter. I’m positive this worries her as much as it did me.

I fiddle with the bracelets on my wrist. “We’re not seeing much of Faye. It’s triggering for Fee. She’s always berating her for her weight. Her lack of ambition. Her poor mothering skills.Me. Fuck, it’s exhausting. We hired Olga to help us out when we moved in here. It’s been life changing not having Faye’s nasty energy around us and Mia.”

“I’ll never understand what happened to her. She used to be eccentric, but in a fun way. When you were little, she helped me so much. It’s like she changed overnight into a person I didn’t recognize.” She rubs her temples, shaking her head.

I bite my lip. As an adult, I realize Faye showed my mom the sane side and nothing else. “She didn’t change. She was always an asshole.” I close my eyes, remembering all the little shitty comments she’d make to me when I was little. “Did you not hear the things she used to say to me?”

“Like what?” My mom’s eyes widen. She didn’t know.

”It’s not important. Just know that she fucking hated me. Always insinuated I’d grow up to be just like Carter. That I was a loser. Shit like that.” I shrug. “It was basically just comments under her breath, but I heard them. Fee did too.”

“That fucking bitch.” Mom stands and goes to the window. Mutters. Paces. Shakes her head. Then buries her face in her hands and cries.

I jump up and join her. Hug her. “It’s okay, Mom. It is. I didn’t think you knew, and I was too young to fully understand it. I think now that I’m officially Mia’s dad, many things I was salty about make sense to me. I’m working with Lisa Kincaid, the band’s therapist occasionally when I want to talk things through. Fee knows.”

“I’m so sorry, baby. I just can’t believe poor Fiona was stuck with her up in Bellingham. That bitch kept her from Gus. Kept her from you. I should have fought harder.” She looks crestfallen.

I move back to the couch and pat the seat beside me. “Well, there’s something I’ve been feeling. I don’t want to hurt you, but I might as well be honest.”

“God.” She sits. Rests her head on her elbow. “Spill.”

“I fucking hate that you’re back with Carter. Don’t ask me why. I just do. It’s why I don’t have you guys over. I’m working through this too, but I don’t have any answers yet.” It actually feels freeing to just tell my mom what I’ve been feeling for over a year.

Her entire face reddens. “I. Uh …”

“You’re sleeping with him, yeah? Since last Christmas?” I tilt my head. “But you’re you, so you want a commitment. Amiright?”

“I’mme?” She’s confused, annoyed.

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