Page 14 of Signs and Signals

“We, uh, yeah, bro, we were going to surprise you with French toast, I know that’s your favorite. We didn’t know for sure if you would eat it though since you had some earlier in the week. So, we just decided to see what kind of food you had in the refrigerator and pantry. Maybe we will see something we want to get for our house. Right, Lyra?” Van rambles when he is nervous, or caught doing something he knows he isn’t supposed to, which is hilarious to me, because hello, you are twenty-eight years old!

“Well, I am going to go jump in the shower, so if one of you want to make my smoothie while I am in there, I would appreciate it. I already had the berry banana one with my pre-workout, so maybe you can make the chocolate banana recovery smoothie, the recipe is next to the blender,” I say, as I walk to my bathroom and turn on the shower.

I don’t get into the shower just yet, I sneak into the room that has all my books stored in it, Lyra says it’s a library, I just call it a sitting room. Due to mesittingin there while I read a book, but to each their own.

I quiet my steps, so they don’t realize I am not in the shower and open the door to my sitting room, slowly closing it behind me. I wait, holding my breath so I can hear if they are coming down the hall, and once I know the coast is clear, I rush to my stash.

I press the almost invisible button next to the large picture that a friend of Lyra’s took of the three of us on vacation. Lyra had it framed with a plaque with the quote by Michael J. Fox:

Family isn’t an important thing.

It’s everything.

She gave it to me a couple years ago as a housewarming gift when I bought the condo. Every time I look at the poster sized picture of the three of us and think of the quote, I realize we are always going to be there for one another, no matter how mom or dad acts or what they do, it will always be us against the world.

The bookshelf is slightly ajar, and I pull it open a little further to retrieve my stash. Behind the shelf is an entire room, just for me, a little man-cave if you will. It has a leather recliner with all the bells and whistles, it massages, heats, cools, reclines, rocks, you name it, it more than likely has it or does it. The recliner is set in front of a big screen that is mounted to the wall, with all my gaming equipment in a cabinet beneath it; different generations of Xbox, PlayStation, Nintendo, I even have an Atari. In the corner of the room is a cabinet with doors that I use as a pantry and a small refrigerator. It’s not a full size nor is it one you would use in a dorm room, it is just smaller than a normal size one. I open the pantry and grab two bags of Bacon Caramel Toffee for my brother and sister, and when I close the pantry this time, I put the padlock on it, just in case they decide to follow me in here.

I take the goods with me to the bathroom, jumping in the shower and washing all the sweat off of me from my workout. Once I am dressed for the day, gym shorts and a Legends T-shirt, I make my way back to the kitchen, with the contraband for my siblings.

They both look up from the hushed conversation they were having when I walk in, probably trying to decide where to search next. Lyra holds out my smoothie, and I hand her a bag of the goods. Her eyes widen, Van must not have been paying attention, because when Lyra jumps in my arms he looks up from his phone and says, “It was just a smoothie, which is not something to give the jump hug, sis. Wait, you made thesmoothie, why are you jump hugging? Did I miss something?” Then he hears the crinkle of the bag as she tightens her hold on it, like she is preparing herself for an attack.

“Where the fuck did you get a whole bag, Lyra? I have been sitting here talking to you the entire time Atlas was in the shower!” Van’s voice is getting louder and higher in pitch. I am just waiting for the moment for it to crack, like the prepubescent boy that he is acting like.

“Atlas gifted them to me for making his smoothie. And before you ask, fuck no, I am not sharing with you. You ate my last three, asshole.” Lyra glares at Van, while he is trying to glare back, but he is so confused about what is going on, he looks like he is in pain, or constipated.

“Can I have some too, Atlas. Please. I will wash your car. Walk your dog. Clean your house. I will honestly doanythingfor just a handful of those delicious treats right now. Please, Atlas, I’m your big brother, remember when I taught you all the things? Baseball, riding a bike, tying your shoes, washing your balls, masturbating—”

“Eww, too far, Van, too fucking far,” Lyra gags as she spits out the words. "Besides, Atlas doesn't own a dog, and he has a housekeeper, so why would he have you do them. I know for a fact, he sure is not going to let you near his car, dumbass." I can tell Lyra is getting frustrated with him, the vein on her forehead is popping out.

I figure I have made him sweat enough, so I hand him the other bag, that I was holding the entire time, in my hand. All Van had to do was look at me instead of Lyra and he could have bypassed all the begging. He grabs it from my hand, looks at the bag, then to me, back to the bag, then to me again. Suddenly, the force of him jump hugging me, knocks me back a bit, as I was not expecting that from Van at all.

I pat his back and walk them both to the elevator and press the call button. No words are spoken between any of us because they are both caressing the bags of toffee like a baby kitten. I just shake my head as I push them into the elevator and press the lobby button for them. As the door closes, I hear,I love you,shouted from them both. I chuckle and make my way back to the living room, grabbing my smoothie on the way, to watch the replay of our last game.

I head to the clubhouse around eleven, we are planning to get a light workout as a team building exercise the coaching staff makes us do every so often. I understand why we do them, I just don’t knowwhywe do them.

Everyone on the team gets along, there have been no rifts between anyone who works for Riverside Legends since I have been here. But, whatever they schedule, we all show up to.

After the light workout with the team, and when I say light workout, most of us sat on the bikes, or slowly walked on the treadmill and chatted about random things. I head back home since I have the rest of the day off, and just want to relax. Maybe take a nap, read a book, play a game, just relax. I showered at the clubhouse, though I don’t know why, since I didn’t break a sweat while I was there. Habit, I guess.

I find my mind drifting again to the gala and last night's turn of events. Meeting Indya. Dancing with Indya. Holding Indya. She has not been far from my thoughts since we went our separate ways last night. I left right after she did, because let's face it, there was nothing else for me there. What I wanted had left, so I did the same.

Then I think about how my mom was acting and how she and Mallory keep coming up with these hairbrained ideas. I know I need to have a serious discussion with my mother about all this, but honestly, last night was the final straw for me. I hated that Indya was there to witness it all, especially after justmeeting her. It was embarrassing as fuck. I could tell she was uncomfortable, which still makes me feel like shit.

I look at my phone that sits beside me, then my eyes go back to the television. They play this game a couple times, then I realize, why am I looking at the television, I haven’t even turned the damn thing on yet, the remote control is still in my hand, my thumb is hovering over the power button.Maybe I will just shoot her a text. Is it too soon? Will I seem desperate? I can just say, hope you enjoyed yourself last night, or I had fun with you last night, or thank you for letting me hold you so tight, that I felt like our souls were intertwining as we danced among the stars—No, what the hell is wrong with me? Indya has me all twisted up inside and I can’t stop thinking about the way she felt in my arms or the scent of her silken skin. Lavender and honey. I will never in my life forget the smell of her lavender and honey skin.I bet she tastes just as good as she smells.Jesus, I need to stop thinking like this, before I do or say something stupid.

I decide to stop being a pussy and pick up my phone, I will text Indya and just let her know I had a great time with her last night.

Atlas: hey—delete.

Atlas: hi, it’s me. atlas—delete.

Jesus, who am I? Taylor Swift? No. I am not that cool. I just need to stop being a tool, type a message and press send.

Atlas: good afternoon :)send

Yep, it has been decided, I am a tool. I would not be surprised if she just blocked and deleted my number. Fuck why am I so dumb when it comes to this woman.Because yooouuu looove her.That voice sounded just like Lyra when she was eight. Definitely losing it.

I turn on the television and go to my saved movies, may as well settle in for a day with Sylvester Stallone and watch all five Rambo movies. Maybe the blood, fighting and war sceneswill take my mind off of watching my phone for a reply.Please reply.I know for sure that voice was mine.

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