Page 44 of In a Pickle

“Any time.”

He brought her hand to his mouth and kissed it. “I’m sorry for putting you in the middle of that disaster. I don’t know what I was thinking. I shouldn’t have brought you there.”

“No apology necessary,” Liana said. “You absolutely should have brought me. That’s what I’m here for. I’m yours, remember? I’m not about to run away at the first sign of a little drama.”

James’ eyes shone. “Have I told you today that you are amazing?”

“Awwww,” Tori crooned from the backseat. “You two are so cute! This is the first time I’ve seen you together as a couple, and I’m telling you, I couldn’t picture it before, but now I totally see it.”

Liana rolled her eyes. James turned around to face Tori. “I owe you my thanks too. I’m sorry for bringing you there. When my mom said we were having a family dinner and that the McMahons are our family, I just couldn’t stop the rage that bubbled up on your behalf.”

Tori waved him off. “Oh, please. I’ve gotten used to their antics by now. I don’t let them bother me anymore. It’s taken years of therapy but now I’m good. Dude, therapy is amazing. Now I can see them treat me like this and just laugh. I’m so glad I got to be there tonight to watch Mary Grace lose her shit.”

Liana felt James’ grip tighten on her hand. “Tor,” she asked, “can we drop you off at home? I’m sorry to cut our girls’ night short, but I think I want to spend some time with James.”

“Of course, girl. You take care of your man,” said Tori, and Liana’s heart warmed at how her best friend always understood what she needed.

When they’d dropped Tori off, Liana drove to James’ apartment. When they walked in, James plopped down on the couch, his eyes unfocused, his mind clearly far away. Liana brought him a glass of water and sat down next to him.

“I’m so sorry, Liana,” he said. “My family has done some crazy things, but I never thought they’d try to set me up like that.”

“Don’t apologize,” Liana soothed. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“The thing is, in many ways, my parents have a point. I should be happy to take a job like the one they offered. I’m not making any money right now. I’m not using my college degree. I’m basically a deadbeat.”

Liana felt her heart breaking. “I’ve said the same thing so many times about myself. But I don’t feel that way about you, James. Not at all. Tell me honestly: do you love teaching?”

He looked up at her with sad puppy dog eyes. “You mean teaching pickleball?”

“Yes.”

He looked thoughtful. “No one has ever asked me that before.”

“Well, I’m asking now. Do you love it?”

He took a deep breath, considering. “You know, I think I do. And, I know this sounds stupid, but I love playing pickleball too. I love having that competitive outlet while also knowing that I don’t have the pressure of being on international TV like I was with tennis. With pickleball, I can play for fun without feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders. I honestly love sports. Playing them, teaching them.”

She nodded. “I can feel that you do. You’re lucky, James. Honestly, I know pickleball isn’t ‘acceptable’ in the eyes of your parents, but I think you’re so lucky to have found something that you love. Not everybody finds something they love. I’m broke and without career prospects too, but unlike you, there’s nothing I’m really passionate about. I thought I wanted to work in movies, but then I didn’t love it when I was doing it. Now, I’m directionless and passionless. I envy you.”

He shook his head. “You shouldn’t envy me. You’ve been sidelined by a terrible health condition. You’re not directionless; you’re recovering. I’m just a failure.”

“You’re not a failure.” She took his hand and stared into his eyes, willing him to see himself as she saw him. But she could see that she wasn’t breaking through to him. Maybe another time, but for now, he wasn’t ready to accept what she was saying. He’d been conditioned for too long by too many people to see himselfas a failure, and a couple of conversations with her weren’t going to reverse the years of harmful thoughts.

“I appreciate what you’re trying to say, Liana. I really do. I wish I could see things as you do. And I’m so grateful to you for sticking by me. But honestly, when I get in these kinds of moods, I don’t like to drag anyone down with me. You’re welcome to leave. I won’t hold it against you. In fact, it’ll be better for you if you go. You don’t have to watch me be depressed.”

She didn’t move. “I’m not going anywhere, James. You don’t need to worry about me. We don’t have to talk if you don’t want to. But I would like to stay right here next to you. We’ll watch a movie. We’ll cuddle Harry if he lets us. That’s all. No expectations. Okay?”

He buried his face in her neck, and she soaked up his scent, his warmth. “Thank you, Liana. No one has ever wanted to be around me when I’m being a downer.”

“Someone told you that you were a downer?”

He exhaled. “Yeah, I guess someone used that exact word. She said she didn’t like being around me when I was sad.” He didn’t need to say to whom he was referring.

Liana felt her anger rise. She wasn’t normally prone to anger, but she couldn’t believe someone had said that to James. “You’re not a downer, James. Humans have emotions. Some people have diagnosable mental health conditions, too. But it’s okay to have the full range of emotions. And you don’t make me sad. You make me happier every time I’m with you.”

“Even now?”

“Even now,” she confirmed.

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